Nicole's Hope
by rpmaluki
Summary: After so much heartache, is EJ Dimera her one and only? Does Nicole dare hope?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1:

Every night I dream of his arms around me, caressing…protecting…loving and I wake with an emptiness I have never known. I wake to find I am alone, without the greatest lover I have ever known… my husband.

I had it all; fortune…fame and love, or at least I thought I did. I distinctively remember the day I met him…EJ Dimera, at Chez Rouge. He was having dinner with that hag Sami Brady. I knew immediately we were destined.

I truly believed I found the one thing I was denied my whole life, love and acceptance. EJ talked a good game and like a fool I believed him. After so many stops and gos, I really believed my life had come together, that our life had finally come together. I was so wrong.

I have two vivid memories where I was so happy I could hardly believe it. The first is the day I married EJ for the third time. I am not superstitious at all but that day I truly believed the third time was the charm. He was so tall and so handsome, as I walked down the aisle towards him and our eyes locked on each other, I had never known such heaven.

We had renewed our vows in a private ceremony with only Sydney and Johnny present, not forgetting the minister of course. It was the one time Sami had allowed EJ to keep the children for an entire weekend.

He smiled. I could hear my heart beating and the world stopped. I desperately wanted to rush down and join him but the sheer excitement I felt kept me steady and I did oh so love seeing him in that gorgeous Armani suit, custom made to perfection. His expression coaxing me to smile back, I was so easy. I couldn't resist him. Why would I try?

"Nikki, my love…I am overcome with a strange feeling I have never, in all my life, known, unmitigated joy. As you stand here beside me pledging to live out your life as my better half, I can't fathom what it is I did to deserve this gift. I neither am not worthy of the love you give me, nor am I worthy of the time spent loving me as you do.

I pledge my strength for your weakness. I will bear your pain, your hurt and your struggles as my own. I will share your joys and triumphs; my life, my being, my heart in exchange for yours. Every breath I take is and will always be for you, this I promise…THIS I SWEAR!" he said.

He promised…I believed him.

EJ Dimera lied!

The second happiest moment in my whole life was the day I found out my little Sydney was my own. My little girl, whom I loved since the day she was born was my flesh and blood. Sami had no more right to her; she could never take her away from me ever again. The rift in my heart was finally filled to overflowing the day Sydney ran into my arms, the day EJ brought her home.

The confusion was spurned by Dr Baker who felt I deserved to have my daughter taken from me to spite me. As a baby broker he planned to sell my child and I had invariantly caused him "pain" and according to him had to be punished. So he had me believe my child had died and that Sydney was Samantha's daughter, all the while Sydney was mine.

It was "justice" he said before he died, to have me so close to the most important person in my life and yet be so far. I have wished a thousand times over that it was me who ended his life but alas… Sydney thankfully is where she belongs, with me.

EJ, Sydney and I were finally going to be the family I longed for, a family I was denied and led to believe I didn't deserve. On that first night, I could sleep. I practically watched her sleep the whole night.

"She will not disappear into the night, you do know that don't you?" he said.

"I know but I can't help it. I feel like all these years I was drowning and now that I know she is mine, it's like I've finally reached the surface and I breathed for the first time, filling my lungs with the freshest air and I don't want this feeling to stop.

Does that make sense or am I being stupid?"

"I don't think it's stupid, in fact I enjoy watching you watch her sleep. It's rewarding to me to have my two girls with me, happy. I wouldn't have it any other way." He said.

It was pure bliss, I had barely blinked that night, I had sand in my eyes, and my body was weak from exhaustion; I could not sleep…I would not sleep. My girl was home.

We were a family.

Knowing my luck I shouldn't have trusted that things had changed for the better. We were a family… for about a day and a half.

Two days after Sydney came home, my world crashed. EJ, love of my life had betrayed me with the vilest human being to cross my path, Samantha Jean Brady!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

It's been one full month since I walked out on EJ; one full month of tears and dinners alone. To say it was one of the hardest things I had to do in my whole life is an understatement. I am never one to harp on how difficult my childhood was but it is disingenuous to claim it had no influence in some if not all the horrible decisions I have made over the years.

Falling for EJ Dimera has proven to be the worst of the whole lot. Here I am lying wide awake, on a cold bed, going over my life like it's a movie reel. I am swimming in regrets; it's surprising I have not yet drowned from the weight.

What if I never came back to Salem when I did? I could have stayed in L.A. Why did I return to this miserable place?

"…Because you needed money Nikki, that's why!" I vent out into the night.

Working for Austin didn't prove as lucrative as I imagined. That idiot left me high and dry. With no contacts, Los Angeles quickly became hostile territory. I had to move and knowing what they say about the prodigal son…Salem was the obvious choice and Victor was ripe for the taking; thank goodness the old goat never divorced me.

EJ…

Sydney…

EJ with Sami…

And now we're back. This is what my life has been reduced to, a never ending cycle of self pity, what ifs and the two people I love the most in the world, then thoughts of Sami just ruin everything and I start all over again with the crying. No more!

"Get a grip Nicole! It's not like you have never been here before. You have come through worse and you survived. You will survive EJ Dimera even if it takes you a lifetime!"

Yes, that's the spirit. I need to get him out of my system. That would be so easy if he wasn't so ingrained in the first place.

I need to think of him no more, to dream of him no more…to long for him NO MORE! Great, now that I have worked that out, it would be even better if I acted on it.

I hear a creak of my bedroom door.

"Mama, can I sleep with you?"

Sydney…my Sydney, the one and only good thing I ever did.

"Of course baby-girl, come here."

My precious baby has had quite an eventful life in the short four years she's lived. It makes me so angry to think of what Baker did to me, to us all those years ago, robbing me of what was rightfully meant for me. Because of that man, I have had to watch from the sidelines as Sami mothered my child.

What is worse is that Sydney is having an even more difficult time adjusting to her new circumstances. The first months of her life were spent with me and her father. Then I had to give her up, I will never forget that day for as long as I live. My heart broke that day.

I worked so hard to ease the pain of the separation but no matter what I did, I could never forget my little girl and how much I loved her. She has spent most of her life in a horrible tug of war between EJ and Sami. And now here I am practically doing the same thing, well sort of.

When I left I swore I would never engage in that type of warfare with EJ. Sydney is not a plaything to be used against the other even if her parents are at odds with one another. She loves her father and he loves her, I would never dream of keeping these two apart.

"Mama…?'

"…Yes?"

"When are we going home to Daddy?"

Oh my…

"Daddy is coming tomorrow Poppet. He's taking you to the zoo, remember?"

She nods.

"Are you coming to the see the animals with Daddy and me?"

"No…I can't come with you." I say sandwiching her between myself and the covers.

"…Why not? We always go together to see the animals; you, Daddy, me and Johnny.

Don't you love Daddy anymore?"

Why are we so inquisitive at near midnight? And these questions, I can't answer them, I'm still processing everything and it's all jumbled up. The last thing I want is to bring more confusion to an already complicated situation.

Her restlessness on the other hand is not abating. Barely a month in our new home and Sydney sleeps more in my bed than in her own. She says the shadows from the window frighten her at night, so I moved her to the room across the hall, with no outside light to disturb her but nothing helps.

In fact I don't mind at all, I wish however that she wasn't so skittish since we moved out on our own. I was surprised when EJ finally let me go and he insisted Sydney come with me. My heart beats thunderously at the thought of what that meant for him. EJ fervently loves his children. He was literally dying inside when he gave them up to Sami when things heated to fever pitch between the Dimeras and Kiriakii.

"She's needs to be with her mother and I know how much you need her. Nothing needs to change between you two." He said.

I could hardly stand, his expression was wrought with pain and I didn't want to see him that way but what choice did I have? I couldn't stay not even for the children, knowing what I knew. EJ had grown accustomed to our life as a family. He successfully recovered full custody of Johnny and Sydney several months prior.

It was easy to fall into a rhythm and I was happy and I honestly thought he was too.

I was too shocked to protest, he fought so hard and now he was giving Sydney up, my heart swelled with emotion. The love has for Sydney and Johnny always turned me to puddle. Damn that man has too much power over me.

"You're her Mama, you always have been. It's like somehow she's always known that. I don't remember hearing Syd refer to Samantha as her 'Mama' despite all these years." He said stepping closer that was safe.

Even though I knew what he was doing, I let him. When he finally closed the gap between us so not even e sheet of paper to pass between, I almost caved. I desperately wanted to believe every word out of his mouth…he loved me still…regrets his horrendous mistake…he was drunk out of his mind…I made him sign those 'stupid' divorce papers…Johnny was presumed dead…he loved me…he loved me…HE LOVED ME, he said over and over.

Our lips eventually met in mutual frustration…longing and demanding. I wanted to him so much, so badly I couldn't breathe. The world disappeared; all of my senses were heightened to dizzying levels. He tasted so good, he felt so wonderful, he had just showered, no matter what I did I couldn't escape him and I didn't even want to try.

My heart, maybe it was his was racing and racing as we entangled in our impassioned dance. It got louder and louder, affirming the deep seeded desire I felt for my husband and my weakness for him. We were one. I tried pulling away, to break the spell. He pulled me tighter to him.

Yes…I screamed inside…Yes! Yes! Yes!

"No…" I moaned out loud, it was a crazed whisper but I finally caught a hold of myself.

"Yes…" he growled in my mouth which he still possessed.

"Yes because we both want this. Yes because I am your husband and you are my wife. Yes because we love each other.

Yes…Nicole, say yes. SAY YES!"

"No!

Not this time. I told you I can't and I won't.

Please don't do this…?" I broke free from his hold.

"No Nikki, it's you! You are doing this…to us, putting an end to what is literally the best thing to happen to the both of us.

IT'S ALL YOU!

I'm just trying to save it!

What we have is a gift and you're just throwing it all away because one stupid night where, I didn't even know what I was doing. Yes I made the mistake and yes I have regret it since the moment it happened. What more can I say to convince you that I love you…I LOVE YOU. Sami is nothing to me…NOTHING!

Come on Nikki…" He moved in for another kiss but I pushed him away.

"No EJ, it's over. The sooner we accept that, the better off it will be. I can't do …this… anymore. I don't have it in me EJ, I told you that!" I said, raising my voice a little.

He changed colour and I knew he would never take that lying down. EJ Dimera never backed down from a fight and our quarrels were always of epic proportions. It's the one thing that constantly drew us together. We enjoyed getting under each other's skin, but things were different now.

"Nic…"

"Sydney, there you are," I interrupted hi ensuing rage waiting to explode.

She came down the stairs with her little kiddie overnight bag filled with her favourite toys.

"Daddy says I am going with you tonight. I wanted to bring Mr Tinkles; he doesn't like it when I leave him behind. Is that okay?"

"Of course Darling, you can bring Ms Pepperpots and Tweedy if you want. We have room enough where we are going."

I took her by the hand, glance at EJ for the last time.

"I will come by tomorrow to get her some more things.

I don't want to hurt you EJ but I think we have run our course and we need to move on.

Thank you for Sydney; I know how much this must mean to you so thank you for doing this…for me. I won't forget it."

"Like you won't forget Sami…'

"Not now EJ, please…

I will come by tomorrow please let Cynthia know.

Say bye-bye to your father Sweetness." I said.

"G'bye Daddy!" she said gleefully as though this was nothing but a field trip.

EJ and I knew better!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

"Don't you love Daddy anymore?" Sydney asked me, the night before.

Yes.

That's something that has never changed. Over the years that is the one constant and even now I don't believe that will ever change. I told him as much when he asked if my feelings for him had changed. Everything is so confusing right now. My thoughts are in chaos, pulling me in a million directions all at once.

I wrap a bath robe around me and see to Sydney.

He will be here any minute now and I'm a wreck. Dressing Sydney is always a joy, picking the dress, stockings or skirt with a matching top and shoes. Today is pants day since EJ's taking her to the zoo. He wants her to be able to run around without too much trouble. She always puts a smile on my face but not today.

After an hour of indecision, she is fully dressed in corduroys and boots with her little purse. After a minute's critique inspection we make our way downstairs for a little snack. She seems happy, as a four year old should be…at least I hope.

In the kitchen, we sit at the breakfast table with a plate of cookies and half a glass of pine juice, not orange.

We then talk about all the animals that she's going to see later in the day. The tiger is her favourite; it reminds her of Tigger and the blue stripes in her bedroom.

"Which other animal is at the zoo that has stripes? I will give you a clue…it looks like a horse…"

"A…zzZEBRA!" she yells triumphantly.

"You and me and Daddy are going to see zebras. Daddy says he's going to buy me one when I am older." She says with surety.

I pretend as though I didn't hear her. I already told her last night that I wouldn't join them. EJ knows this.

"…A zebra? Didn't he say a horse? I am sure he said a horse."

"NO a zebra, Mama; he says I can have anything I want and I want a zebra. It has stripes and it's so purrty!"

"Where is this zebra going to sleep? …In your room?"

"NO Mama, outside; it can't sleep inside, it stinks."

We then debate the subject matter further with Sydney standing firm on the smelly beast remaining outside once Daddy has purchased it. She presents her argument clearly putting my paltry stance to shame…smart girl!

The door bell rings. It's EJ.

"Daddy's here! Daddy's here! Daddy's here!" she screams as she runs into the lounge to welcome her father in our new home, leaving me behind.

"Yes Poppet, Daddy's here." He says.

I can hear his hearty laugh as it fills the house. I can't help but smile at the image in my mind of Sydney jumping into his arms and him spinning her round. She loves that and he never fails to minister this greeting no matter what time of day it is. She's giggling; he's started on tickling her. I want to join them so badly. My feet are literally itching to drag me from the kitchen but my will is stronger still.

"How's my baby girl? Is she ready to go see Tigger at the zoo?"

"YAY!" replies my Sydney.

Hearing his rich English voice turns my will into water. I am all flush, everything is warm. Damn it!

"Where's your Mama?"

Luckily he pushes open the door into the kitchen…saved. Our eyes meet and I can feel my body betray me once more as EJ smiles, just barely. He knows; he sees me.

"Nicole…"

That's all he says.

"EJ…"

He tilts his head slightly, broadening his smile. He's doing a terrible job of hiding his apparent amusement at my expense. He has this overpowering effect over me and he knows it. It's been over a month and I have yet to give in to him but it has not been easy, in fact climbing Everest is a cake walk compared to this struggle.

"Did you talk Mama into joining us today?"

I shake my head vigorously, mouthing a silent but definite NO!

"We are all going to see the animals," interjects Sydney.

"Yes we are, aren't we?"

Clearly he's not listening to me. So I have to be the bad guy here and ruin Sydney's day, manipulated by her devious father. Sorry EJ, not this time.

"I'm sorry Sweetie but Mama has to work today, DADDY knows and he understands since he won't hire a new publicist to get him elected." I say stressing the point that it's entirely his fault, EVERYTHING is his fault. I give him the evil eye.

"…Right, I forget sometimes," he says mindlessly.

He's not even apologetic about it.

"Maybe you should take the day off, as your boss (which I still am) I command you take the day off and spend it with your family. Work can certainly wait.

Sydney wants to spend time with BOTH her parents (I want to spend time with you).

Say yes?"

He gives me that sad puppy look. There he goes again guilting me into doing what HE wants. I know every trick in the book.

"I'm sure Sydney doesn't mind, she misses you terribly. This is the perfect time for you two to do your father-daughter thing with no mommy around.

Plus I wasn't kidding when I said I had work to do, I have a mountain of paperwork to get through. You do still want to win, right?

Let me get to it."

I shut him down fast before he has opportunity to bring out his best weapon…seduction. With Sydney in his arms he won't try anything…saved again.

His whole demeanour then changes. Suddenly the room temperature rises, he's bringing out the heavy artillery. He's looking at me like he'd love to eat me up right there in my kitchen.

"Stop it! I know what you're doing." I give warning.

"What am I doing besides standing here? You've got that whole table between us to protect your virtue. I have barely moved a muscle since I walked in her…that's what you do to me; you hold me captive in your ravishing beauty."

He looks down my chest area (I fold the robe tightly round and fold my arms, covering everything.

"…Bloody hell Nicole!" He lets out a curse.

"I want…you know what I want. Come home with me? Come home with me and Sydney. I want you back home where you belong, where both my girls belongs!"


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

…Home?

Is this dainty house with beige walls and a muddy red canopy, with a swing in the backyard and lavish front lawn strewn with every flower known to man my home, me and Sydney's? Or is it the massive European styled mansion with perfectly manicured lawns and a stable, pool, tennis courts and a freaking helipad…A HELIPAD for crying out loud! Is that my home?

I used to think so. I spent my whole life chasing after that dream, of living the life, like I was the queen of castle. I needed to marry well…VERY WELL; being born on the wrong side of the rail yard didn't give me the needed jumpstart so many are gifted with. I decided early in life would have all the money in the world and even if I never had the love of my husband, I would have everything else that was his.

What was love worth any way?

It worked out perfectly, except for the times it didn't. I chained myself to Victor's wrinkly self for YEARS. I had hit the jackpot. The payoff should have been enough but no…I had to go against my set goal, the very fibre of my existence and fall in love; me…Nicole Walker!

Not only did I fall in love, the man I came to love was more than just loaded, he was DOUBLY loaded; he put the Kiriakis fortune to shame.

When I meat EJ for the first time, he was nothing but a hot, sexy, intelligent but not so smart purse holder for that parasite Sami Brady. More than that he was a lawyer and I needed to pry my millions from the corpse I called my husband.

I should have walked away then, save myself years of nothing but heartache.

It didn't take long before his cold, stoic British demeanour crumbled and I saw the man inside those expensive suits. We were two souls hurting inside; on a journey…seeking…wanting acceptance for our broken spirits. He could never hide from me the pain I knew he felt. You can't be raised by Stefano and not walk away without any scars. I saw the real EJ, I knew the real EJ!

We wanted the same thing just in different people. Gahhh, the thought of wanting the likes of Sami Brady...ever? I'd rather stab myself with a thousand blunt knives. To this day I can't believe Eric is her twin let alone flesh and blood.

What convinced me to break my cardinal rule was just how devious the man really was. He hid behind his stuck-up and snobbish attitude, well-bred and oxford educated he was but boy did he know how to get down dirty with the best of us, when it suited him of course. That's the EJ I fell in love with and that was the EJ I believed would love me back.

I looked past his name, his money, his family influence to the man I knew would see past my faults, my past, he would see the Nikki I buried deep inside since the day Paul came into my room that first time and Mom turned away from me!

Where is my home? I have had so many, I lost count. I thought I had found it with EJ. I told him once that when he put his arms around me…that WAS my home! Every moment with him, HE was my home.

Where is my home?

"Where is home?" my words find their voice.

His eyes flicker, but only just. He understands. He understands and is hurt by my words. He pulls his shoulders back, standing in full height, looking down at me…hiding once again.

"I am…home EJ. My place is no longer by your side. How many times must we…"

Sydney's doe eyes turn to me.

"What do I have to do to make you see sense? I told you a million times already. She meant…means NOTHING to me!" He raises his voice, completely ignorant of the little girl in his arms.

"Please…let's not get into this again, not in front of Syd. This is a happy day for her I don't want to spoil it for her. So please don't make me."

"Poppet…did you remember to pack your colouring book and all your crayons?" he turns to her as though I'm not even in the room.

"No Daddy, I forgot!" she says.

"Run along to your room and get them, can you do that for Daddy?" he asks her, to which she then nods.

He sets her back on the floor and like every little girl in the world wanting to please her father she bolts right out of the kitchen, up the stairs as her father bids her do. As much as I enjoy watching them interact, it's different this morning. Instead of being moved by the seen, I know the reason EJ sent our daughter flying upstairs.

"If you think you have you are going to have the same luck with me, trying to get me to come h…to go any where with you, I've got news for you. I'm not some little girl eager to please and stroke your ego because for once in your miserable life you aren't getting your way."

That really did this time.

If he was ice cold a minute ago, he's a raging fire now. One thing EJ has never been able to get a grip on was his inability to accept defeat. It's a foreign concept that's never made way into his psyche. It's one of the things I found so damn sexy about him. When he doesn't get what he wants he get angry, really angry.

Any other person would cower under the look bearing down on me right this moment, but not me. I am not afraid of him. After all these years, I have grown accustomed to this side of him…even to the point of appreciation.

"WOMAN, how can you be the smartest person I know and yet be this dull?" he explodes.

"Oh wow, great of you to try and win me over by insulting my intelligence."

"What else am I to think Nicole when you won't see reason? You make me so mad sometimes, only you…you can frustrate me more than any other living person I know. You are too stubborn for your own good. Too stubborn letting Samantha come between what we have."

"…HAD, what we had." I correct him.

"What is with you and this obsession believing that it's Samantha I want? I LOVE YOU DAMN IT!"

"I used to believe that EJ…once, not anymore. You can yell and scream at me all you want, it won't change my mind. How many times have I heard you claim Samantha was history, that she was no longer in your heart?

It must have been a million times, am I right? I mean the things you did to prove to yourself and your father that you were over that hag, my goodness EJ you replaced her husband with a doppelganger for months!

So forgive me if your words have an opposite effect on me right now. I saw those damn photos sent to me, someone out there wanted me to know the truth since clearly you, MY husband, didn't think I deserved to know and don't give me that junk about protecting me, I can only take so much insulting in one day!

You say it meant nothing, it means nothing; I saw the two of you. IT DIDN'T LOOK LIKE YOU HATED HER THEN! I couldn't believe my eyes. I wanted to be sick, my stomach is churning still at the very thought of what YOU did to us!

You make me sick!

I wish for all the world to be free of you but I can't. Upstairs, my beautiful daughter continues to think…believe that nothing's changed between us but EVERTHING'S changed. You are not the man I fell in love with, since I'm not the woman you truly love as much as I love you…"

"You love me?' he dares smile. I ignore him.

"You have taken so much from me, leave me my dignity."

He ignores me and walks up to me and the next thing I know, his arms are around me, trapping me to him. I try fighting him off only to be held even tightly against his tall frame.

"You love me" he states as fact.

"No!" I deny, looking up at his blazing eyes that are stripping me of every shed of resistance, never mind the bathrobe.

"You love me. You love me!" he says more forcefully as he plants his lips on mine, seizing me in wild delirium. My attempts to pull away are thwarted, he's just that much stronger and the fact that I have been thinking about kissing him since the moment he stepped into my little kitchen doesn't help matters.

Damn my weakness…

"I knew it! You do love me!" he grunts.

The last thing I remember was EJ smiling as his kisses ravaged my senses.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

Oh my…what's this man doing to me? His kisses turn into something more. I can barely breathe. EJ's hands begin exploring; he pulls back the robe, exposing a great amount of skin. My night gown doesn't leave much to the imagination. His lips finish what his hands started, searing my flesh all the way down my chest.

"I want you so damn much right NOW!" he growls.

Ripples of ecstasy rush through me from head to toe, I can't help myself. He then pushes me against the counter for support and soon after all is forgotten…his betrayal; Sami; Sydney. It's just me and EJ swept up in a passionate embrace moments away from giving in completely.

"Make love to me Nicole…"

He quickly discards his casual jacket carelessly on the floor as my hands seek out the buttons of his shirt, moving of their own volition. I can feel his rumbling excitement with each undone button. Soon enough my robe is on the floor. EJ's hand moves to the spot just over the back of my knee, lifting me and pulling me ever closer into him; sending me into a tailspin.

My head reproves my weakness furiously but my body craves for him more and more and who ever has a clear head at this point in time?

Suddenly he stops! Lifting his face to look me in the eye; I see rawness in his desire, questioning…waiting for something. What game's he playing now, I thought he wanted this. A second later I realise what it is he's waiting for…me.

"Are you sure?" his eyes seem to be vocalising what his words can't.

Am I sure I want THIS? Should I let him love me as he used to? If my head wasn't filled with as much fog as it is at this moment the next scene would play out so differently.

I pull him down to me at lightning speed and he reciprocates.

What AM I doing?

I want this…I need this. I need this…

"Daddy, I'm ready!"

Sydney…SYDNEY!

The heated moment between me and my estranged husband evaporates barely a second at the sound of our daughter rushing in, catching us by surprise.

"…BLOODY HELL!"

He's angry we are interrupted; I'm embarrassed we needed to be interrupted.

He leans forward to kiss me one last time but I turn away. And I regret this action just as quickly as it took for me to do it.

I'm embarrassed I let things get this far. He's angry because it didn't get far enough.

"Oh I see," he says with a tinge of resentment. He picks my robe 9which he flings in my direction) and his jacket from the floor,

"I'm sorry…but I…we…can't. I don't know what came over me?" I stammer, as I try to cover my shame, more than my near naked frame.

His eyes are like daggers.

I can't look at him anymore so I clear the table, busying myself as Sydney; oblivious to the tension that's now descended in the kitchen seeks her father's attention. He's deathly quiet. My nerves are a wreck, I can sense his mounting displeasure even with my back turned.

"Daddy…DADDY, look…" Sydney calls out to him in exasperation, commanding he look at her.

"What is it Poppet?" he cheerfully asks her.

I can hear the strain in keeping up his jovial façade. I can hear she's showing him her portfolio of red trees, yellow skies and green people. He compliments her artistry and she blossoms at his praise. She shows him the page with a mommy, a daddy and their two children; a little girl and boy, claiming them as her family.

"That's you and that's Mama and that's Johnny and ME!" She says.

"Really…? He says in mock surprise, which only spurs her on further.

She then goes into a dissertation of the colours she used and why she used them. I can hear his oohs and ahhs. He knows how to make everything she does seem extra special, like nobody else in the world can do it better…

Who am I kidding, Sydney is wonderful that way. Her colour choices may be questionable but the fact that she colours within the lines stands her on higher ground than any other child her age. There's coordination in everything she does, like all her tree are red and the people are different shades of green, there's no random variation. She's a true talent and I am not biased in any way. The likes of Picasso and Salvador Dali had to begin somewhere.

"Is Mama coming with us, Daddy?" her question brings me back to reality.

"I don't think so Poppet…maybe next time.

She's got other important things to do with her time!"

I did a 180 turn at that slating remark. The nerve of that man, he didn't even flinch when I looked at him. He knows more than any one that Sydney is the most important person in my life. He must know how much it hurts to have him say that, knowing it's not true but then again this is EJ Dimera. He's quite familiar with hitting below the belt.

I hold my tongue for fear of saying something in front of Sydney that I may regret later on. If he wants to act like a total ass with our daughter present, it's all on him.

"Do you have everything you will need for the zoo?" I ask Syd denying him the satisfaction of having me cause a scene. It works.

"Yes Mama, I do." She says

"Come give your Mama a kiss before you go…"

She runs into my arms and I pick up to receive the said kiss and I do the same to her while tickling her at the same time, she's just like her father! Her giggles light up the tragic atmosphere EJ and I brought with our pettiness. We both smile despite ourselves. But EJ as the injured party recovers soon enough and remembers I put him out of sorts.

"Sydney, it's time…" he says with measured coldness only I can pick up.

I put Sydney back on the floor before she runs to her father's side.

"Goodbye Mama," she says.

He ushers her out quickly before I can even think let alone wish them well.

"Say hello to Tigger for me, GOOD…bye."

They are gone.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

"Hey Nic…"

I look up from the folder in front of me to find Brady Black looking down at me.

Great, I've been avoiding him like a plague for weeks and he knows it. Now he has me cornered.

"Fancy meeting you here…" he says. He looks unimpressed.

"Brady, hi…how is…uh have you been?"

"I could ask you the same thing. I call you don't answer. I come to see and you are never home. What am I supposed to think, I thought we were friends?" he said, taking a seat from across me.

We both know why I made myself a recluse especially where he is concerned. The day he found out that I had moved out and left EJ; with Brady's temper, I glued myself to the news, buying every paper available, skimming for any news of either men ending up in hospital due to a brutal beating.

His 'I told you so' is the bitterest tonic a girl can have and Brady certainly gave me plenty that day. I know he means well but he never knows when to tone it down. Brady and EJ are the worst enemies, it's hard to believe they are blood relatives but somehow their hatred for one another knows no bounds.

The last time Brady attacked EJ, he beat him up so badly, EJ was in hospital for days. It was over a girl Brady hardly knew but he was so angry he lost his mind. So naturally I was scared when he found out I left my husband. I never told him the reason, but he has a way of figuring things out on his own. I just don't want to cause more bad blood between the cousins.

"I'm sorry; work has been hectic to say the least. I've got the elections coming next week; I've barely had time to think. EJ's ahead in the polls but not by much and I need to turn things around and this deadline is killing me."

He laughs but I can hear bitterness in his rich voice.

"You surprise me, do you know that? That bastard doesn't deserve an ounce of your time let alone your dedication and yet here you are trying very hard to get that S.O.B elected. He hurt Nic and no use denying it. I know you, but why for all that good in the world are you still working for that bastard.

You won't talk to me which leads me to believe he did something big. You never kept things from me before, so why now. You are protecting him somehow."

"Me…Protecting EJ?

…Hardly; I just don't want to be caught up in all your drama, you've been waiting for an excuse…any excuse to go after EJ and I'm sorry Brady but you are barking at the wrong tree. We are friends but I would appreciate it very much if you didn't use me to settle a score with EJ.

Yes I left EJ, I left him on my terms…I came to my senses so to speak. I thought that's what you wanted for me all along? So stop sniffing around and allow me to move on with my life. I wouldn't be working for EJ otherwise."

He remains quiet, as though measuring my words, testing their truthfulness.

"Will you ever tell me why?" he asks sombrely.

"Nope, so get used it."

"Alright…" he says.

He doesn't seem convinced but he's playing along, he peruses an order and sits quietly, tapping his finger before ordering. He's calculating his next move. Honestly I don't need Brady on my case. There is nothing I would love to do more than to walk away from EJ. Apart from remaining his publicist, something he's strong armed me into to doing, Sydney is the main reason I maintain contact.

Once the elections are over, I will have one less thing tying me to EJ Dimera. Once my job is done and he is elected mayor, I need to seriously start thinking about what to do next. I never worried before about what to do but now I have a responsibility to my daughter to support the both of us.

EJ has asked me to stay on and I have already turned him down flat. I only agreed to stay until the elections because of the short notice. He said there was no time to get someone new to take over a month from the elections. We had debates to prepare, charity events to attend and organise. I had done a superb job (his word) running his campaign as a one woman show. "Nobody else can do it better," he said. So I stayed.

"Tell me about Sydney…" he says with a fraction of a smile dancing on his lips.

I can't help but smile. It's so broad, he laughs at me.

"Now you really have to tell me, what brought that on…spill it," he says.

"Where do I start? Brady she is just so beautiful but you know that already. I learn something new about her every day. She never ceases to surprise me. She's the smartest, sweetest thing I know and I still can't believe she is mine."

"Are you kidding me look at her mother; she's talented, smart AND beautiful…."

"I hope it's me you're talking about."

Madison James, owner of Mad World, Brady's uh…what is she? He's never said anything and I've spoken with Madison on a few several occasions and neither does she put a label to whatever it is that's going on between them. They seem to enjoy this dance of skating around one another.

"Who is smart and beautiful?" she asks again.

Brady clears his throat. Suddenly he looks nervous, I smile. It's been a while since I saw this side to Brady. He's like a lost puppy and yet puts on this big man persona.

"We were talking about Sydney. Nicole was just telling me about her."

"Oh really…?" she says, looking at the both of us.

"Yes…have you ever met her?" he asks, still flummoxed by Madison.

It's like watching a helpless animal caught in a trap.

"No, I haven't had the pleasure but I hear great things, how she takes after her mother. I'm surprised it took this long for the truth to come out. Nicole I'm sure you are over the moon to have your daughter back after so long." She turns to me, relieving a stupefied Brady of having to answer any more questions.

It must be difficult, to gain your child and lose your husband.

I'm sorry did I over step…?" She asks warily.

"No, no it's fine. I am glad to have my Sydney back. As for EJ I'd rather not talk about him. I have moved on from that chapter in my life.

Did you finally succeed in that little project you were working on? I ask Madison.

Her skin flushes at my query. Madison James had been trying to get with Brady and Brady has been trying to hide his interest in Madison for just as long. The two are so blind to what's in front of them. Brady acts like an idiot and Madison turns into a cold fish whenever she's around Brady. It's like I'm the only person allowed to witness this train wreck in the making if they continue acting as they do. Neither will admit to the other the true nature of their feeling and I won't interfere. She's given him hints but he won't bite.

I have asked Brady to stay out of my personal life and I am extending that same courtesy.

I begin to pack my belongings.

"Where are you going? I haven't even received my lunch order yet." He grabs my hand like a crazed man fearing for his life.

"You forget I was here before you. I was just finishing up when you showed up. I'm sorry I can't stay…enjoy your lunch. Madison will keep you company." I say before leaving the table.

I barely make it out to the parking at Chez Rouge when Madison flags me down.

"Wait, Nicole wait. I think maybe I should apologise. I was out of line back there. I don't know what came over me? I shouldn't have mentioned your husband…I mean soon to be EX husband.

Oops, I'm doing it again. From everything that you told me, you love your husband dearly so it doesn't make sense that you would walk out on him as you did. Brady…talks about you all the time. You two must be…very close. I can tell he loves you very much. He doesn't like EJ much, does he?

I'm prying again, please stop me anytime you wish." She says blushing.

"Madison it's alright. Yeah Brady's a little OVER protective of me sometimes but it's nothing. I wish he would and I've told him a million times he shouldn't but he's stubborn. I've learnt to block him out over the years. He's like a bull dog when it comes to EJ…I wouldn't worry about me, if I were you. Brady does not and has not thought of me as anything more that a friend and I feel exactly the same.

You've got nothing to worry about."

"I wasn't worried…okay maybe just a little. Damn it, I sound like a crazy girlfriend, I'm sorry." She apologises.

This is new. I've never been in this situation before and like an amateur, I don't know whether or not I'm easing her obvious fears where Brady's concerned or fanning the flames of doubt. I have been where she is now and I've reacted worse than she has, there's no need to tell her that.

"Like I said, you have nothing to worry about. Brady and I are only friends…nothing more.

Look, I really must get going or my client is going to turn into a ghoul if I don't get this done by the end of the day." I lift my arms slightly to.

"Go back inside and uh…enjoy your working lunch. He's probably disappointed you've disappeared on him."

"Ha, I doubt he noticed." She says.

"He noticed, I can guarantee it.

See you…" I turn and walk away.

I laugh at the thought of Madison James, as a crazy girlfriend. It's amazing how things have changed. Once upon a time I was the crazy girlfriend, who am I kidding, I was the crazy wife, I held on for dear life to the man I loved and it ended disastrously. Thing changed, the love is still there but the crazy is gone thank goodness. The thought of cutting EJ's nuts did occur to me but I quickly shunned the thought.

I did burn the couch though. I dosed it in kerosene, flicked a match, stood there and watched it burn. The fire alarm went off which is how EJ found me. He quickly grabbed the fire extinguisher and the fire was thereafter put out. That was my last crazy moment because as much as he dosed the fire on that sofa he could not do the same in my heart.

That hideous sofa turned a dingy colour, blackened; it was a symbol of what my life with EJ had become. The lounge was filled with black smoke; he had to drag me out to the patio. Thankfully Sydney was at day-care. It took EJ several attempts to jar me from my catatonic state. I was in a daze. He was a ghost whose figure I can barely make out. Although he shouted my name several times, I did not hear him.

Madison James doesn't know what crazy is, I on the other hand wrote the best-seller.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

I ring the doorbell outside the Dimera mansion, Stefano's house. Sydney was spending time with her Nonno, whom she loves. Stefano and I are not the best of friends and I have never begrudged him his time with Sydney. EJ has warned me on several occasions to be wary of his father's attachment to Sydney. He has a peculiar way of making even his children uncomfortable.

I told EJ not to worry, Stefano and I have an understanding, and our positions are very clear where his granddaughter is concerned. I told EJ that if I ever feel that Stefano's overstepping his bounds, I will act decisively. One thing I will not tolerate is being badmouthed to my daughter the moment I am out of sight. It's no secret his father doesn't like me and I neither like him, so I keep my opinions to myself every time Sydney comes home from Grandpa's house and she has some story to tell about when Nonno was young.

I ring the doorbell again. Where is everybody today?

Mary eventually opens the door and lets me in.

I'm sorry about that; I was just upstairs with the little one. She went treasure hunting, we all did, and Johnny's with her right now, Miss Nicole. The children had such a wonderful time, even Harold enjoyed himself.

Come in, come in. suddenly it's a bit chilly outside." Stefano's housekeeper rambles on.

"We almost have a full house; the only person missing is Mister EJ. Even Johnny's mother is here, she and Mrs Dimera are working from home today."

That statement stops me dead at the foyer. She may as well as dunked a bucket of ice cold water over me.

Sami Brady…SAMI FREAKIN' BRADY!

"Mary, take me to Sydney…NOW!"

The thought of that woman….URGH! I can't deal with her right now.

When things begin to fall into place, Samantha Brady is always there to take from me. First it was EJ all those years ago, then Sydney. After all these years, I believed in this dream I shared with EJ. I believed we wanted the same thing. History does not bode well for me; how did I ever convince myself it would work this time? It wasn't a dream but a living nightmare.

I feel my heart racing, my palms are all sweaty. I need to get Sydney and get out of this house immediately. I don't wish to set eyes on that bottom-dweller, if I do I swear it I will kill her!

"Of course Miss Nicole, right away…" she scurries up the stairs with me following closely behind.

"Mary, I hope she's ready…"

"Don't worry, Miss Nicole. I have already bathed her. The treasure hunt was tiring for all of us. They were in the playroom eating some cookies with warm milk."

"Thank you Mary."

We found brother and sister sleeping side by side on the massive soft bean bag. They barely made it through half of their afternoon snack. Their treasure trove is sprawled all around the floor, made up of soiled toys, building block and colouring pencils.

"What did you do to them; they are out like a light. Can you take Johnny to his room, he'll be more comfortable in his own bed, at least until his father comes to get him. As for this one; I'm taking her home now."

She asks if I will not wait for EJ, to which I refuse point blank. EJ and Sami…at the same time will drive me over the edge. No Mary, I will be long gone by the time EJ returns.

I pick up my sleepy angel from the bag and make for the door.

"Don't worry about her things, I will bring them down for you," she says.

"Thanks again Mary for watching her for me. You're a lifesaver."

Now if I can just make it out this house in one piece. Kate is in the living room working with her new "wunderkind", she's really lost her mind. What is Sami good at except bulldozing everything in sight? I am surprised she's being this naïve where hiring is concerned.

Why should I care? Why would it bother me if Sami ruins Kate's company or not, she's not family and even when she was; she made her feelings towards me clear. Let her drown in the cesspool that is Sami Brady.

My hand was just inches away from the door handle before a familiar voice rang in my ear.

"Leaving so soon?"

Hearing her voice grates at my nerves.

Sami.

"I said…leaving so soon?" she reiterates, which only makes things worse.

"I don't have time to deal with the trash," I say.

"Oh Nicole, is that the way to speak about yourself. EJ finally took out the trash and I must say he's looking all the better for it," she smirks.

"I'm sorry you had to find out that your husband is a lying cheating son of a bitch…no actually I'm not." she says.

"I wish you could have seen us, seen EJ that night. He was so passionate. I never knew he could do the things he did. It was unforgettable."

Urgh, I bite back the tears I know are sure to come. She's goading me, provoking to get a reaction. She is so transparent…

"You sad, pathetic excuse for a human being; it must really chafe you down to you core (since you have no heart) knowing that your sister stole your 'loving' husband from under your nose; that yet again Samantha Brady was foiled by her beautiful sister because from the moment she returned from Switzerland sans Austin, Rafe was a goner.

Tell me again Sami, how many men have you lost, Shall we count the ways?

So what about EJ, has he been knocking on your door every night, spewing the bile that's gets you hot and bothered. Has he professed his undying love for you, told you you're the ONLY woman he loves…that he wants YOU as his wife, as mother to his two children? Has he done even one of those things? I'll bet you haven't even set eyes on him since your supposed night of passion and when was that fateful night again?

As his publicist, I am aware of every move he makes, his every minute of every hour of every day, you are not even a blip on his radar. Goodness knows why you're even in this house when nobody here likes you.

Not only have you lost ALL your men, you've lost ALL your children too. The only thing you have is that witch with a blue streak in her hair and how long do you think this little truce of yours is going to last before Kate the Bitch comes after your sorry ass? …Because you know that's coming.

You are like a walking time bomb ready to self destruct at the first misstep and considering your dumb emotional instability I would tread carefully from now on. Stay out of my way and Roman and the rest of the Police-R-Not-Us won't have to fish for your body parts in the sewer, where you belong!"

She backs down…coward!

"MARY, BRING MY DAUGHTER'S THINGS DOWN HERE NOW!

It's never a pleasure, as always."

I reposition Sydney a bit better, her weight barely bringing me down. Knowing that no matter what, Sami is nothing but gum under my shoe and will remain there always lightens my day. I didn't know what to expect of our first meeting, I never thought she would make things easy for me. She tried to rub it in my face that EJ and I had split due to their dalliance. I'm glad I had Sydney with me, reminding me to be strong. I didn't want to give that whore the satisfaction of knowing how much EJ hurt me.

I can take anything she dishes out and give it back ten fold.

If Sami Brady thinks she can mess with me, she's got another thing coming. I'm not going to roll over and play dead to satisfy her sick and twisted view of reality. I am not that same woman who took a one way trip to crazy town. She on the other hand is still the juvenile twit I met over a decade ago.

"Mama…?" Sydney stirs from her slumber.

"It's alright sweetheart, I'm taking you home."

"I found the treasure, me and Johnny…" she says, still dazed from sleeping.

"I know you did, I'm so proud of you!" I kiss her forehead.

"Miss Nicole, I'm sorry I took so long. I was just putting Johnny into bed as you suggested."

Sami gives me the evil eye after hearing Mary's report.

"…Stay away from my child, you drunken bitch!"

"Ooh…nice one Sami, how mature of you. I'm tempted to stay and listen to you embarrass yourself some more but I do have better things to do with my time."

I open the door and find EJ standing on the other side.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8:

"Nicole…" he smiles.

He actually seems happy to see me. The way he called out my name like a lifetime ago. His eyes literally lit up the moment he saw me.

"You are not leaving are you?"

"Yes, in fact we are. I just came to pick up Sydney. I'll be on my way…" I rush over my words

"DADDY!" screams Sydney, joyfully as she wriggles in my arms; fully awake. She turns towards her father who obliges and scoops her into his arms.

"Hello Darling, have you been a good little girl?" He asks while forcing me back into the foyer, blocking my exit

She nods in reply.

"Did you have fun with your Nonno?"

"Yes we did. We went treasure hunting. It was so much fun, Daddy." she says.

"I'm sure it was. Where's your treasure?"

She points to the bag held conspicuously by Mary.

"Thank you Mary that will be all."

He gestures that she give him Sydney's bag, which she hands over immediately and disappears from sight.

"Can I tell you a secret?" he continues, focusing all his attention on Sydney.

"Daddy's on his own treasure hunt. Did you know that? (No)

He lost something really, REALLY important to him and he desperately wants it back. Can you help Daddy? Can you help me find my treasure since you were so good in finding yours?" he asks her barely looking in my direction.

He's addressing our daughter but I know the words are directed at me.

"…Mmm Hmm…" Sami clears her throat, making her presence known.

He turns in the direction of Sami and immediately a scowl shrouds his features. He's clearly surprised by her presence.

"What the hell are YOU doing here?" There's even an edge in his voice. "I asked you a question!" he says to her.

"Nicole and I were conversing rather nicely, sadly she had to run. I have so much to say to her."

He glares at her.

"I suggest you shut it and run along to your Mistress, if you know what's good for you!"

"Calm down, no need to get yourself in a twist; I'm only here to work. However, I find I rather like the scenery. It beats the stuffy lifeless room Kate insists on using away from the office. I needed some fresh air and I heard the doorbell ring and I wanted to see who it was. It's all innocent I promise.

It's Nicole that resorted to name-calling and insults. Like I said, I'm innocent."

"…Innocent my ass.

Look, as riveting as this situation is right now, I don't want to be caught in the middle. As much as I would love stay and trade insults with you both, I don't have the energy for that. I came here for Sydney and now we are leaving."

"Please don't go, Nicole…?"

His words do nothing for me, they've become like static, nothing but background noise. He perceives that I am not moved.

"Samantha, do you mind?" he points to the door behind her but she ignores the hint.

And somehow he still wonders why I refuse to take him back.

It is either he takes me for a fool or he's completely ignorant of the effect this woman has on me. I lost my mind the first time round, when Sami came between us. He took me for granted, ignored my feelings where she was concerned, always telling me that my insecurities were exactly that.

He could never convince me that my feelings were unfounded; it wasn't for lack of trying on his part. EJ was so transparent back then. It was as if he wanted her around without any actual verbal expression, and of course that was a total nightmare. I endured far more than was healthy because I loved him and he just didn't care.

Losing my baby drove me to the edge. But what I eventually did with Sydney, the lying and the deception, no one is to blame but me but his refusal to cut all ties with Sami pushed me over. I thought after all these years he understood, that he finally got it but I was wrong.

He wants me to stay but he won't ask her to leave. He can't have it both ways and I don't think as his wife I need to tell him that. EJ, as a husband, should know without me saying anything at all.

"Samantha, don't you have more pressing business to attend?

I'm certain the world of cosmetics is hanging by a tether every second you waste out here with matters that don't concern you. Kate needs you; all women across the globe need you and your worldly expertise.

Millions are probably aghast with horror right this minute, seeing as to the fact that you're out here instead of in there doing very important work worthy of your skills and talents; the hardship of choosing the varying shades of the same thing, contributing tremendously to the advancement of mankind.

Without you, how will they survive?

Go now!" he urges her condescendingly.

"I don't like your condescending tone. I would be little nicer to me if I were you, EJ." she says while huffing in blighted ego.

Why have I wasted time standing here instead of leaving? Seeing them together in one place is making me physically ill. I have clawed her eyes out, gutted her in about a million different ways since I set eyes on her several minute ago. It already feels like a lifetime of pure torture.

EJ…I want to rip his heart out as he has mine, to make him feel the exact same level of misery, pain, hurt and anger I feel right now, knowing how much I love him and be helpless to change it.

I hate him so very much, I can't look at him. I swore to never fall into that awful pit of despair I once was quite familiar with after I lost my Sydney (twice). Every damn day is a struggle and a half, to wake and not hate him…to wake and not love him. I long for the day I will be free of EJ Dimera.

"Give me Sydney, I'm leaving!"

"You aren't leaving so soon?" he asks suddenly fearful, at least I think that's what he looks like, scared but what of?

"That's right Nicole, run along. You aren't needed here anymore. You aren't a member of this family now that you've seen EJ for who he really is. It's a shame you played the fool for so long, blinded by your so called love, to see the truth staring you in the face.

"Shut it Samantha, go back to Kate and play with your make-up kit!" he says to her.

"Don't go; at least not yet. Stay a while,' he says to me. "I didn't think I would make it back in time…I missed both my girls terribly today." He says and then kisses the top of Sydney's curls.

"Oh puh-lease, give me a break!" says the crass, classless imp.

I am going to be sick; I can already taste the bile in my mouth, hot and putrid!

"Why do you bother EJ? Nicole is nothing but a slut that hit the jackpot."

I said to myself I would let her get to me but I can't help it. I walked towards that baboon and slapped her hard. There's only so much I can take.

She laughs; this midget whore actually has the audacity to laugh.

"She doesn't love you, she's been using you this entire time and now she has what she's really wanted and you are holding her. She's never cared for anyone except herself. She dumped Brady for a baby, and now she's dumped you now that Sydney is hers legally.

She doesn't need…"

EJ interrupts her speech.

"SHUT UP OR GET OUT!" he shouts, scaring Sydney, who's suddenly wary of the tension in the air.

I move to take her from him seeing how angry he's becoming. I don't want her hurt, caught in the middle of all this ugliness but he deflects me.

"I won't warn you again." He says with quite malice. "Get out you cold worthless, dim witted bitch. Clearly you are the dumbest person to walk the face of the earth or else you would have the wisdom to find yourself else where, where the very essence of your existence is not dangling in front of a ravenous beast. Test me Samantha and see how far I will go to right all my wrongs.

If it wasn't for my little girl here, Johnny would no longer have a mother living.

Get out Samantha and no I don't mean go back to Kate. You've worn my patience; your time here is ended. I tolerated you long enough, to my detriment but no more. Nicole IS my wife, she's been true to me since the day I met her and I was the fool to allow the likes of you within a thousand miles of me.

This is MY home, and you are NOT welcome to set foot here ever again. You work for Kate; she has an office…USE IT!

So get out! Get out before I am so mad I forget I'm holding Sydney in my arms; before I forget that Johnny loves you and you're his mother!"

"…EJ…" she whimpers.

GET OUT! " he repeats viciously.

Like the snake she is, Sami Brady does the smart thing for once and slithers away. And for the first time since I walked into this house this afternoon, I can finally breathe; but I'm not in the clear just yet.

"I'm sorry about that," he apologises and turns to face me.

"Are you crying?" he asks, surprised.

"No!" I blink away the last tearful threat, quickly enough. "No I'm not; besides, I have cried my last tears over you EJ. It is long overdue that I move on."

"You're still leaving?"

"Yes."

We stand there quietly, commiserating on the complete breakdown of everything between us.

He is the first to finally speak, "Sydney, remember that Daddy loves you very much, okay? And I will see you soon, my little Princess. Go with Mama…" he says with enough tragedy to rival Shakespeare.

"No, no…you…can keep her for a few more hours, it is fine. You miss her and I know she misses you; she would appreciate it very much if you did spend time together."

He begins to say something but chooses not to and I don't ask. It's no longer my job to know EVERYTHING he thinks and I am fine with it.

I hold my daughter's face in both my hands, speaking only to her, "Sydney…Mama, will see you soon okay? You are going to have such a great time with your Daddy, this afternoon. You can show him your treasure chest, you and Johnny together. How does that sound?"

"YAY!" she screams.

Her happiness lightens my sombre mood…albeit slightly. I can't speak for Elvis. He still hasn't said much of anything when I said I was still leaving. His face which I used to be able to read like a good book is now cloudy. We are becoming strangers…I should be happy but deep inside, I am saddened instead. This is not how I pictured my life two months ago.

Two months ago I was deliriously happy and in love, looking forward to spending the rest of my life wit this man. Today, all of my dreams are shattered into a million and one pieces; to damn small to piece back together even if I tried. Neither I nor EJ can fix things now. I thought he loved me and to realise that I was wrong was the rudest awakening I ever had.

The bitterness of our first time together is seeping back into my heart despite all efforts to keep it at bay.

Sami and EJ…three words I have feared for as long as I have known real love or what I thought was real love.

"Goodbye EJ."

"Goodbye…" he says.

And after an awkward moment of looking at one another, we part ways.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9:

"Are you even listening to me? We need to pull out all the stops if you are to win this election. Conceding the last debate doesn't sit well with me at all. Our numbers aren't looking at all too good. Our lead has been slashed by about 35% making us on par with Abe.

I still can't believe how underhanded those two were. Who would ever believe that Abe AND Jennifer were capable of this?

My contact emailed me the original questions after I gave him a verbal beat down after that disaster yesterday. He swears he gave me the right ones I guess somehow Abe and Jennifer circumvented the delivery because we definitely had the wrong questions." I say.

He's looking pensive even a little miffed and it's only Tuesday morning, sitting from across me in the boardroom of his office building. I thought at least having his morning coffee would shake him to the present morose mood but nothing.

EJ has certainly made my job difficult. When he asked me to be his campaign manager, he said that he wanted to win at all cost. And since then we've had quite an uneventful race, except for a few things here and there. We did pretty well in stealing Abe's thunder throughout the campaign but yesterday came as a complete utter shock to us both.

Usually EJ would either be raring to go, firing on all cylinders or he'd be down in the pits. The last time I saw him this way was when John was exonerated of embezzlement. I swear I have never seen him more grumpy and petulant than that morning. Today is similar but at least less jarring.

"I still want to know how my idiot brother-in-law managed to dupe us. It's so unlike him…so unlike us to fall prey."

"Who cares how he did it, the point I'm trying to make here is that he did. It seems he's willing to roll around in the mud and get dirty along with the rest of us and I take that as clearance that we can go full throttle to make sure you win, no holds barred. Do you understand?

This fight is dirty and we need to hold nothing back. Abe thrives on being the moral soundboard as a former cop, commander or whatever he was a lifetime ago. People trust him to be honest to have their best interest at heart. He broke the rules during that debate and if he broke those rules what others has he broken that the good citizens of Salem don't know about?"

"What are you getting at?" he asks.

"I'm saying we need to bring down Abe Carver from up high of that horse of his. When he was chief of police or commander hell even as mayor how many crimes did he actually cover up or turn a blind eye to because it involved the people he is close to like the Brady's in particular.

Sami shot you and Brady almost killed you and nothing was done about it."

"Didn't you plead for Brady's life at some stage after I remembered that it was him that attacked me?"

"Yes I did and I am grateful you listened to me but we are not talking about you or Brady, I'm talking about what the Salem Police Department did to cover it up because it was one of their own, the son of John Black. They also tried to pin the attacks on prostitutes on you, had Gus not tried to pin the whole debacle on Quinn, I promise you, you would have been first on that suspect list. You could be rotting in jail as we speak (hardly likely with his connections)

Should I even mention your Rafael Hernandez double…Honey they got their hands dirty and I can bet every dime I have that Abe knew it all. He ignored all the things that fell through the cracks because the Brady Police are involved, something as big as any of what I mentioned would raise flags but nothing, nothing but silence, just another day in Salem."

He looks up at me, suddenly interested. A smile crosses his lips and I realise why.

"You called me "Honey"," he says a bit more lively.

"It was a mistake, I wasn't thinking. I certainly didn't mean it." I try to turn away from his piercing eyes, but he holds me prisoner.

"I think you did. I am certain you meant everything you said."

"Well it was nothing and of everything I said is that all you heard. You were literally spaced out a minute ago. We need to move fast here, Thursday is D-Day. We need to get you ahead of Abe before then we can't leave it to chance."

"You are avoiding the real issue here, you and me…me and you…US!"

"…Nonsense, I'm not avoiding you; I am however trying to do my job in getting you elected." I busy myself with a file of…oh who cares? He's doing it again; wearing me down. I made the mistake of forgetting all that he put me through and now like a dog with a bone he won't let it go.

"Yes you are; you can't even look me in the face…tell the truth, now."

"EJ…we don't have time for this…"

"We've got plenty of time."

He looks as me with such desire my every thought vanishes without a trace.

NO, NO, NO! I can't keep letting him do this. Sometimes…just sometimes he's like this, hot and sexy undressing me with his eyes and unashamed to do so; in fact revelling in being caught, talking pleasure at my expense.

"What would you do if I kissed you right now?" he boldly asks.

"I'd sue you for sexual harassment and win!"

"Ouch Darling, that hurts."

"I told you never to call me that, no more Darling or Sweetheart or whatever I am NOT that person anymore. We are officially separated (you signed our marriage away)." I point out to him.

"I'm only returning the favour so to speak. You may choose to shut me out of your life but deep down inside you know we still belong together. All this time we spent together, you wanted me as much as I wanted you."

"Bullshit, you forced me to stay on because you couldn't afford to look bad to the public, not this close to the elections anyway. You needed me to stay on as your PR person because people would no doubt question my resignation and that would lead to more questions. You are afraid of being found out.

The house I live in, don't believe for a second I don't know you played a role in me getting it. It's in a well to do area where big shot business tycoons and politicians hide their deepest darkest secrets (ironic isn't it?). I have your number EJ Dimera. I know the games you're still playing with me.

I moved out of our home to exactly where you want me. My neighbours won't talk about the wife of the mayoral candidate who is living in a separate house to that of her husband's because they have their own skeletons to hide from the rest of the world. You may think you have me where you want but you don't."

I have shocked him. He is silent. I didn't expect that kind of reaction.

"You are master manipulator and I think it appropriate to put my cards on the table; don't use me or my feelings for you ever again. I don't like it and I neither enjoy it. I am NOT holding out some candle for you, that time in my life is long dead."

"Then why are you here, why are you still working for me knowing what you know?" he asks.

"Because when I took this job, I took it in great faith; I wanted to do more than just a good job by getting you elected. Getting back with you was the furthest thing from my mind, I wanted to prove something to myself, and to the rest of Salem that Nicole Walker was more that just a money-grabbing bitch with a dodgy past, always willing to sell herself to the highest bidder."

"Stop it, you are none of those things at least you weren't with me," he says, his face a little bit flushed from excitement but not the good kind.

"Then stop treating me like I have nothing in here (my head) and nothing in here (my heart). Stop playing me like I am your own personal violin."

"I'm confused then, you say I am manipulating you but you're still here."

"What can I say, I like the challenge. This is more than just getting you into office; I have just as much invested in you winning this election as you do.

And the house you so conveniently hand picked for me, Sydney is starting to love it. She likes the flowers in the front yard, she says they remind her of the rainbow and you know what I like them too. We are finally making friends (at least Sydney is making friends) with some of our neighbours and I'm not so keen to be completely rid of you at the expense of my little girl to more uncertainty. So yes EJ, you win this round but please don't mistake it for the whole war.

I would prefer not to fight you at all but if you insist on pushing me like you do, I may just get into the ring with you."

He looks stricken. I steel myself against this new wave. His desire for me isn't my only weakness against him. EJ has hurt me in the worst way but I can't help feeling like a bad guy every time I stand my ground. I AM NOT THE BAD GUY HERE! He betrayed me…us and I'm not going to feel guilty for finally seeing through the rose tinted glasses and finally having some dignity to walk away because the man I loved didn't…doesn't feel the same.

But have I truly walked away?

He did raise a valid question…why am I still working for him, knowing everything that he's done…doing to me? Everything I said was the truth but why stick around anyway. I have every right to walk out this building and never look back, to leave him in the lurch and destroy what ever chance he still has of winning?

In spite of EVERYTHING I am still here in more ways than I am perhaps willing to explain even to myself.

"Can we finally get back to work, that's what we need to focus on, anything personal is completely off limits; do you understand me?

Speak now EJ or this little arrangement of ours ends two days before your big day and you lose.

Do we work and go after Abe, expose him for the liar he is and win these elections, or will you play by continuing to harass me, disregarding the fact that we are no longer together (because of you), make me so uncomfortable I have to quit (something I surprisingly don't want to do)?

It's your choice whether I stay or I go.

Choose!"

We look at each other for a moment. He's sizing me up to see if I will live up to my threat. He hates being threatened, it exposes his loss of control over a situation and there's nothing he hates more than not being in control…well too bad!

I can see the wheel turning; he's struggling between giving me what I want and his natural instinct.

"Okay, you win.

What do you want from me?" he eventually concedes.

What an amazing thing to behold.

"Since you've never been officially accused of any of the horrible things you've done, I take it what the police lack in brains is only outdone by their lack of evidence against you, but we are not talking about you; we are talking about our former Commissioner. What about what the police have done or I should say haven't done, particularly the two Bradys and their sidekick Farty Face Hope Williams to thwart justice due you.

Sami shot you in cold blood but that case was D.O.A. because her father and uncle are high up in the SPD. That alone is enough to cast a shadow across Abe's spotless resume. However one overlooked crime even two is not enough to win, we need to show a LONG trail of Abe's abhorrent disregard for the law because someone he knew committed that crime was a personal friend."

"Again what do you want from me?"

"I want you to open the treasure trove of yours and bring out all the skeletons you have, not only to win the election by humiliating upstanding uptight Abe Carver but you get an opportunity to bring down the Bradys in one fell swoop!


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10:

"Can We Trust Abe Carver as Mayor?" the headline reads.

"How very succinct of you…" I commend him.

We are working late after a long day of compiling a list of Abe Carver, incumbent Mayor of Salem's "misdeeds" Candice Simpson, EJ's favourite writer has the honour of exposing how dishonest Honest Abe really is.

"Are you sure we can trust her?" I ask my…EJ.

Damn it, I need to stop thinking of him as MY anything. EJ is no longer my husband, no longer my lover. We are professionally linked and Sydney is truly the only thing left between us and that's where it stops. I reprove myself for the lapse in keeping him at bay.

"Darling, if she knows what's good for her…"

"I thought I told you never to call me that ever again. You and I are more than just through, we're DIVORCED. So please refrain from trying to raise my blood to boiling by insisting on something I very much hate right now." I rebuke him but in true fashion he ignores me.

"Sweetheart…don't you give that look. And please, no more threatening to quit because we both know you don't want to do that. You are my Sweet and I love you, I have never stopped not even for a second. It's your prerogative to continue to refuse to hear me out and give us another try and so I only figured I should return the favour and not pay any heed to your objection." he says in that lawyer tone of his, which only drives me even crazier than I am already.

"Now as I was saying, Candice knows better than to cross me…Darling."

He stresses the last word just for my benefit. I take a second to let the moment pass without me descending into a raging banshee, giving him more leverage to continue in this manner. I need to show my…EX husband that I have or the very least I am moving away from feeling anything for him. EJ loves to take satisfaction in stirring people into doing things they soon regret. I am not his puppet as he is not my master.

"Suit yourself…" I say and return my eyes back to the article in my hands, doing everything I can to stay focused on the task before me.

"She knows better than to double cross us. It is the furthest thing from her mind. Candice knows not to shit where she eats, pardon my French. Plus I did want to proof read every word she wrote before it goes anywhere near the printers. She may be in my pocket but that doesn't mean I have to blindly trust the woman. Her father features prominently in this jewel that you hold in your hands. Abraham will not know what hit him.

We are doing more than sowing doubts in the people of Salem, we are destroying a man's reputation, my sister's husband…" he says.

"Which brings me to my other question, whether or not you still want to continue with this? There is still time to back off…for Lexi…for your family's sake?"

I don't want to sound as though I am worried but it would be remiss of me to not point out the possibility of the minor spat between brother and sister growing exponentially now that he's decided to go after Abe's character. EJ has a habit of leaping without so much as a glance either to his left or his right let alone looking at what's in front of him.

"Nicole…we go ahead as planned. I am going to win this election and I will do everything in my power to make sure I win.

I love Lexi and she loves me; that will never change regardless. This has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with my feelings for my sister and I can assure you once the election is over with Lexi will come around. In the mean time let's focus on the business at hand, shall we?" he says.

He's been singing that particular tune for months now, I don't think he grasps the gravity of his actions, me on the other hand…I don't care so much. I have had years of warding off any feelings related to being rejected. You don't live the life I have and not grow effectual thick skin against any and every attack. EJ on the other hand he wears his heart on his sleeve where his family's concerned. It is his Achilles' heel.

He looks at me, practically commanding me with his eyes to not pursue this Lexi matter any further.

"What truly do we know of Mr Carver, our Mayor? Is it merely enough that he's run our city sufficiently that we should entrust him with yet another term in office? Or are we so comfortable with the status quo that the missed opportunity to diligently peer into the man himself no longer seems applicable or better yet necessary at this stage?

Mr Carver stepped into office not through votes won but through his opponent's untimely death. The lack of due process paved his way into the position he now finds himself, at the threshold of yet another term. For but a while he had no opposition, no one to challenge his governance, no one to hold him accountable for not living up to promises made until now.

Mr Dimera has nominated himself as a candidate to counter Mr Carver. whatever you may think of the opposition at the moment, this article is not about Mr Elvis Dimera, who's family history we are well versed. The spotlight today falls on our current mayor…on the man, not the politician.

When you meet a person for the first time, it is a general rule to first introduce yourselves then in typical fashion; you share a little bit of personal your history to build a common a foundation of trust.

So who is Abraham Washington Carver? His resume is impressive no doubt; he's a respected former police officer, Chief of Police, a husband and father. But that are all surface attributes. You never really know a person until you see them at their worst, how they react under circumstances outside of their control, when the pressure to break is on.

Our police are trained not only to serve and protect but to be upholders of more than just a code but the law. If the law is broken, justice must be meted out but what happens when justice is perverted. I know you must be asking what has any of this to do with our mayor; it has everything to do with him.

We are the choice we make and a series of choices creates habits and habits create character. Mr Carver joined the police as an idealistic young man driven to see justice carried out to the letter to those who strove to bend it at every turn. His late brother Theo Carver died under tragic circumstances, this served to influence the path young Abe would take.

Driven to find his brother's killer he was partnered with an Office Cory Simpson. They quickly became close, closer even than most brothers could ever hope. Records show that one night the officers were called out to duty because of a disturbance. In the ensuing chaos an innocent young man died in the crossfire, the consequences of being at the wrong place at the wrong time.

The specifics of how he died are unclear; to say that there are holes in the report is an understatement. According to the report both officers discharged their weapons several times but upon closer examination one bullet in particular was unaccounted for by Officer Carver. His partner Officer Simpson thereafter fell into a debilitating depression accentuated but an addiction to an illegal substance.

Why would a promising man who had a bright future in the Force, happily married with two young children deteriorate in the manner expressed as severely as Officer Simpson suffer in the manner he did. Many who knew him spoke of a guilt he felt over something but he never said what it was.

All the while Officer Carver was fully dedicated in finding his brother's killer, exhausting every available avenue he had, including his so called friend/brother. It later became obvious to Officer Carver that his partner through a series of bad decisions found himself at the mercy of a known crime lord, who exploited the now disenchanted officer of the law.

Officer Carver knew of his friend's falling prey to a world of crime, as an officer of the law and as a so called friend, rather than save his Simpson from this new life of wretchedness, brought on by Officer Carver's own unrepentant actions, he allowed his friend to continue spiralling downwards into a world of crime because of the man he believed was his brother's killer.

Officer Carver was fully aware of the situation with his partner but chose not to act because the time wasn't right. By the time he sprung into action, alerted his superiors of the situation, it was too late. Officer Simpson had gone off the deep end. A man lost his life, widowing his wife and leaving his two children without a father because Office Craver didn't stand for justice when it was needed the most.

It was cowardice to kill a young man and have your friend cover for you. It was for revenge that he stood by and watched or better yet fed this very same friend to a monster. A man died and Officer Carver received a commendation of the highest honour."

I stop reading right there to look at EJ, he's looking at me intently which only causes me to flush at so honest a perusal. "Get your head straight Nikki," I say to myself.

"Is any of this true?" I ask him shocked by the very first few paragraph of what is so far a damaging piece.

"Of course Darling, what do you take me for?" he says cockily but I'm inclined not to believe him, he is a Dimera after all.

"Don't stop reading Nikki, there's more. By this time tomorrow, Abe's world will have crumbled; all aspirations to remain Mayor of Salem will have crashed and burned. I guarantee it!" he says gleefully.

I do as he commands and return my attention back to the words before me. there is Story after story about how Abe circumvented the law to not only suit himself but his friends, Roman Brady and John Black, including a very detailed tail about how He, his partner at the time (his current wife) Lexi and John broke a well known criminal (Stefano Dimera)out of prison to save Roman.

The article continues to tear Abe's character to shreds, pointing to discrepancies in his job as either officer or as the Chief; certain cases being closed under dubious circumstances, suspects dying under his watch on more than one occasion, Arnold Feniger (second Ralf) being just one.

What shocks me the most is that both EJ and I are mentioned and not just in passing. Other than Officer Simpson and the Carvers, the Bradys and Blacks every other name is changed.

"WILL WAS THE SHOOTER!?" I scream at him but he just sits there and tells me to keep reading.

The article specifies that a minor of the arrested suspect was the actual shooter of EJ Dimera in 2007, his name is never mentioned but I surmise everyone else affected by this story will soon enough know the truth. This section details the incompetence of the Salem PD and how after Lucas confessed the investigation was shut down even though his story had holes big enough to swallow a whole galaxy. The ballistic report in itself was enough to clear Lucas, things like the bullet slug dug out of EJ's back not matching Lucas's gun (the thought of EJ hurt somehow sends chills down my spine) and the trajectory not as described by Lucas.

EJ's second shooting also features but in less respect compared to the first. I don't understand why he glossed over this part when everything else was so graphic. I stop myself from delving too deeply at his possible reason for not feeding Sami to the wolves as he's done to Will even though the public will never know it was will who shot EJ the first time.

Brady Black and his taking the 'law' into his own hands, is also mentioned. What will be shocking will be the efforts of the Salem PD in obstructing justice. They knew who attacked EJ but never acted on it because he was the son of one of the prominent members of Salem's Society.

And finally Nicole Dimera's name and her story grace those damning pages. The detailing is chilling to say the least. Somehow EJ managed to have my life story splattered in all its ugliness. The details of my life with Paul and Fay is candidly dealt with, Abe's role in my horror version of the American family, leading all the way to my mother's death sans the Dimera's true involvement (Typically). Gus also makes an appearance to drive home the point made in the first few paragraphs of this paper.

This will more than beat the point of Abe's lack of character into the minds of his voters it will clobber them instead.

"Who is Abe Carver?

In clear conscience, should he then remain in his position of power, you decide."

I chance a glance at EJ, he hasn't moved; his eyes are still locked onto me.

"We can leave that last part out if you want?" he says quietly.

"I can leave you out completely," he declares.

"NO, no it's alright. We want to win and there's nothing here about me that is not public knowledge. I am certain if you are…"

We look once more at each other trying to peel away the masks the divorce has undoubtedly placed.

"If we do this, know that there is no turning back. You are opening a can of worms that will devour this town and send it into chaos."

"Everything written in there is the truth give or takes an embellishment here and there. Simpson did her homework and I have compensated her well enough to keep her exactly where I have her."

"I still can't believe what I read, and this Will business why didn't you tell me?" I ask as my mind replays the images invoked by simple ink on a blank paper.

"You didn't ask and I allowed you as well as everybody else to continue thinking that it was Lucas who shot me and I know this doesn't make sense but I do in fact understand the lengths William went to for his family, I would be a hypocrite if I did otherwise."

"So you admire him, is that why the anonymity?"

I take his silence as confirmation even though it doesn't make any sense. It's not like EJ to be merciful without there being something in it for him but what?

"Do we go to print?" he asks me.

"This is the point of no return…"

I walk up to him and hand him my cell phone.

"Congratulations Mr Mayor for your landslide victory!"


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11:

"Let's celebrate…" he says as he opens a chilled bottle of vintage Dom Perignon, year 1998.

Before I can protest, he thrust the Champaign into my hand.

"EJ…it's already late and Sydney…"

"…is with her grandfather. We said we were going to late tonight…and tomorrow night. You're still on the clock."

"I don't think busting out some bubbly counts as being on the clock." I correct him.

"Nicole what sort of boss am I if I deny my most valuable employee the chance to know how much I appreciate a job well done, very well done. This is in celebration of that. You have practically bagged this election for me…"

"Me…? I haven't done a thing. This was you and Candy!"

"Not at all, it's you who kept me going when I lost all desire for this election race. I can't even count the number of times I wanted to just given in but you…You kept me going, kept fighting for this campaign…for us."

"Us…EJ, there is no us."

He steps up to me, a little too close but I overcome my instinct to run and stand my ground. He steps a little closer and the fluttering in my belly goes to overdrive.

"I beg to differ. Who was it that spearheaded the countermeasures against Abe, where job creation, eradicating crime (funny) was involved? Who dragged me to all those charity events, facilitation the building of Rec Centres in under-privileged neighbourhoods, spending millions of dollars of Dimera money making sure that EVERYBODY knew; Dimeras mean business? Who went toe to toe with miss goody-two-shoes and shutting her trap while making me look good…ME, A FREAKING DIMERA!?

It's all you, you made these people think differently about me, to see more than just my dastardly family name.

So drink up, you earned this moment to shine. When Salem goes to the polls and cast their ballots, each cross next to my name is a vote for you. It's because of you I came this far." He says with such intensity.

"To US…" he lifts his full glass to a breath away from mine.

"To us," I say uneasily, tipping my glass to meet his.

A while later he bursts into roaring laughter, filling the room with the magical sound. We moved our party of two into the lavish office lounge in search of something to eat.

"I can't believe that…no in fact I can. I wish was there to see that, my Nikki trample all over that little shit who thought he was all that. That certainly taught him never to mess with you ever again." he says, still laughing.

We were sitting side by side on the floor, leaning against one of the sofas. Evidence of our 'dinner' sprawled across in front of us. It was all so strange and nice at the same time. EJ and I haven't done anything like this in a long time, where we talked. It's like we are just beginning to learn about each other. I have said things I have never shared with anyone before…ever; maybe it's the alcohol talking. We opened yet another bottle from his expensive collection.

"I don't think it's that funny, I was so vicious he didn't ever speak to another girl all the way through high school, not only his friends but the entire school thought he was gay and as a football jock that was a death sentence back then." I say as I down the last contents of our wine.

"I say it's just desserts Darling, this Todd messed with the wrong girl. You are more than just a pretty face; you're fierce and loyal to the T. I have never known anyone better. I love your tenacity to fight for those close to you; your friend is a perfect example. You were how old thirteen…fourteen and you took on someone clearly bigger than you let alone older.

This friend of yours…Michelle, I have never heard you speak of her before. From what you've said you were very close. What happened?" he asks his tone a little more serious.

"We were…we had so much in common, I don't want to get into it but she was my first real friend. She looked out for me as much as I did her."

We are quiet for a while, my mind flashes back to a time long forgotten.

"Do you want to tell me about it, you look like you were a million light-years away and I can see something is weighing on your mind?" he says.

We were sharing on some of the mischief from our past. I told him what I did to this boy, my brother's age. How I exposed him to the entire school for the coward he was and posted the video on prom night. It was deliciously wicked (according to EJ) but I left out the reason why I did what I did.

"Something is wrong…telling me?" he pushes.

"I remember our first day at highschool, Brandon was at least a year ahead of me, he did everything he could to make things easier for me; he didn't know but I knew he sensed that something was bothering me.

Nobody knew what Paul had done (was doing); nobody except her. It turned out she had a Paul of her own but unlike me her mother wasn't blind or docile. When Mrs Vincent found out what her husband did, she packed all their belongings and moved into our neighbourhood. I think I was twelve then. When we started highschool, that's when Michelle finally came out and asked me point blank, I didn't deny it.

We argued in the beginning but what could I do? What could she do? She wanted me to tell my mother, Brandon …anybody really but…I don't know. Her mother knew what was happening and acted so why not mine? Fay knew, she pretended as though nothing was wrong, I mean come on we weren't exactly the Brady Bunch here. Taylor was spared the misery; Brandon wasn't worth caring for and Fay…

When that ass tried to rape my only friend I had to do something, so I did."

Now the mood has changed. I don't like the direction of this conversation but EJ always manages to draw me out of myself.

"So what happened where is this Michelle?"

I can hear in his tone he knows the answer to that question. I don't want to say any more but I need to somehow. Remembering my friend, the one and only good thing about my childhood is overwhelming but I soldier on. I must unburden everything.

"That year, was the best year of my life. Mic and I were closer than any two sisters. We shared everything together, did everything as a pair, you'd have a more difficult time separating us than you would conjoin twins. Months after Todd Galecki's public humiliation, I found out Mic was sick, really sick. She had cancer and it was too late to do anything worthwhile to save her.

She stopped coming to school, as did I. I wanted to be where she was. Those last few weeks were the most horrible experience of my life. She was in so much pain and I couldn't help her. She always said I would go far, conquer the world since I was not only prettier than she, but I was definitely stronger of the two of us but she was wrong. She stood up to Paul for me this one time and that was the first time I saw him for what he was…a bigger version of Todd…a real coward and my little friend fought for me.

After a while Fay found out I was skipping school and forced Brandon to watch me like a hawk. I had never been as alone as I was then. I was more than lost when I walked the school hallways alone. And even outside of school I barely saw her, her mother didn't want me coming around. I think even Michelle didn't want me to see her. The cancer had left her so emaciated; she used to cry about how ugly she was when she was the most beautiful person I had ever known. So I stopped going over to her house thinking she would miss me so much that she would call me back.

She never did. Her mother decided to visit Michelle's grandmother in Kansas. A week later she was gone.

She left me all alone."

Damn it, I am crying. EJ hasn't once turned away. His hand gently wipes the lonely tears streaming down my face.

"I'm sorry," he says.

"No what for, you had no way of knowing. Like I said I haven't thought about Michelle I a long time. I'm rather glad I did, despite these stupid tears."

"No they are not. I'm the one who feels like an ass. I wanted us to talk about the most stupid things we did when we were kids, I shouldn't have forced you to tell me about Todd.

I'm sorry." He says.

"EJ, it's okay. I'm over it. You did me a favour. I had forgotten the most important time of my life. I always believed my childhood was a nightmare from hell but memories of her remind me of all the good times I did have. Paul didn't ruin me completely." I say, taking his face in my hands.

I see so much emotion in those dark eyes of his; tenderness coupled with rage covered in…love. I let go immediately. Turning away from him so he wouldn't see how his caring…his love still affects me. EJ has said over and over how much he loves me and I have never believed him until this night, sitting in semi darkness alone with him.

He holds me, his left arm closing me in as his right turn me to face him.

"Nicole…" he says in a longing whisper.

Oh no, how did we go from laughing to talking about Michelle to this? We were having such a wonderful time earlier and now it could all be ruined because I was stupid enough to think EJ and I could have a friendly, plutonic conversation.

"Nicole…" he says once more, his tone, body screaming desire…longing and why am I just sitting here, letting us go down this path that will only lead to more hurt and pain like countless times before…because I want him just as badly, I think to myself.

"Turn away Nicole, turn and run…" the words ring in my ear. But there I continue to sit beside the man that has hurt me more than most.

My racing heart begins to pound violently against my chest and his hand caresses my face, my neck and the exposed flesh above my breasts. I have lost all control; my chest is heaving and sighing so badly I want him to do more…touching…kissing…loving. His passion filled eyes, his hot breath on my skin is driving me to near insanity.

I am so confused; my heart is literally bursting from having him so close to me. He looks at me and I melt. He touches me and my skin burns hotter than a thousand suns. This moment is so precious but I cannot forget. He turned to Sami when his son went missing. She bloody well shot him in the head; and left his sorry ass to die and he still turned to her…

He told me he was grieving what he thought was Johnny's death but why for all that is good in the world would he sleep with HER? That bitch has been a thorn in my side for as long as I have known her. She strung him along for years and he fell for her bullshit every time, so much for him being a smart lawyer.

"You amaze me," he says.

"You are beautiful, talented, gifted, intelligent and most importantly you are the strongest person I know. I cannot look at you and not be awed; mesmerised. I love you so much!

I know you don't believe me right now. You think Samantha still has some hold over me but you are so wrong. I want more than anything to take back that day, my whole world crashed and I lost myself, I lost you, I lost Johnny…I didn't want to live…not without you.

When Johnny was taken, I thought I was being punished for all the horrible things I did, to you especially. You have no idea how much I loath myself for every thing. I threw us away, not just on that day but long before then. You found me worthy to love and I took that for granted and I hurt you badly through Samantha.

When we had Sydney, I didn't know what real love was then, I had it all and I threw it away for the worthless scraps I thought were love from a woman who hated me with every fibre of her being. All those efforts I put in to win her over did nothing but expose how shallow everything in my life was…every thing except you. That night of the storm you told me no one loved me as well and as completely as you did. It was the truth and I believe I have always known that but because Samantha was such an obsession I didn't see it until I had lost you and not even for the reason you may think."

I shift uncomfortably in his arms. I don't want to hear this, but I need to know, so I let him continue undisturbed.

"With her I had control. I manipulated everything about our sham of a relationship, to the point of using her son. Father controlled me and I wanted to control her, her (non-existing) feelings for me, and then you came along. You were like a breath of fresh air from high up on the Alps on a cloudless morning; clean and pure. You were so new and so different I couldn't understand it. The feelings I had for you kept growing and growing but father and his obsession with everything Brady held me prisoner.

You breezed into my life and rescued me, thawing my hardened cold heart. I wish I could cut myself open and show you how much YOU are a part of me. I live and breathe you Nicole; you are my life. But back then I didn't know how much…

I look back at my life and I realise I was like one of those birds with clipped wings, or the ones always caged never allowed to fly free then suddenly the wings grow and cage door is sprung open. I can taste the freedom but the outside world is so overwhelming that I prefer to remain in my cage. My wings began to grow that day you sat beside and told me you wanted me for your divorce lawyer. My cage door flew open that day of the blackout in the elevator. I got out and I flew as high as my wings could carry but that damned cage of familiarity and control called me back every time.

The business with Sydney and how she came back into our lives, I blamed you for everything when in actuality I played the biggest role in the destruction of our first marriage. You didn't trust me enough to share in what you believed was the miscarriage of our daughter at the time because I gave you absolutely no reason to. That was my entire fault. I should have been there for you, put you first when I was clearly first in your life.

Samantha was more than a thorn in our lives the first time round she was a cancer. What I did with her during Johnny's disappearance sickens me. I am beyond ashamed of my actions, every time I wake up alone in our bed and I know it's because of her. You told me you didn't want me anymore, you made me sign our marriage away and I did. I was in the worst hell imaginable but the day you came back to me only made me realise I had never tasted true hell.

Not only was I reeling from what I had done but I knew how you would feel if you ever found out. Signing those papers didn't absolve me of the pain I knew I would cause you if you knew what I did that night before. Memories of our life before and after Sydney came flooding back into my mind. I remembered how hard it was for you to trust that I loved you then and I love you more now than I did then.

You told me time and time again how you wanted us to begin again from scratch with no secrets and I justified lying to you because I didn't want you to relive the past, believing something that was not true. From that day you came back to me, I have loved and wanted only you. My every waking thought is of you.

I never ever wanted to hurt you as I did. I was wrong in keeping it from you and lying to you but I would be lying now if I didn't say I would have taken that secret to the grave if it meant I could hold you once more as I used without you shutting me off and pushing me away. You are the only person I love more than myself. I only wanted to protect you from what I knew would hurt you.

Samantha is not the woman I love, you are. I don't give a flying fig about that hag I put up with her for Johnny's sake. I wish I could make you see but I know I can't."

"You should have trusted me with the truth," I chime in.

"Would you have stayed if I did? I know you, I know how lowly you think of yourself when confronted by those you mistaken think are better than you in some way. You think I love her and not you so you've decided not to trust in what we share because of the past.

The past is exactly that, past. One drunken night on a hellish day cannot destroy everything we've both worked so hard to accomplish. We have an amazing life together, Nicole. I am asking, no begging you not to throw it away.

I love you and I know you love me too. So what do you say?

"I want to but…I can't. I can't move passed this.

I need time EJ…time to sort out my own feelings, to sort out my life. You were right; I wouldn't have stayed even if you told me that morning after. It seems more and more now that I need to deal with my own issues, my way. I know this is not what you want to hear but please let me be.

I do love you more than I will ever love another but how fair is it of me to ask you to relive our past. I remember too what it was like when Sami was away during her pregnancy with Grace. I was insufferable and I know how hard I made things for you. if I came home now I will always be wondering about you and her and I can't do that…I won't; not to you or to Sydney and certainly not to myself. You forget how crazy with insecurity I got that time. Never ask me to do that ever again."

I see that I have broken his heart; how perfectly it matches my own. I lean forward and kiss his lips gently, freezing this moment since it could very well be the last time. I reluctantly pull myself away.

"I think we are done for today. I need to go." The words come out of my mouth with even less conviction and for the first time since I left him, EJ is at a loss for words.

He lifts me up from the floor; the room is spinning but I ignore the dizzying sensation and I brush off the crumbs from earlier.

"I'll call you a cab," he says.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12:

"Damn it!" I curse.

My head is pounding, oh wait, it's the door. I hear banging…no, NO!

I look at the time, 6:13AM.

"Damn it. Damn it! DAMN IT!

GO AWAY! ARGH…" I yell from under the covers.

Who the hell is up is forsaken hour? My head feels like a pinball table, blinking every two seconds.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

"Nicole, open the bloody door!"

EJ…

"GO AWAY EJ!"

"NICOLE!" damn that man sure has a set of pipes.

"Nicole…NICOLE!"

Oh no, the sun isn't even up, like hell I'm getting out of this bed. I cover myself from head to toe, ignoring the ruckus outside. I never made it to my bedroom; I crashed in one of the guest bedroom on the ground floor dreading the eternal stairs in utter darkness.

It was already after one in the morning when the cab pulled in front of my house; so for EJ to show up at this obscene hour was infuriating.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

I do my absolute to ignore him. The next thing my cell phone starts shrieking in my ear. Damn it I slept with the thing next to my bed. My instinct to rise and fling it out the window at EJ brings me to life, I could kill two birds with one stone and shut them both up for good while I try to die in peace. My headache is getting worse with every bang to my kitchen door.

I take my cell phone and actually throw it across the room. the sound of it splintering almost gets me out of bed but the warm covers and the fact I can't see past an inch of my face even with both eyes open, my head weighs more than an eighteen wheeler tells me what is more important…SLEEP!

The sudden quietness around me lulls me into a false sense of security, maybe EJ did take the hint. I'm calling in sick…alcohol poisoning. So what if I didn't imbibe enough warrant that excuse? EJ was right. The Election is in the bag. This morning Abe will wake to find he has lost to EJ Dimera 24 hours before the actual casting of votes. It feels good to win and celebrations are in order, beginning with staying in bed for the next month.

"Nicole, where in the bloody hell are you?"

That didn't come from outside.

"I know you're in here…somewhere. I heard your phone ringing and then it stopped. Great, I should have known….

"There you are. Get up, we have situation on our hands."

I have the good mind to ask for that key he used to get inside my home. I remember specifically asking my realtor NOT to give my ex husband the key but my head hurts too much and I can taste bile in my mouth. If I get too excited I know I will be sick. So I mentally hit the snooze button trying to ignore the one person hard to miss once he's in a room and this room is small.

"EJ not now, my head is killing me and I didn't get to sleep at all last night."

I cover myself anew. He pulls them away.

"Well, Nicole…you need to see this." he says and chucks the morning paper on my bed.

"EJ I don't have time for this, we went over this last night. I don't need to go over it again. And here I was thinking the reason you got me awake was over something important."

"Nikki this IS important. That is the morning Herald and check what's in the front." He says warily.

"EJ what's the matter, you look like shit."

He does. There are heavy bags under his eyes.

"It turns out neither of us got any sleep last night albeit for different reasons. Mine, is the front cover of that blasted newspaper. I was up all night trying to stop it from coming out I did everything I could, called in every single one of my favours but it was like someone was stone blocking my every move. I found out by pure chance."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

I am now wide awake, the look in his eye, the tone of his voice, his dejected body language…something is wrong and it's lying there at my feet. I wrestle with whether or not to look. He's scaring me. The last he was like this was on the night I found out about Sami….SAMI!

"Tell me that is not what I think it is."

I look him in the eye. He wavers. DAMN IT!

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for any of this to come out!"

Against my better judgement I lift the paper from where it lay and no words. There are no words just EJ and Sami on our now scorched sofa, full frontal!

"You miserable bastard, get out!"

I throw the paper at his face.

"Nikki…"

"Didn't you here me, I said GET OUT!

GET OUT!

GET OUT!

GET OUT!"


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13:

What a complete nightmare. I am just barely moving forward from EJ's betrayal only to be held down yet again under this crushing weight. Why is it I can't get a moment to just breathe; a moment where I am free from feeling like shit; free from EJ's broken promises; free from…everything!

"Just breathe; take long deep breaths and let it all go!" I say through clenched teeth.

It doesn't help. My whole body is so tense, it's shaking. Damn you EJ Dimera. For the next hour I lay in that bed in an attempt to purge the anger, resentment and whatever else is lurking in the shadows of my heart. It is just so hard.

What the hell am I supposed to do? What do I do the moment I step off this bed…the second I step outside my door? I can't hide in here like a hermit and I don't know if I can face the world either.

I'm no longer the man's wife, why should I care? Why should I care? Two months…we haven't been man and wife, we don't live together, and we don't share our lives anymore. So why do I care that the truth is now out there for the whole country to see? Why does it bother me?

It bothers me because I still love him. It bothers me because I still want him. It bothers me because I don't understand. I have given him my every thing and yet Sami is still there. He's said a million times that it's not true but I can't see it let alone believe it.

He tries so hard, I know he does. EJ just wants things back to the way they were; so do I. But how can I be the wife he deserves when a part of me is in doubt?

"Well staying in bed will not solve anything." I say as gingerly raising my tired body from under the covers.

I make my way to the kitchen in search of some Aspirin plus some bananas and a little bit of honey to alleviate throbbing headache.

I am not Mrs EJ Dimera anymore but I am still his publicist and my job doesn't end until he wins this race against Abe Carver. I promised I will stay with him till the end and that's precisely what I am going to do even if I have to grin and bear through my own private hell.

I am Nicole Walker damn it, I have survived far worse than this.

As I drive through the gates of my former home a swarm of flashing lights and reporters swoop in for a glimpse of the wronged spouse and all. Thank goodness I have tinted windows to shield me even from the flashiest of bulbs. I make it to the end of the mob where EJ's security makes sure I'm not followed…vultures!

As I drive up the gravel road towards the house, flanked by massive greens right up the driveway, hidden from prying eyes especially the throng stationed at the gate.

EJ is waiting at the front door, no surprise there.

He looks worse than when I last saw him earlier. His rigid, austere posture is only betrayed by the orchestra of emotion only I am privy to.

We meet at the door. I can tell he is unsure of himself.

"You came…" he says, more in question than statement.

I can't help but smile at him.

"Come, we've got work to do."

I take his hand and lead him inside. The whole house is abuzz with activity…chaos. The continuous ringing of the house telephone line...an indication that it has never stopped ringing since this morning's Herald publication. Everything is out of control, so unlike EJ.

I bump into one of the frenzied staff, Cynthia and the tray that was in her hands a second ago crashed to the immaculate Italian floor; spilling the contents in every direction. Both our eyes turn to the man's whose hand I still held and that seems to be the boiling point.

"Oh Mrs Dimera, excuse me I didn't see you there...how clumsy of me.

I'm so…." she stammers.

"BLOODY HELL CYNTHIA, WHAT THE HELL DO I PAY YOU FOR? IF I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH YOUR INCOPETENCE FOR ONE MORE SECOND, YOU BEST FIND YOURSELF A JOB MORE SUITED TO YOUR TALENTS.

GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!" He bellows at the poor woman whose only crime is to be within his cross-hairs on so cruel a morning.

I let go of his hand and in a fraction of a second a pained look flashes in his eyes and disappears just as quickly, steeling himself as though under attack from all sides. That's just too bad, he is not the victim here and acting the injured party can only go so far before I remember the real reason I'm back in this house.

"EJ, what the hell is wrong with you? There's seriously no need for that. Cynthia has been nothing but wonderful the entire time she's worked for you, biting her head off will not make this whole mess go away!

(Turning to the house-keeper) I'm sorry about that, he's angry but I can assure you it's not because of you." I say in an effort to ease her tension.

EJ in typical caveman fashion he drags me into his office and slams the door.

"Excuse me Nicole last time I checked you are no longer Mistress of the Manor… you will not disrespect me like that in front of the servants, ever again! I will speak to my staff however I want, if I so desire…you have no authority or say in the matter. Do you understand me?"

…His voice is cold and deadly; his glazed fiery eyes on me.

I'm not some wayward petulant toddler deserving of discipline from the way he's talking at me (not to me)…ME of all people! Argh, the never of this man, he needs to check himself before I really lose whatever shred of goodwill I have left towards him, I don't care if he still loves me and that I never stopped loving him. I will walk out this house and never look back, promises me damned, since his clearly were not worth his weight in gold..

"And whose fault is it EJ, because last time a checked, I wasn't the one screwing the town whore? If you had kept it in the pants all those months ago, neither of us would be having this conversation right now. Those sharks and vultures out there would not be circling you as we speak.

I am here to help you not to take any of your shit; I've had enough abuse to last me a lifetime. If you dare speak to me like I'm nothing more than the hired help I will do you the favour of never needing to fire me because I will quit and you can find yourself a proper "Yes" woman!

I'm not one of your lackeys without a back bone, who quivers every time you spew fire and brimstone. I'm neither your wife, I'm not here to play the "good wife" who stands by her disgraced husband, the politician. I'm here to do my job and my job is to make sure you are voted Mayor, tomorrow. If biting heads off the help is your idea of solving your problems please go ahead if not, but if not get your head back in the game, we need to contain this mess YOU created before the end of day.

The poll numbers aren't looking too great but Abe's numbers certainly took a big hit so we can start there. I don't question we dealt him a monumental blow and unlike you, his reputation may never recover from the setback. I'm thinking we can even capitalise on this."

My tone is devoid of emotion. I need to maintain this business like attitude if I am to get us both through this with nothing but minor cuts and bruises. He appears to have calmed down…good. Sometimes angry, volatile EJ is more a liability than an asset and now is not the time for him to lose his head.

I have a plan, somewhat unconventional and there is a great chance that it will never work. But the fact that there have been no precedent circumstances may work to EJ's advantage. It's nothing if not radical. I just need to convince him it will work. If we had more time, we'd have a better chance of spinning this idea into something tangible but time is definitely not on our side.

However the element of surprise may do just the trick. It will work.

It has to.

"So what's this plan of yours?" he asks quietly.

"EJ for months you've miraculously changed people's perception of what you are prepared to do for Salem. Despite widespread knowledge of your family's dubious enterprises and run ins with the law etc, etc; people actually trust that you can and in the short amount of time since you announced your candidacy have in fact turned things around. They no longer look at your alleged criminal background because everything you've done thus far has benefited them both in the short term and in the long.

Somehow they trust you, despite their better judgement."

"Yes we've covered that already, what's your point?" His impatience is resurfacing and fast.

"Okay, Take Abe Carver for instance, he's literally a saint in their eyes or at least he was before Candy's article hit the streets this morning. The difference between you two gentlemen is that Abe has been knocked down from his pedestal. As an upstanding member of society his fall from grace is of greater magnitude than say a not so upright candidate who clearly has faults as high as the Tower of London.

You my chequered man are as murky as they come, they know this but they are also willing to give you a chance to do right. They are putting their trust in the least trustworthy individual in all of Salem so this…little indiscretion may actually be nothing but another fly in a gung heap of your past indiscretions."

He doesn't like my choice of words, I don't care.

"Basically if they managed to ignore every other horrible thing you've done this doesn't even compare to your worst and if you spin this the right way, it will all be forgotten by lunch today."

"What do you propose I do?"

"Since we don't even have to waste time calling a press conference, I say walk out to that mob in front of your gate and announce to the whole country that we are no longer man and wife, that I do not stand by you as the wronged pathetic wife of cheat but that I stand behind a strong, motivated future leader of Salem."


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14:

"Excuse me…?" He gasps.

Ah…exactly as I predicted. We originally agreed to keep the news of the divorce secret and miraculously we even managed to keep the fact that we no longer lived together a secret. Only a few knew; such as his family and Brady, who swore to never breathe a single word of this to any one, not even his current squeeze, Madison James.

"You heard me. It's time we come out of hiding and tell the whole world the truth. They won't expect that. I mean they are so used to lapping up that 'good wife' garbage it's become absolutely boring. This is certainly different…"

"No shit Nicole, I say no it's a terrible idea. As far as Salem is concerned, as far as I AM concerned you are still my wife."

"Yes…right…and you betrayed your wife with the woman who not only tried to kill you but made your life a living hell. That is great gossip fodder. They will love that."

"Don't do that…" he pleads.

"What…give you the cold hard facts? You know what I am saying is true. You will never have a moment's peace if you go down this road. If you hide they will dig and dig until more crap starts to surface and I know you don't want that. There are just too many Candice Simpsons out there that you will not be able to bribe or blackmail into doing your bid.

The fact that you framed John Black is a catalyst to you running for Mayor, you stole all that money and you can bet you fine English muffin they will hang you to dry should that ever come out."

"NO!" He says, raising his voice.

"Stop arguing with me on this. I made up my mind and as you publicist you must do what I know is best for your over all image. Yes it will sting…initially but you're a Dimera for crying out loud and we are running out of time. I want your formal statement in the afternoon editions of today's papers…all of them. Douse the flames created by the Herald this morning by countering it, it's sound, you know it as well as I do."

Damn him, he's stalling and he knows what a blow those pictures were to his campaign and there's no time to second guess his only form of defence he has in his quiver.

"So will you do it, go out there and take back the lead?" I ask him in my most professional voice.

"…Yes."

It's just one word but the effect on my already blighted sense of sanity is felt all the way through me but I can't let him see that or else he will never do it; not out of a sense of self preservation but out of wanting to spare me any more hurt. Too bad it's too late.

We spend the next few minutes working on a statement that is concise and final, covering all bases and leaving nothing to chance. When he goes out there, there should be no question as to who should be Salem's next Mayor.

We close ourselves in his office, shutting out the world in more ways than one, focusing on that one goal of salvaging this campaign.

"I believe we finally have it, as long as you are still sure this is the only option, I think this will do as best as we can hope." He says while reading the final draft of his statement to the press scavenging outside.

"You need to wash your face, shave and get ready because you're on in five I would have asked you to change but this suit will do, the blue shirt is striking against the black. They won't be able to take their eyes off you, but the point here is to have them eating out of the palm of your hand!" I say to him…game face very much still on.

He returns after several minutes looking every bit the man of the hour. Nothing can be done about the shadow under his eyes but nobody is going to care about his looks after they hear what he's about to say.

I grab his jacket from the back of his chair and help him with it, then straighten his tie. I look him up and down; I couldn't be more satisfied even if I tried. The circumstances are strenuous at best but you work with what you have and what we have is a morsel but it IS something.

"Let's go!" I say leading him out.

They see us long before we reach the perimeter of the gate. My hands begin to sweat profusely. The lilac blouse I am wearing under my blue jacket is clinging to me real fast. I am doing my best to breathe evenly; I can't let him see me like this. The reason he's out here is because I convinced him when I had done a piss poor job of convincing myself earlier this morning and more so now.

"Get a grip Nicole," I rebuke myself.

It's so low he doesn't hear me.

The car comes to a halt and a cry of cameras clicking away nearly crushes me barely a step out of EJ's car. I told him to ditch the limo and the driver. He is a capable man any sign of self assurance we can muster must work for him however small it may be, I can't crumble now, not when we're this close to breaking away scot-free.

EJ quickly rounds the car to my side and open my door. This is not what we discussed, every single action will be monitored I told him this. They are going to take this the wrong way and see it as EJ compensating for doing me wrong. I wouldn't have a problem with this if it wasn't true.

I glare at him as he pulls me out, my back turned away from the throng outside the gate.

"Sorry Darling it couldn't be helped." He says with a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

I will deal with this later, away from prying eyes.

"Open the gate Julian," I turn to the security standing a few paces away from me.

"What the hell are you doing?" asks EJ in whispered fury.

"Following your lead…"I snap back at him. "I realise those bars aren't going to make come out in the best light. There will be pictures all over the newspapers today, tomorrow, a month from now; I want you to look good while you bare your soul to these people.

Excuse me while I warm them up for you." I walk away from EJ without so much as a backward glance.

"Ladies and gentlemen may I have your attention please. I am sure after today's publication of The Herald; you all have many questions to as. Mayoral Candidate Mr Elvis Dimera has prepared a statement for you this morning in response to the published images from the morning edition of The Herald."

"Mrs Dimera, how do you feel after seeing your husband compromised, pictures of his sexual indiscretion splattered all over the media a day before Salem goes to the polls? Can you answer that for us please?" asks one toothy plus balding reporter, I don't recognise him.

"I am sorry but as I said Mr Dimera HAS prepared a statement. Absolutely no questions will be taken from the press at this moment. He has taken this precious time out of his already busy schedule to put some matters to rest. He will give you the answers you seek, all we ask in return is that you be patient and respect both our privacy regarding this matter."

"I am certain that most of you seek nothing but gossip to satisfy your readers but I tell you this, what you will hear is nothing but the truth. However as to whether or not it will be acceptable to you or your readers that unfortunately is out of Mr Dimera's hands."

"Mrs Dimera, please just one question…"

"Ladies and gentlemen of the pres I give you Mr Elvis Dimera." I interrupt one woman barely out of puberty by the look on her face.

I turn my back to them and look at EJ, his back is up straight, no cue cards in sight (this makes me nervous). He looks back at me almost as if saying, "don't worry, I got this!" I must trust him…TRUST.

The word has become venomous in my vocabulary.

I must trust him.

He never trusted me.

"Good morning ladies and gentlemen of the press, as my EX WIFE has already said, it is nothing but the truth which will be disclosed here this morning." he says carefully articulating every word with greater emphasis on the EX and the WIFE part.

Immediately the group explodes into frenzy. Every one shooting out questions I can barely hear myself think. And what is EJ doing….nothing. He just stands there and waits as the buzz, similar to the attack of a swarm of bees, rises into a crescendo of manic reporters and their flashing cameras. They are rabid but EJ just stands there, composed and in control. He has them where he wants them all he has to do to go for the kill but not yet. He needs to lull them and sway them to his beat, taking back all the control temporarily lost when hi secret was exposed.

He begins with the disappearance of Johnny and the false proclamation of his death by one reporter conspicuously absent today.

"My marriage is a private matter but I will say this much; we were separated and divorce was just a signature away for reasons that will remain unsaid. We eventually signed on the dotted line and dissolved a marriage which had its own set of problems just like any other.

I was a free man!

I had not only lost my son but I was now faced with the ordeal of burying my boy before he ever had a chance to live due to the incompetence of the Salem PD, and the reporter. I was distraught with a grief I had never known in my entire life. In our moment of grief we, me and the mother of my son turned to one another in comfort (he never says her name). I have my regrets about that night, one of which concerns the most important person in my life (May she forgive me) but I did nothing wrong, as my EX wife can attest." He says.

He mentions that I have known for months about his one night with Sami Hernandez, glossing over the specifics and the fact that the divorced actually wasn't finalised till much later, it would not matter either way.

"We have lived separately for some time now." He continues.

"As you can see Ms Nicole Walker Dimera and I, even though we are no longer man and wife, that has never hindered our professional relationship. It has in fact thrived as documented polling numbers show. I am still very much in the running for Mayor of Salem. And she is still very much my Public Relations officer, managing my campaign nearly single handed. She is fully dedicated in her job as I am dedicated to working for the citizens of our fair city.

My actions from last year have absolutely no bearing whatsoever in how I will serve Salem.

Irrespective of my personal life which has been carelessly slandered in the public arena I can see why one day before the elections Mr Abraham Carver and his cronies are so threatened by the prospect of being ousted by a Dimera he is resorting to dirty tricks in a desperate attempt to sway voters. He must know he is going to lose.

He publicly humiliates those closest to me (he looks in my direction and pauses for effect) in a petty and juvenile tactics that he no doubt believed would force me to pull out of the race. Our incumbent mayor has underestimated my faithfulness to the cause. Long he has neglected the people of Salem settling only to give out scraps when it best suits him. Salem deserves better. Salem deserves fresh blood, a leader who is unafraid to take risks but is just as ready to take responsibility."

I realise that as I stand here before you and many have already passed judgement on me without fully understanding who and what I am. I have never once proclaimed myself to being anything more that what I am…human. I made a mistake as many people have. I won't even claim to never making any more mistakes but I do promise to own up to every single one.

All I ask is for the people of Salem to be fair. Over the duration of this race I have opened myself up to public scrutiny from my businesses and now my personal life; I am not ignorant of that fact. What I cannot endorse it the soiling of my name to sell a few thousand copies of a newspaper.

Come what may, I am a man and I certainly can deal with any and every attack against me. I most definitely have weathered far worse than what The Herald has attempted to throw at me. However I draw the line when these attacks of a personal nature hurt not only my staff but hurt my children also who are no doubt innocent victims in today's furore.

He follows up with a passionate closing statement of revenge and retaliation but sugar coating it in political correctness, bending the words to his rhythm. In other words his enemies will rue the day they came after EJ Dimera.

Ladies and gentlemen I thank you for your time. As my PR lady has said, I have a busy day ahead of me and I have an election to win.

Thank you again." he concludes.

"MR DIMERA JUST ONE QUESTION…"

"MR DIMERA, WE WOULD LIKE TO KNOW…"

"MRS DIMERA, HOW ABOUT ONE STATEMENT…"

"Thank you, that is all!" he says decisively and turns away from them.

"Julian…the gate please!" EJ commands the guard and escorts me back to the car, not failing to open the door for me.

My blood is literally dancing from the rush of the last half hour. I don't know if it was from watching every single one of those mongers eat up every word coming out of EJ's mouth or if it was from watching EJ work them like a puppet master. He was up front with them, remorseful, indignant, furious and cocky all at once. They were spell bound.

As I beside him, warmth coursing through my veins I can't believe it; we actually did it!

We turn and face each other, smiling knowingly. He turns on the engine and drives away, this battle no doubt won.

Tomorrow…the war!


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15:

I close his office door behind me.

I am still on a natural high, there's something about its potency that can't be matched; not by synthetic drugs and certainly not with a glass of martini, how sacrilege of me. I feel I can swim the Channel in a single breath after walking away from potential disaster victorious.

"Nikki darling we did it…YOU DID IT!" says EJ.

Before I have time to react, he scoops me up into his arms and spins me around, laughing…just plain old thrilled. I can taste his excitement as his face is but an inch from mine. His hot breath covers me and every thought I have flies out the window.

"You are the most brilliant woman I know.

Did you see them? They milked every word." he says smiling.

It's no surprise we are in sync; I feel everything that he is feeling.

"Yes…yes I did…we did it." I correct him.

"You…are…a…remarkable…woman," he breathes into me.

I close my eyes and savour every moment, committing all to memory. His arms circle me, holding me tighter. Breathing has now become tiresome, temporarily suspended each time EJ's lips brushed against my skin.

"EJ…I uh…you can put me down now."

He leans back and looks at me. To say the moment has me all flushed is an understatement.

"If this is really what you want…"

"It…is…it's what I want. Please put me down." I say, my voice quivering but firm.

"The pulsing skin right here (he kisses the inside of my wrist) and right here (he kisses the base of my neck) says otherwise." He says; his head still cradled in the nook between my head and chest.

"Well this part of me says that's enough." I place a finger on my lips. As if on cue his eyes follow and linger on that part of my anatomy.

"Well…if you say so…" he then says before putting me down and walking away.

Okay…I'm surprised, no shocked he actually listened. Normally we go back and forth until I give in only to snap back to reality. It's not like him to give in so easily. I should be glad.

"Thank you." I say to him.

I try to smile but I can't somehow. I feel gutted. Like every high, the crash is bound to follow. I didn't expect that it would be this soon. My emotions are now in turmoil. I am confused, but this after all is what I wanted all along, for him to keep his distance.

I can't seem to clear my head. It is pulling me one way while my heart shoots in the opposite direction. I'm too scared to look too closely into why I feel the way I do. I am not afraid of the love I have for EJ, which has never been an issue even after everything he's done to me.

However I am afraid of something that up until that moment had never sunk in. EJ may have tired of chasing after me and being disappointed every time. Before and after the separation I sensed his raw desire for me and in my anger I shunned him for what he did to me…to us. I turned away from him.

Listening to him speak to all those journalists, I realised that I was not as innocent as I originally believed. I did leave EJ that morning even though he begged me no to. But I couldn't trust that he was genuine and seriously wanted to give our twisted marriage another shot. Nothing in the past had ever given me reason to hope. I loved him but I couldn't trust his feelings for me. So I ran.

What I know now is what I knew then, what I have known all along. It is not Sami that has come between us this time. Apart from Dimera Enterprises, we spend more time together that before. Sami barely features in anything that concerns EJ except if it's about Johnny.

What I want from EJ is for him to want me as much as I want him. I want to be the centre of his universe. I want to be the air he breathes. I want him to thirst…to hunger for all of me. I want him to need all of me as I do him. He is my every thing; I just want to be his.

He removes his jacket and flings it over the chair before his desk. He rolls up his sleeves and looks my way…damn fine man he is.

"I guess it's back to work then." He says nonchalantly as he takes out his reading glasses and starts sorting the documents on his desk.

Is he playing with me?

"Right…work; I best get started. (I take the sofa)

We just threw a cat amongst the pigeons and we need to keep momentum. I bet Abe is still running around like a headless chicken, he doesn't know his front from his back. He should never have hired Jennifer Horton. In fact he shouldn't have tried to run for his second term. Politics is a dirty game meant for ruthless bastards as your self and those not shy to play in the mud."

"Oh stop it with the compliments darling, you're making me blush." He says behind his glasses. He moves from behind the desk and joins me on the other end of the sofa.

I smile somewhat uneasily. I just need to act cool, if only I could control my colouring.

I get on the phone and call one of the many contacts helping us with EJ's campaign. I instructed him to keep me posted with Abe's next move after Candy's article broke. I'm on the phone for the next ten minutes before hanging up on him.

"So what did our man say?" asks EJ.

"As I told you, Abe reacted exactly as predicted. He's issuing a statement through Jennifer, denying EVERYTHING of course. It's a good thing all those reporters were camped outside your gates and not at Casa Carver. By acting quickly on this, it will separate the winner from the loser tomorrow."

"I love the way your mind works, I love it all. Lexi must be beside herself worrying that her husband will lose tomorrow….oh well, it's the roll of the dice."

We are quiet for a few minutes…EJ is busy with business while I scan the internet on Elvis Dimera. Over the last ten minutes there have been 37 000 hits to his name already. The public is commenting on all social networking sites. He's trending on twitter, his Facebook page has been inundated with comments already in their hundreds. People, the country is talking and it's all good, except for those extremist who insist Elvis is still the spawn of Satan and people should not vote for such a man into office.

The silence would not bother me so much if I was actually paying attention to the screen before me. I shift this way and that, trying to make myself comfortable but nothing seems to work. A quick glance away from my iPad only opens the door to the wolf outside.

I am under scrutiny. EJ is, for lack of a better word, staring. His gorgeous brown eyes are pools I could lose myself in for periods at a time, I used to when we were together, I could never get enough of looking at him and it seems nothing has changed.

I return my eyes back onto the screen, shying away from his naked perusal. I take out a file from pile sitting next to me, he's still watching. No matter what I am doing I feel his eyes follow me. I begin to feel warm all over again. Does he know what he's doing to me?

"…Focus Nicole, just focus on the figures in front of you. Focus on why this particular demographic is still not convinced. It's because to them EJ is still nothing but a lying, now cheating dirty scoundrel not deserving to be Mayor. They don't trust him! He seems dedicated; I can see he wants this more than anything…maybe, just maybe…" My thoughts race from one end to another.

He on the other hand is still watching. I wish I were as calm as he appears. He's the epitome of cool, calm and collected while I am as the waves crashing against the rocks.

It's suddenly warm, despite the fact that the air conditioner is on. I am resisting the urge to fan myself, not with him sitting this close to me. He finally turns away from me but only for the purpose of releasing his tie and unbutton a button or two.

The electricity in the room is charged to maximum capacity. EJ leans back against the sofa and his one arm makes its way to the back, his chest opened for no one else but me. He's playing with me or rather playing me to his tune. We've had many days and nights like this where we came from besting his opponent and all thoughts of campaigning were dumped at the door. They ended with us naked and entangled in the heat of the moment.

There wasn't a day that passed where we didn't express everything we felt for each other whether the time or place was appropriate or not. Being with EJ was always amazing. It's been two months since…

Since the moment we closed ourselves in this confined space only one thing has become glaringly apparent. But we are not together anymore so whatever we may feel, it is NOT appropriate for us to even entertain our carnal desire for each other…that is what my head tells me. However my body on the other hand…It's screaming for him!

I remove my jacket, which initially seemed like a great idea at the time but the useless air-con has helped in taping my blouse tightly against my form; something that is not lost on EJ. Damn it why is it so warm in here?

"…Here, let me help you." he says while grabbing my jacket and tossing it in the direction of the chair that in front of his desk.

He misses and the jacket falls to the floor.

I move to pick it off the ground but his cool hand placed conspicuously over my arm holds me back.

"Leave it,' he says as he brushes unruly stands of hair from my face.

He clears the space between us, taking the iPad from my hands.

"EJ…"

"Please…don't tell me you haven't once thought about this. I know I have. I can't stop thinking about how sweet you smell, the feel of your skin, the look on your face when I…"

"Stop it…just stop…"

"Nikki, I know you. I see the way you look at me. I saw it today when we wiped the floor with those bastards outside. I see it now as you beautiful blue eyes look into mine.

You want me just as much as I want you."

"…No…"

What am I saying?

He pushes me back against the sofa and I let him.

"I want you…I want you so badly right now I could die from just the longing alone…" he utters breathlessly as he drops his head over me, his body over mine.

A soft cry escapes my lips. He smiles…I can't see his face but I have no doubt. His hand slowly makes its way up the length of my electrified body leaving behind a trail of white hot fire where his masterful fingers touched.

His touch brings me to my knees; he's not once kissed me. All he does is talk…whisper…grunt. The things he's saying only push me over the edge. After months of separation I almost explode from just listening…form his touch.

Damn it…another moan, louder this time, lift myself by only a fraction but he gets the message, at which time he bites but only just a little…still no kissing. I can't take anymore…I WANT MORE.

"Tell me…" he groans.

"Hmmm…tell…you…w-what?" the words barely come out.

"You know what I want…" he says while shifting his weight over me….DAMN IT!

"Tell me what I want to hear…SAY IT!" he growls.

He pulls up to look me in the eye.

"Say the words I'm dying to hear…"

I can't pretend I don't know what he's talking about.

"Say it Nicole and put me out my misery…Say it Nic. Say it…"

I can't…the words won't come out and not for lack of wanting. My heart is beating at a thousand beats per minute.

"I…I…" TRAPPED, they refuse to come out.

He sees my hesitation and his countenance changes…NO! He's pulling away…

Come on Nicole, you want the same thing he does…you want so TELL him so!

"EJ…" I hold his face in my hands.

"EJ…I…don't leave…" I stagger; trying to…oh I don't know anymore.

"…Don't what…? Don't stop this madness? How long Nicole do you intend to punish me forever? I guess you got what you wanted after all…I can't do this anymore…I can't lay my heart at your feet only for you to crush it every time.

You got what you wanted!" he says in wretched pain.

He pushes me down, I know I have hurt him and my heart breaks at the very thought of it.

"EJ stop, you don't understand."

"I understand perfectly…" he ignores me.

"I love you…I LOVE YOU! (Pulling his face to mine) I love you.

I want you…I need you.

Kiss me…"

I didn't have to ask twice…we kiss. I open myself up to him; no more holding back.

"I miss you so much," he says between kisses.

"Shut up and KISS ME!" I command and EJ happily obliges.

The moment is perfect because I know this is what I want, I want my husband back. I want my lover back. I want EJ…

"Where the hell is he? WHERE IS MY SON?"

"Damn it, it's…"

"…Your father." I finish his sentence.

"He sure knows how to pick the time to come visit." he says tensely.

"EJ…I don't think Stefano would appreciate finding us like this."

"I don't care; I appreciate finding us like this." he says then kisses me passionately.

I am all mush inside; I really miss him…but Stefano….

"EJ!" I cry out after he frees me.

"I will lock the door, he won't know we are here…" he argues.

"EJ!" I nearly choke.

"Nicole darling, father can wait…you…and I on the other end can't." he says; a valid point.

"ELVIS, ELVIS!" Stefano's furious voice is no near, he could be standing in our midst.

"EJ please…" I plead with him.

"Oh alright, I guess I'll have to take a rain check."

He plants one last kiss; after which we make ourselves decent…as best as we can under the circumstances.

The office door opens up to Stefano.

"What the hell did you do?" he asks EJ, who sitting proper behind his desk…across the room from where I sit.

No one could guess what almost took place literally a minute ago. EJ and I give each other a look before he eventually answers his father.

"What could you possibly mean father?" EJ asks.

"Don't play innocent with me, BOY! I am talking about the fiasco from this morning. I am talking about this nonsense of yours in confessing your sins to the whole country. Have you lost your mind?"

His fury palpable…to bad EJ isn't paying attention. He keeps looking at me, undressing me with his eyes.

"Oh I get it, it's this damned woman. I told you from the beginning she would be the end of you and this morning's event proved it.

How could you be so careless! First it was the Brady Bitch and now…the town drunk!"

For a while I thought he had caught us red handed. The look he gives me is saturated with contempt. Too bad I am immune after years of dealing with him. Nothing he says affects me anymore. Once upon a time I may have cared, like when EJ had asked me to move to his father's mansion.

…Now…not so much.

"That's enough father, you want to yell and scream all you want, direct your anger and your disappointments at me. I am the one who got ME into this mess. Nicole has done a bloody fine job of keeping everything from falling apart. What I did this morning has just about saved my skin yet again because of her.

We owe her for that much."

"We owe her nothing!" spews Stefano. "You have shamed your family, by your misconduct and now you've gone and forfeited this race to that paragon of all things slow because she can't keep her legs shut!"

My ears turn bright red from that statement, at how false it is and how true it is. I am glad I decided to wear my hair down today or else… I try to ignore him and focus on the paper in front of me. At the least it looks like I'm slaving away as implied by EJ but I have read and reread the same sentence fifteen times in the last five minutes alone.

"What the hell does she have over you that you refuse to let her go? She's blackmailing you and I want to know what it is. I can't be the mess from this morning because she 'left' because of it. So tell me, and then I can finally get rid of her from our lives!"

Father, nobody is blackmailing me. Nicole works for me and has done an incredible job. If she was sabotaging me why would she go after Abe, he's the father of her brother? What happened this morning with the Herald, I plan on finding out who leaked the story because nobody I know would dare go against a Dimera."

Stefano's cold black eyes continue to bear down at me, trying to knock me down. EJ's father has accused me of sabotage on more than one occasion…in fact at every chance he gets; like the first article to slander EJ (Candice Simpson's master article), going behind EJ's back by pitting him at odds with Lexi. I thought EJ decision to run for mayor was his own, I did nothing to break down EJ & Lexi's relationship…EJ did that without my help however I may have put the nail in a coffin somewhere.

"GET OUT!" the old got bellows at me.

"I don't think so. Unless I hear those words from EJ's mouth, my ass is glued to this spot right here!" I snap back.

I see EJ smirk behind his father. I can't believe he's enjoying this. Stefano has insulted us both (me in particular) he's accused EJ of being lead by his smaller head rather than his smart one.

"I know what you're about Nicole WALKER, even though my son doesn't. I asked you to leave this house at once and I will not do so again. I am giving you a chance to walk out her while your two feet can still carry you.

"She stays," shays EJ calmly at Stefano's back. He smiles at me.

"I didn't ask you." he snaps his son.

"And I was telling you, Nicole stays because I asked her. I trust her and I am sorry father that you don't see her as I do but you will have to learn to trust me on this. Nicole stays, that's the end of the matter.

I have asked you to let me run…this campaign as I want. It is my decision."

"Oh I see…you are sleeping together!"

"STEFANO…" I scream.

I don't know why I did but I did. I avoid EJ's eyes, embarrassed enough as it is.

He turns back to his son…"You are making a grave mistake."

"Duly noted, will that be all. We were in the middle of something rather important…" says EJ to his disgusted father.

"Ayee, I can't, I won't fix this for you when it blows up in your face Elvis," says Stefano as he leaves.

I hear the click of the door closing, we are finally alone and my senses are once more heightened. I had buried my head not in sand but in the next best thing, statistics.

A moment later EJ is standing in front of me, he looks too delicious for my own good. How have I denied myself for so long when I could have had him a long time ago?

"He's finally gone," he says.

I rise from the sofa and head for the door.

"Nicole…?" he says softly.

The mental image of him turning away from me returns…I lock the door and turn to face him, "Where were…?" I never finish the question as EJ has sprung up on me slamming me against the door.

He covers me with hot kisses, and soon after I taste heaven. It is passion filled; two months' worth of passion exploding I can barely stand.

"I love you so much," he whispers over and over and over.

"I love you too!" is all I manage to say, as I hold him for all it's worth.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16:

The house is quiet. It's been hours since EJ chased everybody out and it's been even longer since the afternoon editions of newspapers hit the streets.

"HAS MAYOR CANDIDATE SHOT HIMSELF IN FOOT?"

"EJ DIMERA BITES BULLET…"

"HAS ELVIS LEFT THE BUILDING?"

They all said the same thing that EJ had lost his mind or how hard it must be for me to keep working for him. There is some fallout to deal with but it was to be expected. People don't take too kindly to their politicians lying and cheating; which is a good thing that EJ can only be accused to the one (a slim chance at that) and not the other.

I am back in the one place I didn't think I would be…I'm home. EJ is sleeping right next to me while I scan the papers. Being in our bed, in our room is so bittersweet. So much has passed between us in the past two months; anger being one and then the hurt. It has taken me this long to realise that I wasn't the only one hurting. I was hurting him too.

EJ stirs, so I grab the papers and climb out. He needs his rest tomorrow is a big day…for us both.

"Hmm…where are going? Come back to bed!" he says with his hand stretched out to me."

"EJ…"

"No I don't want to hear it, drop everything and come here." He pats the spot I left just a moment ago.

I do as he asks, practically leaping into his open arms. It is easier than I thought it would be. I had put in so much effort in resisting EJ for the last several weeks, in suppressing my own needs that in mere hours I have slipped back into my life as though nothing ever happened to part me from EJ.

He begins planting kisses on me.

"I miss my wife (you always have and always will be); I miss the feel of her laying next to me…the weight of her precious body on top of mine. I miss you so much I can't think.

Now I know tomorrow is Election Day but for this one night, can we forget that I am running for mayor, let's forget about work and let me hold you tonight…I want to hold my wife in my arms…to kiss her…to make sweet love to her all night long."

"Is that so…?" I ask as he continues kissing me.

"Shhh…stop interrupting me," he says as he pins me beneath him.

His kisses intensify, leaving no spot unmarked. I nearly die from the sheer pleasure of it all. When I try to do the same he stops me.

"No…no…my way…." he says.

He is patient…almost too patient, taking his time in everything. His kisses are singed with a longing matching my own. EJ is so attentive, our bodies attuned to one another like never before. Our coming together is more than just a physical act, it's emotional…spiritual.

My heart is so full right now I can barely contain myself, he smoothly takes control. I on the other am on the verge of losing it.

"EJ…" I cry out his name.

That seems to do the trick as we finally attain the bliss so intensely sought, where every moment is savoured. We hold tightly to one another, very much wary of this short time we have before we face the world not as man and wife. Each of our hands intertwined, we are a tangled, beautiful mess. A person would have a hard time finding where I begin and where EJ ends…we are one; mind, body and soul!

We both drink in the silence, a soothing backdrop to the chaos ahead. It's a while before EJ's delicious accent wakes me from perfect slumber.

"Darling, move back in!"

"What…?"

"I want you and Sydney to move back home. I want you both with me." he says.

"Nicole…Nicole…?" he calls out into the silence.

"Yes, I'm here…"

"Well, say something."

"I don't know what to say…"

"Say yes? This is your home, not that two bit halfway house you live in."

"HEY! Sydney loves that house…I love my house and have you forgotten you practically handpicked it for us…you not me."

"Well I am revoking that action. It was made under duress and therefore is insubstantial at this stage.

Come home." He almost pleads.

"EJ this is so sudden…"

"It's the right thing to do, the best thing for all of us; you, me and Sydney. Johnny misses you both terribly, always asking about his sister and Nikki."

"EJ…so much has happened and I am not talking about you and S…heck I refuse to say her name.

We announced our divorce to the country this morning."

"Yeah, so…?" he says, wrapping his warms arms around me, spooning me.

I admit it feels like heaven being in his arms, I have never known a better feeling in my life. I can hear how much it means to him to have me and Sydney back but something is holding me back. And it will be unfair of me to not tell him so, to make him think that we could actually pick up where we left off and I want so desperately to say yes…

"EJ, I know this will be hard for you to hear as it is hard for me to say but I can't…at least not right now. Everything is so messed up and complicated between us. I know you think moving back will solve every thing but I'm not so sure.

We aren't married for one. And you have barely survived the last scandal let's not make things even more impossible for you by reneging on the whole point of today. You need to stay on this path for just a little while longer."

He flinches the more I talk and when he can't take any more he turns me so he can face me as I do the one thing I don't want to do…hurt him once more.

"You need to earn your constituents…"

"I don't care about…!" He shouts.

"I don't care about them but I do care about you…about us. You are both are what is important to me not being mayor." he says more calmly to my face

I smile at him and then kiss him.

"I know and I love you for it but EJ I know you, you act like this election means nothing but I know it means something or else you would not have gone to the lengths you did to get to where you are. It has nothing to do with having people like you but having them like you or at the least having them stop calling for your head fits into this grand scheme of yours.

I know how much you hate losing, the difference between me and your goal is you have won me already. I just want you to realise every thing you want and I want nothing more than to help you to achieve it. You my love are destined for far greater things. Win the people of Salem first before worrying about whether we live under the same roof.

These people want great leadership but importantly they want consistency and honesty and this morning you gave them that. Let them see that they can trust you, that they can actually depend on you to walk the talk. I know it's tedious and dull and to think this is our only night like this…together for the next while. When you're sitting in the Oval Office, it won't matter you sacrificed a few nights with me to get there."

"Are you serious…you're spinning…to me of all people?"

"Is it working? I ask.

"Of course not, I would sacrifice the Presidency if it meant being with you." he says.

"I know you would but I don't want you to. I am not asking you to give us up completely. I'm asking you for a few weeks maybe months…"

"MONTHS…?" He nearly chokes.

"What ever time is necessary holding off on the big reunion (and it will be big). We wait until the time is just right. EJ, I love you and I haven't changed my mind.

Look at it this way, it will give you time to work the public in your favour. Woo them.

Weren't you the one who said to me the public loves a good come back story? When we make this official, the people of Salem will think they had a hand in putting us back together, since we will be working so close after your win tomorrow. And when we get married again it will be the biggest event this dinky little town has ever seen or will ever see again. You will leave an impression no one will ever fill."

"And I'm supposed to go along with this plan of yours? (Yes)

I must be crazy to even consider it."

He concedes.

"Yeah…crazy in love." I chime in.

"Don't get so cocky because you may actually get what you want," he says sullenly.

"Do you know what I really want?" I ask, trying to lift his sunken spirit.

I push him onto his back and I position myself.

"I want…"

He silences me with an impassioned kiss.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17:

EJ was declared the new Mayor of Salem. It was a glorious day, I had never been more proud. As he stood tall and debonair on that podium while giving his victory speech to the citizens of Salem, half of which where quite embittered; I didn't realise how much I wanted this for him.

When he first offered me the job as his publicist I thought he was mad for thinking he could not only run for mayor but actually win. There we were on a bright spring morning bearing down on all who bayed for his head, at the very least longed to see him jailed. It was the sweetest irony. EJ Dimera was now the head of the city and there was nothing the Bradys or Blacks or Hortons could do about it.

He talked about a new era of greatness for the town of his birth. He would bring about much needed change fostering a sense of family…community. He was clear, sharp and to the point.

"I look forward to working with every member of our community to make Salem the greatest town in all of America!"

I even believed him.

"Now I would like to thank my wife, my right hand woman who never stopped believing in; the reason why I am standing in front of you this morning ladies and gentlemen, Nicole Dimera!" He said and then turned to his right and looked at me, drawing everyone's attention to where I stood.

"I never knew how true this statement was until today; behind every great man is a great woman, thank you darling for all your hard work!" he said amongst some snickering from the crowd before him but he ignored them.

I didn't expect the praise and more so he referred to me as his wife when it was already old news that we were legally separated. I gave him a look to say I was not really impressed with that stunt but he just smiled and winked at me which only made me warm with a peculiar fever.

He was gone a few days later, on business out of town, but not before leaving me a note to join him soon after he left. We wanted to celebrate his victory away from prying eyes, so he organised this little trip to Chicago.

I couldn't wait. The last time we were alone…together was on the night before the elections. I missed him and he missed me. It was unfortunate we had to pretend…to keep our distance when it was so damn hard. So this was the first opportunity in five days; the longest five days of my entire life.

"Nikki why can't I stay with you when Daddy is away?" asks Johnny.

"But you did Buddy and we had the most fun we've ever had or don't you remember?

And now you and your sister are going to your grandfather's but only for a few days then I'll come back for you I promise." I try to reassure him.

EJ has severed all ties between Sami and Johnny.

I was surprised at his action. I asked him about it citing Johnny's attachment to Sami as much as it galled me to utter the words. I was thinking of his son.

"I AM thinking of my son." He said on the day he left.

"Darling I really don't want to talk about Samantha right now. We only have a few minutes before we reach the airport and I don't want to waste another minute."

He began kissing me fervently right there in the back of his limo.

"EJ…honey…please…not here…ooh…EJ!" I said finally breaking free from his hold.

"We can't…not here, not now and certainly not like this."

He just ignored me but thankfully we finally reached the airport. He was quite unhappy about that.

"I'll tell the driver to do another lap back to town so we can…"

"NO, you have a flight to catch and you don't want to be late."

"Nicole…sweetheart it's my own private jet, I think it can wait."

"Yes it can but your investors won't. You are Mayor now.

Honey, all eyes are on you right now and your detractors are just waiting to see you fail at just one thing so they can kick you out. It's very important that we don't give them any reason to come at you with torches and pitch forks…just yet. Cementing your role as Mayor is very important. " I reminded him.

He didn't like it but he knew I was right.

"A few days…I'm giving you two days or else I'll come to get you myself and I don't care what social decorum dictates."

A smile crosses my lips involuntarily.

"I love it when you get all up in a huff, maybe I should take three days…"

"NICOLE!" he yelled.

"I'm kidding, I didn't mean it!" I laughed at him.

He really does hate it when he doesn't get his way. I kissed his lips just to make him feel better…and linger longer than he expected.

"I love you." I told him as he stepped out the limo.

"…Two days!" he commanded.

That was almost two days ago. I am on my way to his father's who has turned into my staunchest naysayer of late…more so than usual. That impromptu conference outside EJ's gates did nothing to endear me to his glacial heart, not that I believed he had one. The only time the old geyser showed any warmth was when it came to his grandchildren. Not even EJ, his son could solicit that kind of reaction from Stefano.

"Do you pinkie swear?" asks Johnny seriously, tugging at my heart strings.

Of late he has become reclusive and rather clingy since his mother is no longer a part of his world. He only comes alive when he's with Sydney who is always with me. EJ has tried to ease him into his new circumstances but it has not been easy. I have done my best to reassure EJ's son that he's both loved and cherished despite his mother's absence.

"I pinkie swear it," I say sticking out the little finger in his direction.

It is something that seems to calm him down every time he gets worked up over something. We sing a number of nursery rhymes, 'Pat-a-Cake' in particular, for the rest of the short journey. Both Sydney and Johnny are fond of the rhyme, for some reason…maybe it's because I promised them a surprise for when we reach Stefano's.

I finally drive through the massive blackened gates of Casa Dimera. I decide to shelve my apprehension at the prospect of seeing my ex-father in law for the sake of the kids. Their restlessness from earlier this morning seems to have dissipated. The thought of giving them a sugary treat is the furthest thing from my mind, poor Mary will be dead on her feet by the time she puts them down for the day.

Mary…on cue meets me at the door.

"Where are my precious little ones? She asks as they both fly out the car and into her open arms…bless her.

"Here we are," the both shout in unison as she hugs them both at the same time.

"Oh my look how big you are…the two of you, have you been eating your greens?"

"Yes…Urgh, they are not so nice but Nikki said I won't grow to be as big and strong as Daddy if I don't eat them," quips Johnny as he makes a disgusted look for Mary's benefit.

"I don't like them but Mamma makes me eat them anyway," chimes in my Sydney in her petit little voice.

"You have to listen to your parents and be a good little boy and a good little girl…can you do that for me?" she asks to which she gets a resounding yes from them.

"Hello Mary…"

"Good morning Ms Nicole. Let me take these two munchkins off your hands, Mr Dimera is waiting for you in the living room."

Typical…I should have known I would be summoned.

"Come here you two and give me a kiss before Mary takes you away."

They dutifully oblige. I hug them both tightly and tell them I love and will see them the day after tomorrow. Their sad little faces were enough to make me want to rethink leaving them behind. I was sure EJ wouldn't mind but that would give rise to suspicions about our rekindled relationship which needs to remain under wraps for now.

"I love you guys and I will see you in a few day…okay?" I called out to them with their faces dragged on the floor as Mary took them upstairs.

It's always hard to leave them behind, I get very irrational and I have never been able to flush the anxiety I feel when I get separated from either Sydney or Johnny. EJ had told a thousand times it was one of the reason he fell in love with me…a constant between us; unchanging even when we were fighting and throwing things at each other.

Now I'm off to face Stefano, it should be a piece of cake but I am apprehensive. I have had this nagging sensation since we got on the road this morning. I have dealt with Stefano before so there is nothing new here…no surprises…but it doesn't help to be prepared for ANYTHING where he was concerned.

I find him in the living room as Mary said. He's sitting in his favourite spot, behind the chess board, smoking his favoured cigar brand.

I have no time for pleasantries, "You wanted to see me," I blurt out.

His eyes as black as night, they look down on me even though I am towering over him. He's dressed in immaculate tailor-ship, everything Italian; the man does have taste. The black jacket is accentuated by the deep red shirt…the colour of blood.

"Stop it, Nicole…" I think reprovingly,

"Sit down and play with me," he commands.

It doesn't take a second before I am face to face with possibly the most dangerous individual in Salem…in the U.S….hell in the whole world and he wants to play a game of chess with me. This is not good, he's too calm, his tranquillity hides his sinister intent from an untrained observer but I have learnt well over the years. EJ does take after this man after all.

"Do you know how to play?

I taught Elvis the intricacies of the game since before he could read and write. He is a quick learner that one."

"Why doesn't that surprise me…?" I say.

He ignores me.

"Did you know that no one has ever bested me in chess before…no one…except Elvis. After years and years of failure after failure my son did the impossible. We had been playing this particular round for months and neither of us was giving an inch to the other. Until suddenly my boy surprised me, he was cunning and vicious.

He finished the game in two moves. I had never been more proud than I was that day."

"Stefano I didn't come here for a history lesson or any lesson for that matter. You wanted to talk so talk or else…"

"The second time my son made me proud was the day he became Mayor of Salem. He showed the same amount of tenacity, resilience and dedication. He did the impossible no father could ever be more proud than I was that day."

"You could have fooled me. You weren't the first to congratulate him and even then you disappeared soon after until uh…five minutes ago. You say you are proud of EJ and his accomplishments but you're practically invisible in his life; popping up only when it suits you. You haven't exactly been around when he needed you during this campaign and when you are around, you seem to bring him down…a lot. So forgive me if I'm unmoved by your praise."

I've clearly lost my mind, there's no other explanation behind this out burst against the patriarch Dimera regarding his relationship with his son.

His face exhibits no emotion; I don't think it registered to him what I was implying, maybe it did and Stefano is not only master at chess but is a damn good poker player to boot…I doesn't matter, there's no turning back. I have long given up trying to please EJ's family; nothing I do will ever be good enough for them.

"What do you want Stefano?" I ask more bluntly.

"I want to know what stunt you are pulling with my son."

"I am not pulling anything…"

"Don't play games with me, little girl; I'm not to be trifled with. You see a streetwalker never changes spots…or is a leopard…"

"Huh…for your granddaughter's sake, I am going to pretend you didn't say that to me."

"Tell me what it is you are doing to EJ…"

…DOING…to EJ…? What is this old man on about?

"He finally gets rid of you, but somehow like the gutter snake you are, you've managed to crawl your way back into his life under dubious pretensions of managing his mayoral campaign. He is mayor now and therefore doesn't need you around anymore but you're still here. I swear you have more lives than an ally cat…and certainly less morals!"

"Excuse me…!"

"I have watched you from the moment you walked through those doors, snatching up a chance to lead my son by his lapels like some love sick puppy. Elvis doesn't sneeze unless you say so. I know about that oh so clever idea of yours to announce your separation to the whole world…only thing is…you are separated are you?"

"I don't see how that is any of your business really. My relationship with Elvis, professional or otherwise is off limits. EJ is his own man…at least as far as he's able to get away from you. You have forced him to live a stunted life, forever imprisoned in trying to meet your impossible Stefano Dimera standards. I happen to be good at what I do which is something he fully appreciates and is able to reap the rewards. I got YOUR son elected as Mayor…me, Nicole Walker.

The fact of the matter is that we happen to work well together; I don't care if it offends your ancient stuffy sensibilities. As long as EJ is happy, I am happy doing what I do."

"Is that why you are meeting him for in Chicago?"

So he knows…

"…Again, none of your business…"

"That my dear is where you are wrong, this is my son and that makes it my business. You have him so blinded he can't smell past the trash in front of him."

"That's my cue to leave…it wasn't a pleasure as always!" I push back my chair.

"WE ARE NOT DONE HERE!" he shouts.

"Oh yes we are.

Stefano, you may get off in scaring half of this town and intimidating the other but I am no typical Salemite; I am no push over. I believe in EJ and his plans for this rickety old family of yours and Salem as a whole or else I wouldn't be here. I have put up with your uncouth attitude from not only you but Lexi as well.

I have not forgotten in any degree what your sick and twisted mind games with both your son and Sami cost me. I am NOT your puppet, never have and never will be. If whether or not I want to work for EJ; it's not really up to you. If I want f*ck his brains out from here till the cows come home, there's really nothing you and your threats can do about it.

I am here to stay in whatever capacity as long as EJ needs me to…deal with it.

I will call you once I get to Chicago to check on Sydney and Johnny…goodbye!"


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18:

I am on my way to the Trump International Hotel where EJ's waiting for me. I am trying my hardest to not let what Stefano said earlier get to me. The impossible has happened and I won't let the old man ruin it for me…for my family. I will not make the mistake of walking away just because that is what is expected.

The day is almost coming to a close; I have avoided speaking to EJ all day. I needed him to focus on the real reason behind this trip to Chicago. As the new Mayor, he had to relinquish his position as CEO of Dimera Industries. It wasn't easy for him to do so but he did.

Salem needs new blood, the purpose of this trip was to bring in new investors to help rebuild Salem's economy. Small businesses have taken a beating in the past several years. He wants funding for every kind of development from grassroots level, revitalising the three primary sectors; education, health and the economy.

It crossed his mind to invest some of his Dimera money, something specifically I advised him to never do. Money out of his pocket will always be viewed as tainted…blood money; he still needs to build their trust in him and it's not easy especially with a father who believes in the "Old Ways" of handling situations.

I have asked him what his intentions were for the people of Salem and his answer is always the same.

"I want them to believe in the Dimera name, to trust in that name, forgetting the past…the old ways are done."

"How serious are you about this task, is it a genuine undertaking or is it superficial?"

"Darling, how can you ask me that?"

"Because Honey, I know you. I know the blood that courses through your veins…you are 'Dimera'. I know this and I know you know it too. I am just trying to understand your reasoning behind this being mayor business."

"I am what I am…"

"This is true but…"

"For the sake of my family…our family, this name will stand for something different. No more blood feuds to last generations. No more burying people in the back yards and going after their entire family, even the dog. When our children come of age, they will never ever have to worry about being looked down upon every time they walk into a room. I want to bring honour back into my family…"

"In other words, you are going legit?"

"What do you think…?"

He never answered me.

"We're here…" says the driver before he rolled up the opaque glass screen of the stretch limo; at EJ's insistence.

"If I had my way your beautiful feet would never ever touch the ground again," he told me once.

"Who are you, and what have you done to my Elvis."

"He's where he has always been…right here adoring you in every way imaginable." He said then kissed me.

I take another minute or three to think on that night before my worst nightmare happened. Even though time has passed and so much has happened between then and now, EJ's has remained constant, in his love and in everything else. I had forgotten about the promise he made me that night until I got off his jet just thirty minutes ago.

Our life together is coming back to me in a way that has nullified the two months separation. I can barely remember my anger…my resentment…the betrayal. It all seems a horrible dream. So this time together means so much more; there's no Sami, no Stefano, no voters, no elections…the people of Salem have been back burned for the next two amazing days before some of it creeps back in.

Why in the hell did I tell him to hold off on making our reunion official. I can't bear to be away from him and neither can he. Sydney and Johnny have picked up on the change, Stefano knows…perhaps I overstepped.

I want to be with EJ…to really be with him as his wife. I don't want to hide behind my job title. We are barely a week since we finally worked out our issues and yet we are not really together. I want to walk out this car and pull him down for a hot kiss right in the middle of that lobby and not care who is watching.

The door opens and as I am about to step out, the shadow of a bulky man causes me to stay. As the figure fills out the opening, he soon after forces me further back into the vehicle, causing my skirt to ride high against my thighs. I pull down my sides as the man sits across from me.

"Excuse me but who the hell are you and what are you doing in my car?"

"We both know this…all of this is not yours. It belongs to your husband…no excuse me, your ex-husband."

He is a walking paradox…a face of an angel and a voice to lull a baby to sleep but something…. I can feel it, despite the warmth I am sheathed in a chill emanating from the man in front of me. His eyes are the colour of the sky; his hair is as if kissed by the golden sun, bequeathing him with ethereal beauty.

He's dangerous.

"You'll have to excuse me, I have a pressing appointment to attend," I say, masking a fear that was creeping up on me from the moment he let himself in.

"I know…" he sneers.

"What do you want from me?"

"It's not you we want…not yet. Junior has neglected his obligations and my associates are not impressed to say the least. He is in breach of contract and my people are traditionalists, the young mayor owes certain homage to those who run this city."

"Why come to me then? EJ has been in the city for days."

"What did he say again…ahh yes, his 'wife…right hand woman'. Those are very strong words, don't you think?" he flashes me his pearly whites.

Damn it! "Just stay calm…just stay calm…" I think furiously to myself.

"We're divorced, haven't you heard?

"What's a piece of paper worth these days?

I came to you because I believe you are a woman of sense…you won him this election after all."

"You're wasting my time…you think Mr Dimera is somehow encroaching on your territory; I can assure you he most certainly isn't. He's simply here to conduct business. What ever you think he is; that is not the case. He is Mayor and that is the only thing that brings him to this city.

He's not here on his own capacity, but as a representative of the people of Salem. If your associates have a problem with that perhaps it is with Mr Stefano Dimera because as of three weeks ago, E…Mr Dimera hasn't had any dealings with his father's business…I assume that is the real reason we are having this little backseat meeting of ours."

He says nothing but just sits there and gives me this creepy smile as if he knows I am sacred witless.

"Wow, he sure knows how to pick them. Maybe we were presumptuous in our estimate of you, Mrs Dimera. You don't appear to frighten easily enough…"

"Am I supposed to be?" I ask boldly, completely devoid of any sense of self-preservation.

I am walking a very tight rope with no safety net but a pool encircled by a ravenous great white.

He looks me over yet again, sizing me up to see if I am bluffing or just stupid.

"It's really up to you.

Allow me to be abrupt; perhaps even out of line… you are an incredibly alluring woman. I can see now why he is so attached to you. Your looks don't do you justice but who am I to talk.

You remind me of my mother you know. She had your colouring and even more of that spunk and self assurance I see in your eyes. She was a queen in her own right however it was that same disposition that finally landed her where she now lays under a pile of rotting leaves in an unmarked grave. She left two little ones to fend for them selves in this harsh cold world."

"Oh my…. It was just a matter of time before he finally played that card. Images of Sydney and Johnny, my two beautiful angels…Stop it Nicole, don't let him see your fear! Think of something else, focus your mind on happy thoughts…like having him quartered or something.

"I don't want that, you don't want that…Mr Dimera doesn't want that."

"Are we done?" I ask in a tone resonating in disgust and impatient.

"I believe we are.

Please tell your dear Mayor that Edison sends his regards and congratulations on a landmark win.

It was a pleasure Mrs Dimera…" he says and opens the door to leave.

"No, please the pleasure was mine!" these words are the only parting shot I could come up with under the circumstances.

I look out my window at the entrance of the hotel, somewhere in the EJ is waiting…

"George, drive…!" I call out to my driver who I hope is still breathing.

"George... George, are you still there? GEORGE…?" I finally scream.

"Yes…uh….ma'am I am hear. I'm sorry about that; I was just listening to the game. Is there something you wanted?" he flusters, embarrassed.

I don't have time for this…

"George, drive…I don't care where to just as long as you drive."

"Is something the matter Ma'am?"

"If I wanted you to talk, I would have said so. Now do as I ask OR ELSE…"

"Yes Ma'am…drive…I will do exactly that!"

I slip the card into the slot and push back the hotel door…


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19:

The time I spent in that limo after 'angel-face' left was the hardest, I couldn't think…function beyond recalling every syllable he spoke. For all my bravado in front of that man, I knew exactly what was going. EJ being mayor had suddenly opened up his life to so many things and the worst of all was the possibility of his very criminal lifestyle coming to the fore.

He told me that he was putting most of his previous life behind if not some of it. For all intents and purposes he was going legit. It never occurred to me that there would be people unwilling to let him do that. Who ever this Edison individual is, they are probably not the first and I'm not foolish enough to believe they will be the last.

My life was perfect, I was never at any given time exposed to the underbelly of his family 'business', it was for my own protection he claimed. I never took him seriously until half an hour ago. I not only saw a glimpse of his dark world but I saw the whole saw every gory detail of what could happen if and when things escalate to the true horror I no doubt believe is possible.

My head is about to crack open at the thought of anything happening to him…to Sydney and Johnny but what can I do? The real question is what will EJ do? I know him, I know what he is predisposed to do and I know what it will cost him to do it. I can't let it happen…I won't.

"It's now or never Nikki," my mind points out the obvious.

The door opens wider into a darkened suite with the faintest glow to my left. I could turn around and go back to Salem, my body aches. He will take one look at me and know. Returning to Salem will be a thousand times worse, he promised to chase me down and that was when I believed everything was all good and now that I know it isn't…

I step over the threshold and the door practically slams behind me.

"I thought you'd never get here…" a sexy British accent rings in my ear…EJ.

His arms encircle me pulling me up against him.

"What took you so long…your flight touched down hours ago?"

Barely five minutes and already he knows something's up. I'm trying not to panic.

"Mmm what's that?" I ask trying to lead him in the direction of the only light in the room.

He pauses as he separates me from my luggage.

"It's a candle lit dinner for my gorgeous wife…" he says.

"…But we are not married."

"A technicality Darling…something I plan on rectifying as soon as possible." He says.

"Soon…?"

"We'd be man and wife by now if I had my way, long before I even became the Mayor."

"Speaking of…how did the meetings go? Did you get everything you wanted?"

"No-no-no, absolutely no work tonight…or tomorrow night for that matter, I forbid it There will not be any more talks of budget, crime statistics, unemployment rates or any such nonsense.

So come with me my Love, our dinner waits!" he says, leading me away.

Dinner was stifling. I could barely string a sentence together. The roast duck tasted like cardboard.

I am resting in his arms in front of the flames of the roaring fire. The feel of the warmth of his body is soothing, ironing out the tension that had crept up on me since I walked through the door.

"Darling you seem awfully quiet, is something the matter?"

"No, nothing is wrong. This…everything is perfect as it should be."

"Well something is bothering you because I feel like you're a million miles away…where did you go earlier?"

For one crazy moment I imagine what would happen if I told him but the message from this Edison. To say he will freak is an understatement. The lightly veiled threat to me and the kids would plunge EJ into a darkness I don't want for either of us. After months of trying to change that very image I cannot let it happen.

"I went to see Chloe and little Parker." The words rush out uninhibited.

"She and Phillip are trying to work things out for their baby's sake."

He gives me a wary look, gauging if my words are true or not.

"I missed her and thought you wouldn't miss me, at least not for another hour."

"Wrong!

I missed you every second of every minute I spent away from you. You could have called me and told me instead of having me worried that maybe you were kidnapped or something." he says seriously.

"Really EJ, what would give you that crazy idea, me…kidnapped; who would… oh never mind…" I say as I push down the nervous flutters swelling from the pit of my stomach

This is not good.

"So you and Phillip…?" he says after an awkward silence. We never ever had moments of strange, odd silences where no words are spoken. This could quickly turn against me.

"I hardly saw him, like I said I went see my friend who missed me dearly. She's been rather lonely since moving all the way out here. Her singing keeps her busy…that and Parker.

I know that this Phillip business upsets you; it wasn't my intention at all to do that. He left immediately after I showed up." I say, piling one lie after another.

Suddenly I am wrought with an unfamiliar feeling, guilt. I am lying to his face but I have no choice. As long as he stays the course, I can deal with my own conscience another time, away from his inquisitive yet loving eyes. It is strange, how I would rather he be upset over me seeing Phillip than actually know the truth. I will have to call Chloe as soon as I can.

"Can we talk about something else?"

My heart s beating so fast I can almost taste it.

"Are you alright? You look pale. Nicole, you know you can tell me anything…" he stresses the last word.

His look is literally shouting at me, he knows… I am cornered.

"Come on Nicole, you are master at subterfuge." I think to self, but it's a lot harder than I thought it would be.

"I'm great. I couldn't be better." I speak each word steadily. "I have been looking forward to this time…with you, without a care in the world.

He caresses me, stroking my arms gently in the fire-lit room. I miss these quiet delicate moments of our life together. As passion filled our previous life was, it was times like this where I felt so safe being in his arms, loved…cherished…adored.

"Nicole…?"

I turn my head to look shyly into his eyes.

"I love you…no matter what happens. Nothing…no one will ever come between us ever again, do you hear me?

I will make sure of it; even if it's the last thing I ever do in this world!"

"Stop it, don't say that! You make it sound like something terrible is going to happen. We're together now and it's going to stay that way." I say passionately.

"Good…I'm glad we are on the same page.

I spoke to father today…" He says suddenly, changing the subject.

I remain silent, barely paying attention.

"He said some really interesting things."

"Oh he did…?" I say mindlessly.

It took me a few more seconds to realise what he was talking about.

"Oh you mean my talk with your dear old Dad. He was ever so charming as usual; I couldn't tear myself away fast enough."

"What exactly did you say to him, he was so incensed?"

"I was only stating that what I do or don't do with you isn't any of his business but this is Stefano we are talking about. He just pushed too many of my buttons I may have gone to far in making my point."

"He alluded to something in particular and I have been wrecking my brain trying to work out what it is." He says into my ear.

I can hear from the thrill in his voice he already knows what I said. He just wants to hear me say it.

"I do wonder myself what he could have meant. I can't recollect my words precisely…

What did he say? He may have twisted everything to make me out into a bad guy."

"It's more like a bad girl…a very bad girl…" He smiles.

"Me…?"

"Yes you, I know you know what I am talking about so don't play innocent with me Mrs Dimera."

I love it when he calls me that even when it's not true…for the moment.

"I have no idea what you're talking about…Mr Dimera!" I counter.

"My ears literally burned when father said…"

"Okay, okay…there's no need to relive my one moment of shamelessness with the great Stefano Dimera.

How embarrassing…how will I ever face your father again after what I said?"

He laughs heartily, a musical sound I missed dearly in the time we were apart.

"I don't care about father or what he thinks."

"You don't?'

"No, in fact I am ONLY interested in just one thing."

"Really…?"

"Yes and what I want to know is did you mean it?"

"I'm not sure I just wanted to say something…anything to get your father off my case. So I said the first thing that popped into my head. I didn't mean it." I say with a straight face.

"Are you sure about that?" he says as his hands begin trailing seductively up and down my exposed flesh, taking his time to rouse a reaction from not just my lips but my entire body.

"Are you sure about that…? He asks one more time.

Like guitar strings in the hands of a master my body responds at his every touch.

"I love you Nicole," he says.

"I love you…so very much, never forget that."

His smile melts into long awaited kisses.

I do love him, more than I thought humanly possible.

I roll over to his empty place on the king sized bed. My eyelids are drunk with sleep, and are too heavy to open on command.

Where's EJ gone to?

The fog of sleep returns double time as I hear his voice in the distance.

He's on the phone but I'm too out of it to work out who it could be that he's shouting orders to.

"I'm not paying you to ask questions… I pay you to do as I say, when I say! Triple the security… He came after Nicole… Nothing better happen to…I will make them all pay!

"EJ…?"


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20:

Those two days were near pure bliss since they started on a bad note but. EJ and I never set foot outside the suite. The outside world ceased to exist. There was no Stefano, no Edison, and no strange secretive calls in the dead of night. It was every thing I imagined it would be and so much more.

But like all good things, they must come to an end.

The moment his jet touched the tar at Salem Airport EJ reminded me of every thing I disliked about him. I can handle EJ at his worst what I tend to have trouble with is when he uses his not so charming persona on me. He is a bully, a tyrant to say the least.

It isn't long before he barks out orders.

"Nicole, you and Sydney are moving back into the house!" he says.

I pretend not to hear him. As we drive away from the airport.

"You have played this independent woman long enough; I want you home…with me…where you belong. I know this is sudden but let's stop playing games and do what we both know we want."

Oh…? I take one or two deep breaths before I answer him. Suddenly that call in the middle of the night makes sense.

I had a restless first night after overhearing that ominous call; images of a bloodied EJ haunted my dreams. If it wasn't his grave I saw it was his and mine with poor Sydney and Johnny left helpless to their grandfather's penchant for more blood and revenge. When I woke from the nightmare reaching its crescendo, it was in his loving arms that I was reassured and that those evil images never returned. I felt relief and I could almost swear at one stage he held me tighter making me feel safe…chasing away the fear simmering beneath.

Finally dawn broke.

I had convinced myself I dreamt the whole thing (Edison…the call) when EJ appeared normal or rather jovial the following morning. We were laughing and joking in between all the kissing and the loving, not once did I remember the nightmare, I had no reason to because this ogre of an Englishman never made an appearance; bringing to memory everything I would rather forget.

Without thinking I utter the words I am sure he is loathe to hear.

"No EJ that is not happening…for both our sakes," I say as calmly as I am able.

"Nicole you don't understand…"

"I understand perfectly. I can see it in your eyes. You are like a man dying of thirst suddenly coming across a savannah. You know, how that is I can't imagine but you know what happened to me in Chicago that day.

I heard you talking on the phone, I thought I was dreaming but it's all true."

"And so you know why you must come home with me right now. Let's not waste any more time…"

"How…? How did you find out, tell me?"

"It doesn't matter how I know, only that this is very serious and I can't protect you and my daughter when you are not living under my roof."

"EJ I am not a child I can protect myself…"

"What do you call what you did then, I asked you where you were, and you actually lied to me!"

Why is it when the more things change, the more they stay the same?

"It was for your…"

"PROTECTION…?" He snarls.

"What makes this any different to what you did?" he asks angrily.

He furiously pushes back his hair, although there's not much of it since he cut it just before the elections. I had been begging him t, the clean cut made him seem more comely and approachable and less British if that was at all possible.

The realisation that the really is no difference hits me hard. Both of us want to protect the other.

"The difference EJ is that I am not salivating at the chance of killing someone just to protect my family. Can you actually say the same?"

"Can you blame me?

I ask my wife where she was and she lies to me, feeding me a story about her best friend and a man I hate only second to Brady Black. Did you think I wouldn't worry, that I wouldn't know exactly what was going on?"

"Oh my goodness, you had me followed, how else could you know about Chloe and Phillip unless you had one of your hounds trailing me? I guess the real question is how long have you been following me, if you ever stopped?"

Oh no…he looks as guilty as sin. EJ following me has never sat well with me; I felt as though my privacy was violated somehow and told him time and time again never to do that especially when we were together. I thought…I believed he heeded my plea but he didn't…obviously!

"Don't be absurd Nicole. I haven't done such a thing not since the last time you cornered me about it and that was months ago." He covers.

"I don't believe you!" I throw the words at him.

"Darling, why are we arguing about this? We were deliriously happy minutes ago and now we are at each other's throats." his silky voice reaches deep within fettering my anger.

"Because we keep doing the same old dance and neither of us have the guts to sit it out and say enough. If it's not the lying EJ, it's the going behind each other's backs in the name of…whatever it is that is going on here.

I love you and I…will die loving you but don't you tire of…all of this?" I say despondently.

"Nikki, please don't talk like that?

You want the truth, here it is. I knew you had not gone to see your friend because Phillip had told me earlier that she had gone to see her parents for the weekend and that he was joining them immediately after our business was conducted…Phillip's company is amongst the businesses I want investing not just money but skills back into Salem. He was gone long before you arrived in Chicago.

That is the truth."

"Fine…explain the call to me? Are you going back on your word? You said you were turning over a new leaf for your children's sake? Was that a lie?"

"You are putting words into my mouth. I never said I was turning over anything. I said I wanted people to perceive me differently so my children can be proud of their heritage!"

"Oh forgive me for thinking they were one and the same thing."

"Bloody hell there's no reasoning with you is there. You know exactly why I ran for Mayor. You bloody well helped me to win; now suddenly you question me. I thought I made myself perfectly clear that I would never change, Nicole!"

"That doesn't mean you revert back into the thug…You know what you are right. There is no point in arguing with you about this. We will only end up saying things we will regret. I was just hoping that maybe when we returned home we would keep living in that beautiful Chicago bubble, where we were so happy but I was wrong."

"But we can, all you have to do is move back home with me."

This is not how I imagined our reunion would be. I envisioned that I would finally find peace but instead my insides have twisted into too many knots I cannot untie. It seems the more we talk the more we fight and make each other angry. EJ is his father's son, through and through. I had made myself believe that Stefano didn't have that strong a hold over him.

But this IS the man I fell in love with. A man that was as broken as I was, a man who has had a hard life despite all the money in the world. We craved the same things, to be whole and miraculously we found it in each other. The road to love was perilous and filled with heartache but in the end we were always of the same mind. In the beginning I swore to him I never wanted him to change, that I loved him exactly as he was, I did and he did me.

I fear now that I am somehow the one who has changed.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21:

"Marry me?

Come HOME with me?" he says softly.

"…If you won't do this for me…for us at least to it for our daughter. There are people who won't think twice about hurting you just to hurt me; you have already met one of them."

I have never known EJ to fear anything, let alone another man. He was always so cavalier even when Brady almost had him down for the count. EJ always seemed super human at times; like nothing could touch him…at least where it counts.

"Nicole, please…?"

"Is it that serious?" a stupid question but somehow I need to be certain.

A look in his eyes tells me all I need to know.

"Look I understand why you would be hesitant but if you knew what I know, you would see the prudence of it all. I am not trying to frighten you or bully you as you so kindly keep reminding me every time you think I am strong arming you into doing something that you don't exactly agree with."

"...Why the sudden urgency to have us move? I am fine where I am, nobody knows where Sydney and I live…you made sure of that."

"Darling if I really wanted to find someone, I would find them no matter how well they tried to stay hidden. Journalist, for all their trickery at finding things out don't stake their very lives on finding people that don't want to be found; these people do.

So your little cottage in the a nice quiet suburb is the last place a busybody nosy know it all would ever think to look for you but for an upstart mobster trying to make a name for himself by going against my family, there is no rock he will not look under to try and find you.

You will be a sitting duck out there and unless you are trying to put me in the grave long before it is my time, it will be more than just wise to move back home, where you belong. There I can watch over my two very beautiful girls, where I can take care of the both of you and we can be a real family as it should have been."

"Aren't you perhaps exaggerating a bit?"

He laughs mirthlessly before his countenance turns a weird mash up of concern and fear. It's not a fear for his own well being I see in his eyes…

"Tell me…tell me what you were thinking that day…when…" he stops himself, unable to utter the words.

"I don't remember…"

"Yes you do…tell me!" he says with a heaviness that engulfs us both, leading us down an un-chartered path with danger at every turn.

"I was scared.

I wasn't afraid for myself, don't misunderstand me. I knew exactly the type of man was sitting across from me that day." I say.

I see EJ, clenching his fists, his jaw set in steel. He turns his face away from view.

It wasn't my life that flashed before me…it was you…and the kids." I continue, my eyes filling up unabated. I try to bat them away but the harder I try not to cry the more I do.

"The thought of losing you is something I knew I couldn't bear. It hurt just thinking about my life without you in it. And when this guy started talking about his mother and how she died when he was no older than Johnny, I felt…I can't even say it."

EJ is so wound up there are visible marks on his hands, neck and face. I suddenly regret every word I spoke.

"Now try if you can to multiply that by a thousand to the power of infinity…that is what I am feeling this very moment. I am literally forcing down every emotion, every thought…every wild imagining that is ready to consume my very last shred sanity.

I cannot lose you…I WON'T LOSE YOU!

Call me an ass…a royal class a bastard if you want; just don't ask me to…NEVER ASK ME TO…

In the time that we were apart, I died a million different ways each day that we were not together. I dreamt of you night after night, you were always just out of reach, but constantly luring me to come to you. And when I found you, you would vanish right before my eyes.

I dreaded going to sleep, I even changed rooms but because I missed you scent so much I returned soon after to my personal torture chamber because even though I knew what heartache awaited me on the other side, like an addict, I craved to see you, to touch you, to kiss you, to feel you within me, however flittingly it all was.

What got me through that time was that I knew we belonged together and you would come to realise this and therefore come back to me.

If anything were to EVER happen to you, it is suffice to say ALL would cease to exist for me! I would die the very moment you breathe your last. I love you too damn much, against my better judgment, against my better instinct.

I love you Nicole Dimera, I love you more than is humanly possible for a man to love a woman." He says. His face still turned away from mine.

His body is shaking from the moment of true openness; something EJ has often robbed me, even when we were deliriously happy. My heart is so full I swear it is about to burst from the raw emotions he has awakened in me…my love…hunger for only him!

"Yes…" I say, tears streaming down my face.

"Yes…?"

"Yes…I will come home."

I take his face in my hands as I look into those deep…perfect big brown eyes.

"YES, I will come home with you."

Our lips touch…gently and purely as though for the first time. Each moment savoured.

"I love you too Mr Dimera and I would love nothing more than to be you wife, once and for all."

He sighs in relief, as though he had been holding his breath the entire time. I feel the same.

"LET'S GO HOME!" We say in perfect unison.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22:

We talked almost all night long following our return from Chicago. We talked about our wedding whether or not to go public or to keep it private. We talked about what we would tell the kids in the mean time. Would we live as man and wife until it became official? What was the safest option for our family?

He told his father about Chicago.

There's nothing like being under Stefano's scrutiny. I don't know how many times he demanded answers from me… "WHAT DID YOU SAY? WHAT DID HE SAY ABOUT ELVIS…DID HE MENTION THE CHILDREN BY THEIR NAME? HOW LONG DID YOU TALK WITH THIS MAN? DID YOU KNOW HIM?" On and on it went until I finally lost it and told him to take his questions and shove it.

He told EJ I was being secretive again, hiding important things from them because I finally got what I wanted…EJ. All I had to do was fabricate a story about some stranger and threats to Sydney and Johnny's lives so that "Elvis" would have no choice but take me back.

He called me every name under the sun right there in front of EJ and I was ready to defend myself to him as I have always done. My relationship with Stefano has never recovered from the time of Sydney's kidnapping. He still bears a deep seeded grudge against me but I am not fool to expect the old man to welcome me with open arms just because a son he loves dearly loves me, or that Sydney turned out to be my daughter after all.

"THAT'S ENOUGH FATHER! IF YOU CANNOT FIND EVEN ONE CIVILISED BONE IN YOUR BODY TO REFRAIN FROM INSULTING MY LOVE, THE MOTHER OF MY CHILD, THEN I AM AFRAID THIS IS WHERE WE PART WAYS…PERMANENTLY!

I love Nicole very deeply and as long as she'll have me you have to find some way to deal with that; or else get out!"

It was like a slap in the face, Stefano was more than shocked. His son has never dared speak to him such a manner.

"Father you know I love you, but I cannot stand by and let you continue in this fashion, Nicole is my future and nothing will ever change that. We are going to be a family and that's that!

Edison is over reaching if he thinks he can threaten us. I may be Mayor of Salem but I am still a Dimera by blood. He won't get away with this." He said.

I pushed down the recurring fear for EJ as I listened to him expound on the effective ways to make his enemies think twice before coming after him or any member of his family.

Despite that little blight on our reunion, things began to settle down soon after his father's departure. By some miracle we managed to forget this dark cloud hanging over us.

EJ put off work for a few extra days just so we could spend time as a family. Johnny and Sydney were characteristically thrilled to have their parents together. We took outdoor picnics, went treasure hunting and even had time for a field trip to the zoo. Those were the most blessed days I have ever had in my life.

Seeing these tiny smiling faces, flushed from spending so much time outdoors brings me near to tears on more than just one occasion. I watch them closely, drinking in their innocent perspective of the world around them even when Johnny, befallen with a need to watch his sister squirm, I love every minute of it.

I am truly engulfed in a moment reminiscent of my own child hood no matter how vastly different their childhood is to mine. We are out enjoying a day in the sun in the now fully bloom garden as Johnny chases his sister with a hand full of muddy worms, threatening to dump the lot in her hair. Brandon did the same to me hundreds of times a lifetime ago. Sydney screams her lungs out citing how mean her brother is being, crying for her mother.

EJ just laughs at the pair as Syd runs for safety in my arms. I am overcome by the look of relief in my daughter's face as she clings to me for dear life…I never had that luxury when I was her age. And watching Johnny apologise for terrorising her senseless and to see Sydney's readiness to forgive him completely does me in. It isn't long before they are off plotting and laughing together as though nothing sinister happened.

How different things were for me back then; and somehow very much similar to the scenes that played out before me. My brother was always the first to raise my blood pressure, pulling my hair, making me hate the site of gardens for fear of having to wash away icky worms from my hair but never once did I doubt his love for me.

Brandon was my place of safety…the only person I trusted to look after me for the very longest of time. Paul very nearly destroyed me, Fay was hardly a mother, she gave birth to me alright but I never felt safe, the woman barely held me although she always she claimed she loved me. Taylor was always the sweetheart, the darling who could do no wrong and I don't even blame her. There is only one bright spot in my upbringing and that is Brandon!

I look at Sydney and Johnny and I swear that it will be different for them. Johnny may not be mine by blood but through EJ he is every bit as much mine as Sydney is. I will foster the strong bond I had with my brother that Sydney will have with Johnny. Whatever chaos may come into their lives, they will always have each other and unlike my mother I will be there for my kids for everything, in good times or bad or those in between. They will never question or doubt my love for them.

I will give them everything I was denied. Sydney will always know she can not only me but her big brother, that he will be there always to help her, to take care of her and provide for her as Brandon did for me!

My memories are bitter sweet. I miss my brother dearly. It was hard to let him go; he just kissed my forehead and held me tightly saying how I was the strongest person he had ever known. He had accepted a job in New York branch of the company he worked for.

I remember crying and begging him not to leave me alone, who would chase away my nightmares as only Brandon; who would take care of me? He just held me until I was all cried out and then said to me, "Nikki, it was you who always took care of me all these years. I know how hard it was for you but you never let life get you down. You took care of all of us. You shouldn't have had to but you did anyway.

Who was it that always made sure we had something to eat when Mom would disappear for weeks while looking for work and we didn't know where she was? Who helped Taylor with her school work and actually made sure she finished school and went to collage, it sure wasn't me? I know the sacrifices you made, I am who I am, and I have achieved all of this…because of you. I may be your big brother but you were the mother I never had. I will never forget what you did for me and I will never be able to repay you.

My very dear, beautiful and kind hearted sister, take heart. We will never truly be apart, what is a few several hundred miles going to do? Don't cry…please don't cry Nikki, you know I can't bear to see you sad.

Okay…you want me to stay here, I'll stay!" he said.

"NO-NO, don't…"

"Which is it Nikki, tell me and I will do it?" he said seriously and I believed he meant it. I was desperate for him to stay but I knew what a great opportunity he would miss out if he stayed because of me.

"Of course I want you to go; it's just that I am going to miss my only brother, my one and only friend in the world. Don't listen to me; it's the self pity that's talking." I tried to reassure him he was doing the right thing leaving me behind.

"Are you sure you will not be lonely without me, I know Taylor hasn't been back since she left for Brown." He said, suddenly doubting himself.

I'll be fine, I always am. I don't know what has come over me lately…maybe it's the heat.

Go…go, don't worry about me. You said it yourself I am superwoman." I covered.

I watched his plane until it was no longer visible from where I stood. I locked myself in my tiny flat for days, miserable. I missed him a thousand times more than I thought. My life was never the same since then.

I had resigned myself to being miserable and lonely because there wasn't a single human being who understood me, who saw through me and knew me like Brandon did. There was no one…for years…until a certain Englishman who is now reclined on the blanket across from me, came into my life. Brandon was my only friend but EJ…EJ is my best friend!

"Are you alright?" EJ's voice calls me back to the present.

"Sorry…?"

"Darling you looked like you were a million miles away a second ago; you've been so quiet." He says taking my hand in his.

"I was…? I'm sorry I guess I got caught up in my thoughts."

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asks gently squeezing my hand.

"It's nothing…I was just remembering my brother. Looking at Sydney with Johnny just brought back some things I thought I had forgotten.

"Is it good memories?" he asks unsurely.

"Yes…it was all good; at least where he was concerned. I didn't realise how much I had missed him till today. I should stop right now, I'm sure you don't want to hear this."

"I know…I know," he says.

EJ lifts my hand and holds it to his lips.

"Nikki, look at me…look into my eyes." He says and takes my other hand in his.

"What are you doing?" I ask him.

"It's okay; you know you can trust me right?"

I nod my head even though I don't understand what he's doing. He shifts his body until he's on his knees looking down on me. The endless well of his eyes is peering down into my very soul, making me nervous somehow.

"No, don't turn away I want you to look at me when I say this.

I know how hard things were for you growing up and it has made you into this goddess I see before me. You are beautiful inside and out. I don't understand why you think so little of yourself, dismissing your value in my eyes. I find it an honour that you are a part of my life; I don't know how I would survive without you in it. It's the truth and you know it.

What I am trying to say is this I promise…no I swear you from this very day; you will never know a single day of loneliness, of shame for who and what you are You are the love of my life and the mother of my children. You have made me the happiest man in all the earth. I am incredibly blessed to be loved by you I only hope I can do the same.

I don't need a ring on my finger to pledge my undying love for you and only you. You have the only real treasure…the only wealth I can give you that silver or gold, not even diamonds can compete…my heart.

You are the only person who ever sought it out and found it buried deep within this cold harsh, dangerous place. I didn't know who I was. I wandered wastelands until you helped me discover the man I always longed to be.

You are my life and where you are, I am right there with you. You will never ever walk this earth without me right by your side. I am forever stuck with you Nicole Walker, so get used to having a crowded life."

"How stuck is stuck?"

He looks about the garden and spots the children by the rose bushes. EJ gives me a mischievous smile…oh no not with the kids right there.

"Nicole, you don't think I would…that we would…"He says innocently.

"No of course not," I fib but I can't fool him.

"Really Nic what do you take me for?

I kiss him to placate him and me and he responds easily enough.

"It might be wise to back off right about now if you're so worried about the little ones. We will have to postpone until a more favourable time." he says and kisses me some more.

"Oh bloody hell who am I kidding…CYNTHIAAAAAA!" He yells so loud nearly shattering my eardrum.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23:

Now that EJ has been sworn in as the new Mayor, I thought I would work less in changing the 'gangster' image engraved into his core according to ordinary citizens of Salem, I was wrong. I have to work doubly hard to ensure all of EJ's goals are realised.

His approval rating is nothing to write home about. I have to keep fresh in people's mind the idea that EJ actually has the best interest of the town in mind.

"Nicole, tell me you have a plan in lace to change these figures. If I continue to drop at this rate, I will soon find myself out of a job." He says to me one Wednesday morning.

We are sitting in his newly furbished office, not far from the city square, where he will be as close to the people as he would ever dare. He's dressed in blue today but there's nothing blue about his looks. Often I find it hard to resist running my hands on his ample chest, to feel his rippling muscles underneath that dress shirt. His broad, square shoulders make it difficult but I have been a good girl thus far.

When he's feeling a bit more frisky than usual he would stretch his arms, or linger over my shoulder for much longer than necessary. I remember the wretchedly delicious time I had eons ago when I had just started working for him. How I survived his seduction onslaught is still a mystery…but then again I had no chance.

I was so desperate to do things on my own…in my own way, I had no chance. It was swimming against the current, you can only resist for so long before you are swept under by the magnificent force. Today, I just have to wait for the close of day before I can have him all to myself.

"Nicole!?" his deep English voice calls me back to the land of now. "Did you hear me at all? I need something…we need something fast, before I lose more ground."

"I know. I am working on it, honey. I was thinking….I was thinking about charity…"

"…About how it starts at home?" he says sarcastically.

With what I was thinking…YES!

But back to work… "No." I say.

"Darling, I don't want to burst your creative bubble but that's been over done already. The Dimeras have given a considerable amount of money back into this community, buying those votes by being seen as caring."

"Exactly my point; people know you are loaded but they also don't trust the hand that feeds them so to speak, so we approach this differently. I was thinking a charitable Mayor's Ball, where invited guest brought their fat wallets along with their choice mistress for the night.

I want to bring glamour back into this town where good taste comes to die. I mean did you see what Jennifer Horton was wearing on your big day. I know the woman is way past her forties but seriously, the dead have a better sense of style than that woman.

All the funds raised will go to a worthy cause not a single cent will go into the mayor's coffers."

"Are you certain this is about all those poor souls in need of wealthy benefactors or is this about you and your need for a good dirty martini?" he says without an accusatory tone in his voice.

I look at him for a moment before admitting that maybe I had ulterior motives to this fund raising initiative. Salem is rather a bore of a town. I may not be as well travelled as I would like but seriously, it's like nothing ever happens in this town except people being kidnapped or faking their deaths. If being possessed has to be a highlight-worthy incident then there's something seriously wrong.

"Can you blame me for wanting things to lighten up around here? Abe was such a bore and a half over the last four and a half years. I think you, my beloved are the perfect person to take the stuffy out of these self-righteous people. We are sort of the first family of Salem; let's show them how it should be done. No offence to your sister.

I have already come up with a guest list to shock even the liberal. Plain Joe and Jane just won't do, and I do actually want to enjoy myself."

"Ahh, I guess that excludes three quarters of the town then?"

"No, I was thinking maybe all of them…. okay I am kidding. But on a serious note, for this night to be a success certain individuals may need to be excluded, for my constitution and yours."

As much as I agree with that, we may not have a choice…if we do the Ball. I had a run in with Salem PD's finest earlier today. The EX Commissioner, his wife and brother were none too happy with me after I was through with them. I put on my best performance today; I wish you were there to see me."

"EX Commissioner…? Oh, pray tell?" I say.

He pulls my chair to face his so we are a mere inches away from each other. He huddles towards me as if conspiring with a comrade in a coup d'ètat of the Salem department. I love it.

He pulls me even closer and his lips land sweetly over mine. EJ holds me just long enough to forget my train of thought.

"I've been dying to taste you all day long, they are so….delectable…" he says still kissing me.

Who cares that he just shared the most shocking news I have had all day but this is way more important. Let the Bradys take a back seat for a minute more.

He reluctantly pulls away and looks longingly into my eyes…fire and passion in his eyes.

"How delicate are you, my sweet thing if we I lock us in her for all eternity, will I offend your sense of propriety if I ravage you in a public office?"

"What exactly do you intend to do Mr Mayor?" I ask, a picture of all innocence, while my hands go exploring places I have become rather familiar. I understand why the blind often use their hands to see. I have seen all of EJ and I love every bit of him as much as he has seen and loves me.

"Go and lock that door!" I command him.

He flashes me the brightest, knowing smile I have ever seen on a man, or will ever see in another man.

His hand barely touches the handle before the door flies aggressively open, revealing a livid Bo Brady.

Ahh, the EX Commissioner is clearly not impressed by whatever it is EJ has done. I imagine the 'EX" has something to do with the murderous look on his face. I look behind him to see if he's brought his favourite skeletal cheerleader along…Nope, he's flying solo today.

"YOU DETESTABLE SON OF A BITCH!" the vile words fly out Bo's furious lips, which are usually seeped in false modesty, dripping with sweetened venom.

How I detest people who hid behind their white washed walls when they are as dark, dirty as the rest of us. The Bradys are the absolute worst, lauding over everybody how perfectly good they were when they weren't.

He walks in without an invitation. Where the hell is EJ's assistant, doesn't she know never to let any one just walk in here without first being announced.

"Excuse me MR Brady but we make appointment in a civilised world."

"You bastard, you won't get away with this. I will fight you until I have no breath left in my body. I will fight you Dimera even if it's the last thing I ever do."

"A bit dramatic don't you think? I am following procedure under the circumstances. Mr Carver is under investigation and so it seemed the appropriate thing for me to widen that investigation into the entire department. I do not like how it has been run."

"That's because we had honest people working their asses off making sure scum like you got what they deserved. You think being Mayor gives you the right to…"

"Correct me if I am wrong, isn't it your job to actually catch criminals and throw the book at them, is that how they say it? Then tell me MR Brady why has crime escalated over the last few years and please don't give me that speech about what you think of me or my family?

We are upstanding citizens of this fair city of Salem just like everybody else and have contributed far too much to continue being undermined by not just your department but a family run police force that has more to gain in obstructing justice than the Dimeras have done in the past several decades.

Don't come here and insult me to my face and think I am just going to take it, grin and walk away. You have not only harassed me you've come after all those closest to me because you have some vendetta or score to settle.

There are far too many irregularities to go on being ignored, I merely want to clean up the garbage our ex mayor left behind, starting with all the dead weight." He says without breaking a sweat.

Bo on the other hand is sweating bullets, with every vein in his neck about to burst from too much excitement. He's walking into EJ's favourite playpen.

"Oh this is so not over, do you hear me Junior?"

"I am your superior and you will address me accordingly unless you fancy unemployment a better option to your demotion. I am being very generous with you Bo, walk out that door, and stop embarrassing yourself in front of a lady. Go home to your wife, give your daughter a kiss and reassure her that daddy still has a job and she doesn't have to worry about whether or not she will get to go to collage."

"YOU LEAVE MY FAMILY OUT OF THIS!

"I'm only trying to make you see that you are on a sure path to destruction, I'm trying to save you…or rather what's left of you.

Go, while you still have legs to carry you, my patience with you has run it's course." He tells the man in front of him.

"You can posturise all you want Dimera, you know as well as I do who will be laughing in the end. The truth will come in the end and Salem will see you for the dog you are. I swear to you…." Bo fumes.

"Let me stop you there. GET OUT!" He shouts.

EJ makes for the phone.

"I already called security," I tell him, to which he gives me a wink before turning to Bo.

EJ just looks at Bo as if to say, "Your move…" and typically BO is the first to crack and back off.

"I'm leaving; but don't think this is last you've seen of me," says the man with his tail firmly stuck between his legs.

He turns on his heels and storms off somewhat similarly to how I have seen his bitch of a niece do on countless occasions.

EJ closes the door after Bo's refreshing departure; he turns the lock and then looks at me.

"Now where were we, before we were rudely interrupted?" he says with a sly smirk across his lips.

Oh...my...goodness; he's such a bad man, one seriously sexy bad, bad man who can switch me on like a light by the power he wields so expertly. Wherever that receptionist is, she better stay there.

I run the distance between us and jump into his open arms; showering him with hot kisses! A low sexy growl escapes his aroused body, splintering every fibre of my being!

I love this man!


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24:

In a matter of weeks EJ's reign had risen to infamy never seen before. EJ was delivering on all the promises he made during his campaigning, there was reform on every level of the public sector. He was making enemies at every turn. His aggressive approach to politics was upsetting too many people, the good and the bad.

It didn't take long before threatening mail made its way to his office. He told me not to worry about it. It was all taken care of by him…by his father…? He never said when I pushed him for more info. This was no place to make friends he said, he had vision and he was damn prepared to see it to the end, reminding me of a long forgotten conversation about making it all the way to the Oval Office.

In the same time that EJ paved his road to destiny, many tried to derail him. Having a Dimera run a whole city seemed to send out an open invitation to every kind undesirable but EJ remained unmoved. Any one who defied his authority found out the hard way, you never cross a Dimera. The more things spiralled out of control the more the more control he exerted, to everyone's chagrin.

In the beginning his council rebelled, most were Abe Carver's buddies and he fired them soon after being sworn in; a pre-emptive strike against his enemies, from prominent business execs to members of prominent Salem families….no one's job was safe. EJ had to show them he meant business.

It was something neither of us expected, that his new job would hijack every aspect of his life. He began spending less time at home, something he truly hated. I tried in my own way to make things as easy for him as I could at home as well as at work. Warring against the Bradys, Blacks and the criminal underground could not be easy for him as much as I knew he enjoyed every minute of it, it was the power of it all that fuelled him daily and his father couldn't be more proud.

So when days of quietness finally surfaced among the torrent of meetings, public appearances, we savoured them…spending those moments together as a family. As mayor EJ constantly had the spotlight shining over his life, it wasn't long before it became public knowledge that we had reignited our romance.

We never received the tickertape parade or anything remotely similar but by then I never truly expected one. We were at best an unconventional duo. The tabloids were brimming with every kind of gossip and none too kind but I had been through far worse than headlines reading "Lock up your babies Salemites," or "The Sopranos have nothing on Salem's new First Family…"

Every where we went, heads turned whispers were heard, I didn't care. As far as I was concerned my life was more than perfect. I am deeply in love with a man who adores me just as equally. With EJ by my side I can take on the world blindfolded, single-handedly, what can these cockroaches of Salem do to me…to us?

"I am thinking we need to tell father of our impending remarriage. Come to think of it, WE (jabbing the space above his heart and pointing to me) have hardly had time to talk about our wedding. I know I have been very busy with everything else, please don't think I have relegated you to being my mistress."

We are on our way to Chez Rouge to have dinner with his father and Kate. This night promises to have fireworks. I have never known four people related to one another yet desperate to NOT spend time together but that is what we are doing. When EJ moved away from his father Stefano was not pleased at all but it had to be done and now I have to live with formally making time with one of my least favourite couple…my in-laws. That's one thing that's not so different from everybody else, an ingrained dislike for your spouse's family.

We have not announced anything regarding our relationship but Stefano knows and by extension, so does Kate. I don't really see why we need to double date with his parents but I will humour EJ this once.

"…EJ when did you ever hear me complain about whether or not I have your ring on my finger? As long as I have your heart, I have all I need, so what is we have to push back the day we say I do. We can go to the justice of the peace and sign on the dotted line and be done with it as soon as tomorrow and I will still be happy.

Oh I have an even better idea. Let's fly to Las Vegas tonight and do the whole "Elvis" wedding, with everything…wigs, jumpsuit and the king playing as I walk down the aisle. I even know the perfect song…"

"Gahhh, stop it right now, where's my Nicole and what have you done to her!?" he vents.

I burst out laughing as my little joke puts him in a little bit of a huff. Elvis sure doesn't take too kindly being reminded of his namesake in any way. His face flushes into a deep shade that I rather enjoy perceiving a little too much.

"There is no way in hell I am getting into one of those ghastly outfits like you made me do (against my will) last year, once was already too many times for this ultra sophisticated man to debase himself in that manner. I would appreciate it if we never speak of this ever again, do I make myself clear?"

Oh my poor baby, he's about to pop a vein because he actually thinks I'm serious. I toy with the idea of letting him stew just a little longer but my heart won't let me do it. I put him out of his misery and take his free hand squeeze it gently.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean it. It was a joke, a really bad one. I can assure I never dream of getting married in some tacky get-up with a guy who got his licence off the internet, while Billy-Ray and Cindy-Anne from Colorado act as our witnesses in a two-bit Elvis' Graceland 24hr chapel."

I raise his hand and kiss it gently. "I'm sorry, can you forgive me?" I ask meekly.

"Forgiven, as long as you make up for your lapse in what I consider proper decorum in style and class, feigned or otherwise. I had nightmares about last Halloween and I do want to have wonderful memories of my wedding day, thank you very much!" he pouts…how typically English.

I fail miserably in hiding my smile seeing just how serious he is.

"Go ahead and laugh since I can see how desperately you're struggling to contain the joy you feel at my expense, just be warned Darling that I will have to exact my revenge on you some how." He says but even I can see the ends of his lips curling upwards.

My Elvis does know how to take a joke after all, no matter how much he may claim to be of civilised stock.

As the maitre d' leads us to our table, I catch Stefano's evil eye. They arrived before us even though we are ten minutes early.

"Just get through the next hour Nicole; you'll be home free before you know it," I say under my breath.

"Did you say something?" asks EJ turning to face me.

"It's nothing, I'm just starved and I didn't realise that's all. Let's take our seats…"

We eat in deafening silence, the atmosphere is obviously charged and it doesn't take a genius why.

"So tell me how you are handling the matter concerning those Bradys?" asks Stefano rolling his tongue in typical fashion.

I appreciate how he breaks the silence by not bringing up how unsuitable I am for his Elvis however Elvis is not interested.

"Actually father I wanted to take about something far more important," says EJ.

"Something else more important…what could be more important than crushing the mortal enemies of your family."

"That's enough, father. I didn't call you to dinner to talk shop."

"Then we have wasted our time, Katerina…" he says gesturing to Kate to rise from her seat to leave.

"Really father, there's absolutely no need for that. What I have to say is very important…to me and I would love for you both to sit and hear me out." EJ says as he passes a look in my direction.

"Oh mama mia, there's no need I already know, says Stefano impatiently.

"Be that as it may, I still want you to hear it from me…Nicole and I have managed to find our way back to one another. And accordingly, she has made me the happiest man on earth by agreeing to become my wife…"

"What a shocker!?" says Kate snidely from across the table just the right size for me to reach over and land a left hook across her heavily made up cheek if I so wished it.

"Kate…" warns EJ.

"Can you blame me? I mean seriously, how many times are going to go down this road? Your last two marriages should serve as a lesson to the both of you. I have seen nothing different to change my mind and neither has your father. And father knows best…" she continues.

"Really Kate if I want to have your point on whether or not to marry the love of my life you are the last person on whose door I would knock. I don't have to explain myself to you. despite what has been written about me and Nicole, we plan to marry and I am past the stage of asking his permission but it would certainly mean a lot to me if FATHER…"

"Elvis, Elvis calm down, if this is what you truly want, I cannot stop you. You never listened to me before so why should you start now. Nicole will never be the woman I want for my only son but how can I stand in your way?

Let's finish this dinner before things really get out of hand. You are a very public figure right now. I don't think it's wise to start throwing the crockery at each other in front of your constituents," Stefano intercedes.

On that note the rest of the dinner is uneventful. We are actually civilised even though it is for show. We discuss the Ball which is set for two months hence. Kate does her best to ingratiate herself into my plans citing more experience in the matters of social standing where I have had little to none.

Who does this whore think I am?

"Really Kate, I appreciate your offer to help me (more like take over) but I can handle this. I know what I am doing. All those years married to Victor didn't go to waste." I say cheeringly, you should know very well.

No one flinches except Kate. She bites her tongue; it must pain her to back off from the open challenge.

"…Darling please…we are having such a lovely dinner,' says EJ.

…Really? Sometimes EJ can be such buzz kill.

I flash him a toothless smile that disappears just as quickly. I can grin and bear but only for so long. None of us really wants to be there.

"Oh wonderful, I don't understand how Maggie Horton can allow drunkards in this establishment. It thought she had better sense than that, but she did marry Victor." Stefano spits out each syllable with contempt.

"Father what are you talking about?"

Suddenly there is a raucous a few tables away from ours. I can't see who it is but I can hear that someone is clearly unimpressed with the service. I ignore it but none of the three follow suit. EJ even turns to see who it could be.

"...I-WILL-DRINK-AS-MUCH-AS-I-WANT-WHERE-I-WANT-WHO-ARE-YOU-TO-STOP-ME?" The man tumbles over his own words, slurring and completely drunk.

My heart drops.

"…YOU- HAVE-NO-RIGHT-TO-KICK-ME-OUT-I-AM-AMONG-FRIENDS-AT-LEAST-ONE-FRIEND-BUT-SHE'S-NOT-BEEN-MYFRIEND-IN-A-LONG-TIME…LET-GO-OF-ME!" His voice gets even louder.

As the man speaks the clearer I can hear him. It's Brady. I can see EJ's body tense from the corner of my eye.

"…NICOLE-FANCY-MEETING-YOU-HERE-WITH-YOUR…" He pulls back my chair so I can face him.

He smells like a brewery.

Oh Brady what has happened to you?

"…I-MISS-YOU-WHY-COULDN'T-YOU-LOVE-ME-WHY-DID-YOU-HAVE-TO-GO-BACK-TO-HIM-HHIIIMMMM?" He slurs.

Brady lifts me to my feet and before I can react, EJ literally spring from where he sits and my mind goes to overdrive. I take EJ's right hand before he can even think about doing something stupid…publicly.

"We are so sorry for the interruption Mr Mayor, Mr Black has been asked repeatedly to leave but he keeps coming back Mrs Kiriakis promised to sort this out but to no avail and she is currently out of the country.

"I don't want excuses; Mr Black has ruined my evening with my family. IT'S UNACEPTABLE!" EJ shouts back at the maitre d'.

I turn to EJ and whisper softly, "Please…Let me take care of this…let me help him."

EJ gives me a defiant look that says over my dead body!

"No" he says with quiet hatred.

"Please…?" I plead with him but silently.

I start to walk away from him but EJ holds me back.

"I SAID NO!" H finally raises his voice; it's not like we didn't need any more to cause a scene, Brady did most of the work and now EJ was happily jumping in a PR nightmare!

When is he going to trust me?


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25:

"…WHAT'S-UP-JUNIOR-AFRAID-I'M-GONNA-STEAL-YOUR-GIRL-EVEN-THOUGH-SHE-WAS-MINE-LONG-BEFORE-YOU-EVER-SHOWED-YOUR-UGLY-MUG-IN-THESE-PARTS?"

"Shut up Brady or else…" I turn back to the drunk in front of me.

"…NIKKI-Nikki-please-don't-be-mad-at-me-Mad-is-already-mad-at-me-get-it-Mad-is-mad." He bellows in putrid laughter drawing more attention to use.

I can barely hear Stefano's Italian expletives rolling off his tongue with obvious fury. He wants EJ to sort this out the only way they know how and I can't allow that to happen. All the while EJ, his cold murderous brown eyes are fixed hungrily on the one person I know he hates the most in the world, his own flesh and blood, Brady.

"…I'm-sorry-I-didn't-mean-to-ruin-your-date-with-the-family-from-hell-oops-I-didn't-say-that-loudly enough-I AM SORRY I RUINED YOUR DATE WITH THE FAMILY FROM HELL-yes-that's-much-better-do-you-agree-or-not-I-guess-I'll-just-go-home-all-alone!" He moans.

Damn them both. I hated being stuck between these two and for a while I had a moment's reprieve but with Brady like this and EJ displaying his ugly but sexy side I can't believe they are going to make me choose sides.

I pull EJ aside. He is not happy…far from it and I can tell he's exercising an incredible amount of restraint and unfortunately I am not about to make things easier for him.

"Honey I know exactly how you're feeling but I need you to understand I can't just leave him like this…"

"…UNDERSTAND…?" He says incredulously.

I am so torn; I don't want to hurt EJ but… "Just give me five minutes, I will call him a cab and we can go back to our dinner."

"I am sorry Nicole but didn't you hear the man, dinner is ruined, there's nothing to return to if you must help him then do it but don't look to me for approval or any such thing. I'd rather he be at the bottom of the cold dark ocean somewhere.

If you want to go, go!

It's getting late; I need to see the kids tuck the children in. I have a conference call early in the morning I don't have the time or patience for this…whatever the hell it is!"

He storms off without so much as a goodbye; he didn't even look at me.

Damn it!

I try going after him but Brady nearly topples me by blocking my pass. This night has truly gone from bad to a full blown disaster. Nothing I do is right and whatever I do will ultimately hurt someone and EJ pulled the short stick and I didn't even plan for any of this.

But I will deal the hand I have been deal and later try to make it up to EJ…somehow.

"Hey Nikki, it's just you and me now; the real party can start!" he says less slurred than five minutes ago.

"Urgh Brady, just…just get your things and I will take you home!" I call out to him as I gather my own belongings.

They send out a one of the waiters to help me get him into the cab.

I can't help but picture the look on EJ's face every time my eyes rest on Brady. I tell the drive where to go and hope we can get there at the speed of light. I don't know how much of this night Brady will actually remember.

I haven't seen Brady like this; at least not for a very long time. I don't understand why he would say all those things in front of EJ. I wanted to crawl and die. I know we were past this, perhaps there's something to all his gibberish, and he had said something about Madison being mad at him for something.

The Brady sitting next to me is nothing like the Brady that was in love the last time I saw him. But when was the last time I saw him? He should be passed out by now but I can hear him murmuring.

"Nicole…I love…Mad is mad…Nikki…"

On and on he goes, no coherency, the silence is a luxury I am denied.

I take out my cell phone and dial EJ's number…there's no reply. I try again and again and still no change.

"EJ, pick up the phone!" I breathe out in exasperation.

I get through to his voicemail and decide to leave him one.

EJ, Honey I need to talk to you, I don't like how we left things at the restaurant earlier. I need to make sure Brady is okay first; please…call me when you get this message?

I love you!"

"Mmm… oh Nic…" says the man next to me before plonking his head on my shoulder, giving me a fright so I drop my phone before I can end the call.

"OH, COME ON…!" I yell at my oblivious companion as I lean forward in the cramped back seat courtesy of Brady Black.

When I finally retrieve the device from the crowded and rather disgusting floor, I find I have been cut off. This night just can't possibly get any worse than this. I shudder at the thought of what EJ is going to think of that little message. It's highly improbable that he will ignore it as he has ignored all my other calls. I dare not hope.

As if on cue, he rests his head once again on my right shoulder, wrapping one arm around my torso, snuggling even closer than I am willing to entertain at the moment. I jerk my head a little more aggressively than I intended but fail in extricating myself from his unwelcome embrace.

We may be friends but I don't have to like the situation he has put me in tonight.

"We're hear Miss…" the driver calls out from the front.

"…FINALLY!

Can you please drive through the gates?"

"Whatever you say, it's your money!"

We snake up the avenue towards Victor's not so humble abode. I can already hear his disdain and hateful bile, something only reserved for special people like myself and perhaps Chloe. On any other day I would look forward to pushing his ancient buttons but not tonight, not with EJ upset. My mind is too much preoccupied.

The driver yells out the fare I need to pay him upon reaching the front door.

I fish through Brady's pockets for his house keys, which I find in his coat.

"Don't leave…" he calls out to me as I step out of the car.

"Just sit tight, I'll get Henderson …or someone to come and help me."

I open the front door and call out to one of the servants.

"HELLO…anybody here?

HELLO…VICTOR, it's me, Nicole…?

HELLO…?"

Silence!

Great! Now I have to drag him in her and I remember the driver.

I return back to the cab and open the back seat door to find Brady sprawled carelessly across the entire seat, snoring,…just perfect.

'"Hey mister, can you help me get him inside?"

"That will be extra! He exclaims.

"Fine, as long as I think it's reasonable…come give me a hand!" I say impatiently.

He's a short stocky man with a slightly protruding beer gut. He's wearing a hat all the way down to his eyes, like he's hiding something.

"Let me wake him first, it'll be easier that way," I say.

"Brady…Brady!" I slap him a couple of times for more effect.

It takes a few more moments before he snaps out of his slumber only to doze of again.

"…BRADY!" I yell at him.

I tell him we're home and he can get out of the cab. I refuse to drag him out and this little man looks like he'll pull his back out of joint by just looking at Brady. He opens his eyes and raises a little and sets both feet outside allowing us to lift him to his feet and pitifully drag him into the house, though the foyer then into the lounge.

All three of us drop embarrassingly onto the sofa under Brady's weight. I take out my purse and throw two one hundred bills and my greedy helper; that should be enough for all the trouble and more. He looks at me like a bird just took a shit on his newly washed Thunderbird or something.

"You still need to take me home; it will more than cover the trip. Take it or leave because you won't get another single red cent from me!

Wait for me outside." I warn him, to which he huffs and walks out indignantly.

He says something under his breath but I'm too tired to listen or care. He walks out slams the door behind him. I turn to Brady; he looks so peaceful, like he didn't just ruin my night in the worst way. I toy with the idea of slapping him real well, since he won't feel it let alone remember in the morning. But I stop myself, Madison must have broken up with him…no that couldn't be it, as far as I knew they loved one another.

He did say she was mad but mad about what?

"This is no time to play investigator Nicole, you need to get home soon!" I think out loud.

The sound of a roaring engine jolts me back and fast…OH NO, the ass is driving away! I fly towards the door and as suspected, I see one of the tail lights flickering back at me at a distance.

"…URGH…YOU ASSHOLE!" I yell into the consuming darkness ahead of me.

Now it's going to take even longer to get back home and I can't spend another minute here, in this house…with Brady; regardless of the fact that he is incapacitated right now. I need to call for another cab.

I return to where I left my handbag…and Brady only to find my bag exactly where I left it but no Brady!

"Oh what now…?" I say and suddenly my arms are held tight against my body as if in a steel trap.

A strong arm has entrapped me and another moves quickly over my mouth to silence my glass splintering scream. I struggle as though my life depends on it and it does. I can't se my assailant and despite all my efforts the more I struggle the tighter I am held.

"…Shhh!"

Whoever it is coaxes me to be quiet but I won't. I gather what ever remains of my strength to break free and act. I bite hard the hand covering my mouth and push back as hard as I can so my attacker slams his back against the wall temporarily loosening his deathly gip on me. I feel his lungs expel heavy breath, alcohol infused. I seize my chance and head for the exit but manage to grab my bag before hand.

All thoughts of Brady…fly out the window. My only thought is to get out! After taking several paces out the door, my adrenalin rush begins to wane like the crescent moon above me. I dial speed dial EJ's phone and pray he will answer this time but I am still out of luck.

Instead it's his voicemail yet again.

"BABY PICK UP, I NEED YOU TO ANSWER YOUR PHONE…SOME…SOMEONE'S AFTER ME BUT I MANAGED TO GET_" the line goes dead before I can say anymore.

It can't be the battery, I know because I charged the phone before going out to meet with Stefano and Kate. I try looking down at the screen but it's impossible in the dark, while running from goodness knows who and I must keep running I hear a voice calling out my name, but it's from a distance. I am being chased and despite the garden lights there are just too many pitch black shadows for me to turn.

The chasing footsteps get louder and nearer. I decide to head for the grove to my right, it's even darker but it will shield me at the least. My chest is filling with piercing air every breath I take tears at my lungs and body as a whole, but I cannot stop. The needles on my side feel more like daggers stabbing me in every which way but I must not stop.

With each step I take I fell as though I walking into a cold damp tomb. The night air is riffled with sounds creeping things that I begin to imagine things….Like it is Brady's face I see in the dark…it's his voice I hear calling my name but I know that can't be. Brady's drunk out of his mind some where in that house.

It is someone else that's chasing me, someone who was already in the house when we got there, they were trying to rob the place and we surprised him…Oh my…Brady…what if something's happened to him. These thoughts send me on a wild frenzy as I plunge deeper into the woods of Victor's property with every branch of trees thrashing against my face and body!

"Nic…Nicole…I know…you're in here, come…come out!" I hear the voice in the darkened thicket.

I try my cell phone yet again…no reception, not in this wilderness. I am past the point of rational thinking and yet that is the very thing I need.

"Come out here." The voice echoes in my ears. I will do no such thing. I rebuke myself for running wild out of the house without so much as a glance towards the only means I have to being safe…my cell phone! I need to find a place where I can hide but there's nothing resembling a hiding place. The loud beating of my heart assaults my ears tuning every other sound out!

"Come on Nicole, think…you can't circle Victor's garden forever…go back…GO BACK!" The thought bounces inside my head. It seems a great idea if I knew how to find my way out of this bush without bumping into the man just as determined to keep me from getting help.

"...GOTCHA!" the same hands snap shut around me from behind.

OH NO!

"Let go or else I will scream!" I threaten but, it's futile.

Who would hear me all the way in here?

I can't let it end like this; I will fight to my last breath. I try the same manoeuvre from earlier inside the house but he is ready for it this time. My attacker forces me up against on of the tall trees. Thoughts of EJ and the children flood my mind; giving me that extra push…it's now or never.

I spread my arms wide with every fibre of my being breaking free from the steel grip. Unfortunately, I trip and fall as I try to make a run for it. He grabs my legs and begins to pull…as I am fighting back the tears on the verge of flooding.

Crying is a sign of weakness and will give him more power I can't afford to lose. You have to fight, Nicole. FIGHT HIM DAMNIT, but they come anyway!

He drags me against the rough friendless ground. I kick back and strike hard and true. The man moans. I struggle once more to break free, but no success.

"STOP IT!" He growls.

"Stop it!

Nikki, for crying out loud stop fighting…it's me…BRADY!" the man says.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26:

I grab a piece of dried wood and swing as hard as I can but he is too quick "LET GO OF ME YOU CREEP!" I scream as the tip of my choice weapon makes contact with his face.

"Nicole, calm the hell down! I said it's me, Brady!" he repeats more clearly.

I stop struggling but my heart is racing at a million miles per hour. What is happening? I can't believe it is Brady even though I see it's him as I turn and face my assailant.

"It's me, really. There's no need to be scared…" he says in a strange voice.

"I…I d-don't understand…some…someone was cha-chasing me; and I ran in here…" I say in confusion.

"I know…it was me. I didn't think…" he says quietly.

I see a trickle of dried blood on his brow.

"What do you mean it was you? You were the one…chasing me?" I ask still out of breath and very much still shaken.

"Come on we need to get out of this wood. The house is quite a distance and you don't want to be caught out here in the dead of night. My grandfather's woods are crawling with all kinds of animals and being out here at night may frighten them into doing something stupid…like attack us."

He takes my hand, in an attempt to lift me to my feet. I jerk free.

"You didn't answer my question…Brady, was it you chasing me all along?" I ask more sternly.

The starlit night sky filters through slivers of dark leaves and for the first time I see something I have never seen on Brady, exhaustion and guilt.

"Tell me!" I demand of him.

He turns his face away from me but I grab his chin and force him to look me in the eye. His silence speaks volumes.

SMACK!

The palm of my hand strikes firmly across his left cheek, causing a stinging and burning sensation to travel right up my arm. I slapped him so hard; I swear my arm almost pops out of socket.

"What the hell…you scared me half to death; do you know that? I thought someone had cut up your body into a million pieces and left for carrions to feast on you or worse."

"I'm so…"

SMACK!

I slap him for a second time.

"And that's for making me think I was never going to see my family again!"

He tries to lift me but I push his hand away.

"Let me help you, we really need to get out of here Nikki!" he says with a tone resembling impatience.

"I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP! You've certainly done enough tonight Brady.

I can't believe you…"

I push myself off the ground only to collapse back down again when my left leg buckles from pain now heightened by the weight of my body.

"…OWW!" I yelp in anguish.

"Nikki…Nic are you alright?" his voice rises in certain fear.

"I'm fine…no thanks to you! But my leg…I think I my have broke maybe sprained my ankle or something." I say as I softly feel round the said limb.

"Let me see…" he kneels before me, moves my hand away and ministers gentle pressure while asking me…

"Do you feel that? How about this? Does this hur…"

"YES, YES IT HURTS. Argh, ow… You did this Brady Black, YOU! I hope you're happy!"

"Come on Nicole, here take my hand…"

"Oh No I won't" I object to his assistance but I know soon enough I can't resist him much longer.

The cold damp ground is quickly wearing off the last shred of self-reliance in me. My latest attempt to rise again on my own yields the exact result as before.

"You can either take my hand, let me help you or sit here and refuse me but know one thing I am not leaving you here, all alone, in this place. So what's it going to be?"

"Fine, just get me the hell out of here!" I spit out the words

I can see his pearly whites reflected in the moonlight…bastard!

"Don't get ahead of yourself there, I haven't forgiven you yet!"

"Oh, I'm a patient man." He says then scoops me off the ground.

The journey back feels like forever. We trudge through thickets and clearings, the ground gives way and suddenly we are hiking again, it's a trail and a half and somehow Brady knows his way around it. And all the while not a word is spoken between us. My emotions are swinging freely between fear and anger.

Finally we make it out and I couldn't be more relieved to see the mansion at a distance.

"You can put me down now." I say as I am trying to free myself from him.

"No I can't do that, I need to keep you off that leg of yours and apply some ice to bring down the swelling before it gets any worse. So make yourself comfortable." He says triumphantly.

He takes each step carefully and firmly, he doesn't seem at all tired, or maybe he is but doesn't want to show or maybe…

"Oh you've got to be kidding me?" I lean back in disgust.

"What is it?"

"You…you're not drunk. You're as sober as a judge aren't you? At Chez rouge tonight, you reeked of liquor, I could smell you from across the room; you were tripping over your own shadow, YOU PASSED OUT!"

"Yeah…about that…" he flounders.

"Save it, I don't want to here it!

Let me down, LET ME DOWN THIS INSTANT!"

No.

He continues setting one foot after another, ignoring me. We make it into the house. What once seemed like refuge is slowly turning into a recurring nightmare. I keep remembering EJ when I begged him to let me tend to a drunken Brady. And now to find that he not only didn't need my help but manipulated me as well; I feel such a fool.

He sets me down on the sofa as gingerly as I allow him. My hand flies at his twice beaten face but he stops me this time round.

"No Nikki…" he rebukes me, holding both my hands, forcing them down.

"I can't believe you…how could you do this to me?

I thought we were friends!" I scream at him.

"We ARE friends! That's why I did this…"

"Don't, you don't get to say that to me after the stunt you pulled tonight."

Looking down, I get yet another surprise…I have scratches all over my arms…paper thin scratches. My skin is covered in blotches of red tell tale lines of what Brady put me through. Running through those woods sure left a mark. If my arms look like this, I can imagine my face…

"I LOOK LIKE SHIT and feel like it too!

A friend would never do THIS (lifting my arms and turn my face towards the light); he would never lie to me, manipulate me and hurt me like you did, Brady…YOU! You had no right to do what you did. And because of you EJ may not forgive the fact that I chose you over him!"

"Good!" he says proudly.

That one word is like a kick in the stomach, he honestly doesn't care one bit that he has messed things up for me. I don't know how mad EJ is with me but the fact that he's been ignoring me tells me he's mad enough and it's all because I was stupid enough to help someone I thought was a friend.

I try slapping him again but he averts me.

"I couldn't sit back like last time and watch you make the same mistake thrice over!" he continues carelessly.

ARGH!

"…IMBECILEL!" I yell at him.

"I am serious Nicole. I know what is going on and as YOUR friend I had to do something to get you away from that ASSHOLE!"

"No, I am not going through this with you…AGAIN. I have told you a million times I don't need saving, I never have!

Why do I even bother, since you're too thick headed to listen to me?"

I look around me and try doing the same to Brady; who looks on with a puzzled expression.

"What are you doing?" he finally asks.

"I'm looking for my phone, you idiot!" I retort.

"Well it's not here…you left it behind…in the woods. You are not going any where any time soon (pointing to my leg)." I detect a little smugness in his tone.

Brady; damn you!

I look around for the house phone; it's across the room on table by the fireplace. It's too far considering my state but I need to call EJ at the very least another cab to get me home.

"You can get me that ice now!" I turn sharply to him.

"I knew you'd come around…albeit a little too quick. I thought you'd put up more of a fight."

"Just get me the ice, before I change my mind! You're lucky I can't get up and kick your ass from her till next week."

"It's never stopped you before…okay one ice pack coming right up." he gleefully complies.

I sit staring at my lifted leg waiting for him to leave me alone.

…Finally he disappears behind the door leading to the kitchen.

I drag myself across the sofa; to the furthest end…a beached whale can move fast than me. My leg is beginning to throb rather badly. I need to get home, the thought keeps running through my mind. Bite the pain Nicole and get to that phone…

The end of the sofa is reached and now for the hard part, taking two maybe three small steps and I will be home free…literally. I take one deep breath and slowly drop my injured foot on the cold floor and a cruel pain shoots up my leg, almost knocking me back.

Come on, I can do this!

I push myself off this wretched sanctuary and begin the longest walk of my life. I use the sofa as a crutch but there is a daunting gap between where I am and the damned telephone.

One step…another shot of pain, bringing tears to my eyes. I am only halfway there.

I have forgotten everything except reaching that table. I take another step.

"Argh…" my pain speaks.

I turn back to see if Brady's returned…he hasn't.

I am almost there, I lean forward and hit the table with my midriff, holding on for dear life and determined not to cry out in pain as my body threatens to do so against my will.

I stretch out my hand towards my salvation…

"Oh no you don't!" a voice behind says.

I hear the ice pack drop thoughtlessly onto the table and Brady quickly leaps to extricate the telephone headset from my bruised hand. He holds me and the phone miles apart. Because of my leg I have no choice but to let him hold me lest I fall but I try my absolute to get hold of the phone.

"Brady NO…I need…I need EJ, I need to call him…" I cry out in anguish.

"No you don't!" he says forcefully.

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF HER RIGHT NOW!" A familiar voice intones behind us.

It's EJ…


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27:

"Get your hands of her!" he says more quietly, but I can't mistake a furious undertone.

"…Oh great, Elvis is in the building!" mocks Brady.

I softly plead with Brady to let me go before things get out of hand. The dolt ignores me. He tightens his hold on me and swivels to face EJ who stands ominously at the door; his eyes are burning a cold unnatural fire.

He looks down on me and for a moment I can't tell if his anger is directed towards me or Brady. His face is devoid of emotion…only his eyes are raw from too much emotion. It's a long drawn minute before he addresses me.

"Are you alright?" he asks, softening his glare.

In the midst of chaos my heart smiles (if that is at all possible) EJ's love for me warms me down to my soul.

"Are you alright?" he asks again, even more softly.

My answer comes out more as a whimper than what I intend and EJ hasn't missed a thing. The pain down my leg continues its sharp incapacitating melody. Brady is not helping me at all here. He's more focused on keeping me from EJ, he doesn't realise he is hurting me.

"I said let her go…NOW!" He bellows.

"Last I checked Dimera, Nic was a free woman. She is NOT your wife and never will be if I have anything to do with it," he says assured of himself.

"…LET GO!" I scream while trying to break free.

Something must have broken EJ from his cage because a second after I crash to the floor, he is on top of Brady, pummelling him for all he is worth. But Brady is no slouch, it takes him a just few blows before he returns just as good.

The ensuing montage of crashing furniture and tumbling bodies would be so surreal if I wasn't dead smack in the middle of the war zone. The excruciating pain in my leg is not abating.

"Hey guys…" I try to speak but my voice is drowned out. They are can't hear me…or they choose not to listen.

The atmosphere is drenched in testosterone; both men are ignoring my plea for them to stop. My snail pace isn't helping, the more I try to avoid getting caught up in their brutal dance the more I am dragged back. Brady has EJ pinned just a hair's breath away from me, he has his hands in a death grip around EJ.

"Stop it!" I scream but he pays me no heed.

"STOP IT, STOP IT!

STOP IT!" I scream at the top of my lungs.

How ever my cries remain unanswered. I search about me for something I can use…I see it; a statuette toppled by the brawl. It's hanging tentatively over the edge but it's out of reach and there is a sea of broken glass between me and the table on which it rests.

"STAY OUT OF THIS Nicole, I will end this!" a crazed Brady turns back to me.

I slip.

"…ARGH!" I cry out in searing pain.

There is a large gash running from the side of my palm down to the inside of my wrist. A gush of dark red liquid begins to run down my arm, and spills on to the floor. Both men turn their strangely similarly expressional faces in my direction. This buys EJ the precious seconds he needs to connect his right fist to Brady's left side of the face. Suddenly the roles are reversed, Brady's flat on his back and as EJ ministers one blow…then another…

"STAY DOWN YOU SACK OF SHIT!" grunts EJ as he lands a decisive blow to Brady's now unconscious body.

"…Damn it!" EJ swears.

I see his right hand is lagging somewhat. Brady's finally out for the count and it only took the complete destruction of his living room, and a possible broken wrist to do it. EJ looks terrible…exhausted.

"Nikki…" he looks in my direction.

"Oh Nikki, are you alright?" he asks, rushing to my side.

He stops aghast, EJ looks at me but it's as if he's looking past me. I am now drenched in my own blood despite my attempts to stop the blood. There is a sickening trail of blood leading from his feet to where I sit, looking worse for wear and I can see on his face how I must look. I turn away from his eyes. His anger, his pain fills me with shame.

"Damn him…I swear I am going to kill him!

…Damn him; damn him!" He says as he kneels in the pool of blood.

I am ashamed of everything that went down tonight. What a time to be embarrassed but I am none the less.

"Nikki…" he calls me name gently, sensing the change in my demeanour.

"I don't want you to look at me." I say covering my face.

"Nikki…did he do this to you…your arms…your face?" he says, removing my cover and lifting my face to his.

I shake my head, fighting back my tears.

EJ is so transparent when he lets his guard down. I can see on his face what he sees in mine. I can see this tough Englishman fight back his own tears. He rips off a sizeable portion of the bottom of his shirt and wraps it tightly around my bleeding hand wound, constricting the blood flow. How much have I lost I don't know.

"I am going to kill him anyway but first things first…" he says.

He takes me in his arms as gently as he can. My body begins to shake as the adrenalin drains from me in bucket loads.

EJ rises from the floor and tries to lift me to my feet amidst emphatic protestations

"OWW…wait…I think I sprained my ankle or something. I was supposed to put ice on it but I had to call you first while Brady was out of the room. Thinking back on how Brady did in the name of protecting me only aggravates the floodgates of tears to burst open and I finally collapse into a heap of a mess. EJ quickly slumps down next to me and holds me tightly.

"I…was…so….sc-scared running…through t-those woods and he was just chasing me and chasing me. I thought it was a robber or som-someone…wo-worse!" I cry over his ripped shirt.

"Shh…it's alright Sweetheart. I am here now!"

We stay like this for what seems a very long time…with me crying and EJ just holding me. The closeness of EJ lulls me to sleep and considering the night I just had, sleep is a welcome respite.

"Nicole Darling…Nicole, I think it's time we get out of here and get you to the emergency room and have Lexi look after you! Your hand is soaking up my shirt; you have been losing blood non stop…come on?

Nicole?

NICOLE?"


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28:

Apart from the scratches, a shot of Voltaire to my ankle plus a brace and several stitches to my hand, Lexi gives me a clean bill of health. She prescribes some antibiotics for the cuts I to my arms and face and orders me to stay of my feet for a few days at the most.

EJ has barely let my hand go since bringing me to the hospital. He gave Lexi a stern negative when she asked to see to my wounds as he waited in the appropriate area. He didn't make it easy for anyone. He is being irrational and he knows this but he won't listen to reason.

And now she's given him more leeway to continue in this way, it's the doctor's stamp of approval for EJ to hover over me like I am some child he's afraid to let out of sight I am a grown woman damn it!

I want to protest the enforced bed rest citing the work I still need to do for the fundraiser but EJ cuts me off.

"Don't worry I WILL make sure she gets as much rest as she needs.

You work too hard anyway; it's time you take a breather. It will do you a world of good especially after tonight," he says.

"Oh no there really no need, EJ you can't afford to take even one day off anyway and I already told you I'm fine, it's not necessary…"

"You are not fine! You had a harrowing experience tonight thanks to that Neanderthal, Black. You could have been seriously hurt running in that wood in pitch darkness. What the hell was he thinking? Forget I asked a two year old has more brain capacity than that idiot!" he says with emphasis.

"But I have an important meeting with the caterers tomorrow; I'm trying to secure the services of…"

"…Enough Nikki! I almost lost you tonight and all you can think of is that stupid dance!" he vents.

"Nicole I am sure you don't need me or EJ to tell you that you lost quite a bit of blood tonight. That cut was deeper than we expected and from what EJ has told me tonight has to have affected you not just physically but psychologically as well.

If you aggravate that leg of yours any more that it is. You may end up doing more damage that originally incurred. Take a few days off; let my brother take care of you for a change after everything he tells me you have done for him.

Let him do this, he wants to…look at him; he needs to. What harm can a few days do?" says Lexi.

"Look, there's nothing more for me to do here. You two…go home…Doctor's orders. I need to go make my rounds." She says then heads for the door.

"Lexi, can I talk to you for a second?' asks EJ before he follows her out the door.

I'm left alone in the cold sterile room with a pungent smell of sickness permeating through the thin walls. The private dialogue taking place just outside my door stings me a little. I lean as far towards the door as my body can handle without tipping over the bed and garnering more humiliation than even I can handle for one day.

What could EJ be saying about me (what else is there to talk about)? The most I get is "Father" and "Abraham" and something that sounded like "Dream for the children" or is it "Cream"?

Instead of worrying about incoherent and nonsensical words, how about the words I did hear….like Lexi suddenly being my number one cheerleader with EJ, after I had run such a nasty campaign to oust her husband from office so EJ can have his job.

She's being uncharacteristically nice to me, what's up with that?

"Just give it up Nicole. Just sit back and relax." I say out loud.

"Did you say something Darling?" asks EJ from the doorway.

The brash light from behind him shines a strange halo over his chestnut hair, accentuating his rather other worldly looks. He is a truly beautiful man; not even the bruising from his scuffle with Brady can change that.

"Nicole…?"

"Oh it's nothing I was just being a little silly, talking to myself." I say sheepishly.

It's the once character flaw I have yet to shed. I don't know how many times I have placed myself in compromised situation because of my lack of self control.

"I don't know what got into me; I thought I had stopped doing that…" I say more to myself than to him.

He walks up to the side of my bed and takes my hand.

"Are you kidding me, it's one of the reasons I fell in love with you. You are a mixed bag of goodies and I love discovering every little bit of you…your quirks and mannerisms. They add the much needed colour to my prim proper and pompous boring self. Never change!" he says and then kisses my forehead.

"Ouch!" I cry out.

"What is it, where does it hurt!?" He panics.

EJ…

It warms my heart to see in his eyes just how much he loves me…ME; Nicole Walker, born on the wrong side of the tracks, a digger of all things bright and shiny. …But somehow not with EJ, not with the man standing in front of me. When he came into my life I only cared about one thing, giving him my whole heart instead of expecting something in return.

And he gave me so much more than even I expected…something truly more precious than silver or gold; his heart in exchange for mine. For someone like Elvis Dimera it's just not done. There a code that men like him, like his father, live by and he forsook all of it (okay not all) for me and how can I not be in awe of him, his strength, his surety…his love.

He turns to make for the door…

"I should call Lexi again…" he says but I stop him.

"NO…no, I am fine. It's just me being silly…again. I am sorry."

"Sweetheart you're in a hospital with cuts and bruises, why are you apologising?

"I know…"

"Sometimes I do wonder if you really do know…that you can't just rush into everything as if you're wonder woman."

"Is this about Brady…we never talked about that. I wanted to explain earlier…"

"Nikki, let's not talk about that boy! What I am talking about is everything else. And it is my fault I have been running you into the ground with being my PR guru. You've not rested not once since I ran for mayor and you are still pushing 110% EVERYDAY.

It's time to rest Baby and I mean it. You are going to be my wife soon and I'd rather have that woman than this Jane of all trades putting out my fires and Brady's. He's a screw up, a drunk…an ADDICT and I don't like nor appreciate him putting you in tough situations.

Tonight, it was the Chez Rouge. Tomorrow, it could be in some dark alley somewhere in a dodgy neighbourhood…do you see my point?"

"I thought we weren't going to talk about him tonight."

"We aren't but I had to put this out there. He's not your friend and tonight proved it. I know you have a very kind heart and you share this wonderful woman I see before me with just a handful of individuals who love and appreciate you for it…Brady isn't one of these people Nicole.

Walk away from him before something more than cuts and bruises lands you in the morgue." He says with finality.

"EJ…"

"Don't say it, I can see in your eyes you haven't heard a single word I said but it is okay. It's like I said, this is one of those quirks I happen to love you so much for. I was the biggest prick in the world to you once upon a time and you forgave me and withheld not your love from me. I understand.

But Brady is NOT my friend (he conveniently forgets they are family). I owe him no allegiance. If he so much as coughs in the wrong direction, I WILL put him in the ground and I won't even blink!" he says.

I believe him.

I run my hand down the side of his face. It is strange how I am not put off by those words. Any other woman would have shrieked but not me. I guess it's because I, myself have at some point or another in my life brewed ill thoughts of causing (fatal) bodily harm to any one and all who threatened me.

It is what drew me to EJ in the first place. I saw a darkness in him that somewhat matched my own in that other people could never accept us…all of us, for the good (a little of it) and the bad (quite a lot of it). It is always a pungent smell to the good citizens of Salem.

"I love you… (Hmm)" I kiss him softly on the lips even though I feel a sting of pain from just that little act.

'I LOVE YOU!" He says back.

"What do you say we get out of here?" he says.

"Well Mr Dimera, I thought you'd never ask!"


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29:

It is past three o'clock in the morning by the time EJ carries me to bed. He is treating me like a baby and I tell him so.

"I can walk on my own two legs you know, I'm not going to break." I say.

He kisses me and says, "I know how strong you are…and can be, I don't doubt but you're my Honey and I want to take care of you. If it means carrying you all the way to our bedroom or to the moon for that matter, I don't care; I will do it.

Put your affinity for self-dependency aside and let this man do what he desires to do."

"And what is that?" I ask with a little mischief.

"I want to show you how much I love you…adore you…worship you! I feel such a cad for what I did earlier tonight. I let my pride get the best of me and I see now the price I had to pay for even daring to…to…no, it doesn't matter.

You're home safe, that is all that should matter, and not the imaginings of a half crazed man."

"Were you…half crazed I mean?"

"You have no idea. Let's not talk about this any more."

This is the last time we talk about tonight.

I barely sleep a wink because of the cocktail of pills I had to force down. EJ is cuddling me, one of his hands is draped protectively over me; his weight bearing down on me but I welcome it. His slow breathing is comforting and I listen to its symphony matched by the slowed rhythm of his heart.

He is so calm.

…Half crazed…

Something tells me that is only half the story. I couldn't help notice some broken shards of a priceless vase swept carelessly to the side. The nick in the edge of the door frame was hard to miss when EJ closed the door behind him when we finally made it to our room. I know it wasn't there when we left for our dinner date with his father.

Knowing his history with Brady, it is not difficult to surmise what went down in our bedroom. Upon closer inspection in the stark yet pale moon light, pieces of furniture from the smallest of size have been re arranged; surreptitiously moved. Our picture frames are conspicuously missing. EJ must have drained out most of his rage in this very room.

The moment I saw him standing in the Kiriakis doorway, his cold and deadly expression is enough to confirm my suspicions. What amazes me though, is the amount of restraint he exercised, EJ held back the violence he visited on Brady (but only just). What ever happened between returning from Chez Rouge and Victor's mansion?

It must be the frantic call I made before being cut off. He must have listened to my message. If he heard that one, he must have heard them all but clearly it wasn't enough that I reassured him in the other voice mails. He still raged like a wild animal for the act of betrayal (as he no doubt saw it) on my part.

I relive every moment of this night against better judgement but I can't help myself, with sleep evading me at every turn.

I went from anxious, to absolute terror, to anger and then to desperation. I have not experience this so hectic a night in a very long time, not since I was a little girl, even Trent at his worst couldn't arouse the amount of fear I felt tonight; where I was at the mercy of other people and my emotions were tossed in every which way. But the feeling I remember the most was the relief that flooded over me at the sight of EJ, looking very much haggard (but handsome) and quite murderous.

I was overcome with a peculiar sense of peace as if to say ALL will be well. Brady had abused me in the worst way tonight but EJ calmed the treacherous storm inside, raging and ready to devour me. I wanted to leap into his arms but alas the injured foot and Brady bloody arms held me down.

And for a split second EJ allowed me to see inside of him, to see his hurt at a situation that was not of our making, but something that I have none the less nurtured albeit in ignorance. I was perhaps a fool, thinking…or hoping that the animosity between these two men would subside. Brady certainly showed himself tonight, that he had no regard of hurting me as long as he hurt EJ.

It would be a greater folly to remain a plaything tossed about so they can continue to hurt one another. Maybe it's time I remove myself from the equation if the end result is nothing but tragedy for all of us. I love them both but Brady needs to understand he can't remain a friend if his hatred for EJ will drive him to the lengths of tonight. And I cannot keep hurting the man I love for a friendship that has perhaps run its course.

EJ and I wasted enough time allowing Sami to come between us and now I can't allow Brady to fill that role now vacant after so many years. I turn so our bodies are facing one another. There is a trace of weary lines on his forehead. I gently brush them as though that would erase the turmoil that has defined our relationship.

I snuggle deeper into him, grateful that we have weathered the worst of it and come out stronger in the end.

I cannot imagine my life without EJ in it, how times have certainly changed. Money and the security it buys is not the reason I wake in the morning, EJ…Sydney…Johnny, they are my reason for being.

"GOD, if you are truly out there…somewhere, thank you SO much for my family…my REAL family!" I send out this private prayer out into the world with no apparent guarantee it's reached its Recipient but somehow I am certain it did.

It is at the first sign at the coming of a new day that I finally rest easily and peacefully.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30:

My ankle healed in two days, I wish I could say the same for the marks covering my arms and face, as much as I hate the woman, Kate's cosmetic line has been a godsend. Supposedly the unmistakable scratches will be close to gone in a matter of weeks and until then, makeup is going to my best friend.

There's nothing like being able to walk on your own two feet again. I know it sounds as though I am complaining but how can a person complain of being treated like a queen? EJ is his most kind, and loving. What I enjoy the most is the time we spend as a family, him…me and the kids. Since those days were too far and few in between, it is a pleasure I will forever cherish.

I return to work soon after my leg is completely healed, amidst EJ's protestations. He even insists I work from home, which is impossible. My job is to show Salem this wonderful man I know he is. The Ball is a month away. There are just too many things that still need attending to. It has even turned into an international event with several dignitaries from Europe known to the Dimera family.

That is one out of many important events I need to still see through to the end and before the year is done the whole country will think twice of the Dimera name.

It seems on the work front that all is well. EJ is bringing reform where it is desperately needed and for all his seriousness (it's been a while since I saw him smile), I know he is basking in this glory. He works hard and I would think Stefano couldn't be more proud of the progress he is making in so short a time. Reports of Mayor Dimera are nothing but positive, as well as can be expected under the circumstances for the son of a known mafia.

There are detractors in every corner, obviously, but EJ is well versed to deal with them.

On the home front, I am not so sure.

EJ loves me and I know this without a doubt but I can't help feeling something is off.

I am not sure exactly how much my scars actually affect EJ. They are like a constant reminder to me of that crazy night. The scars not even skin deep any more. They are a superficial but present mark on my face. A person would have to be within a few inches to see them.

However I see him always looking at my reflection in the mirror after I have taken a bath or when removing my makeup and he always has this distant look like he sees something there that is invisible to me…like he's looking at me but not… When I ask he always tells me he is fine, okay as long as I am home and safe, he couldn't be happier.

I'm not so sure.

"…Home and safe…"

Over and over he repeats these words as though he's trying to make himself believe.

Something is bothering him. He won't talk to me. He is worried and therefore I worry about him. Something has changed the dynamic of our relationship. I never thought about it until that crazy night in those woods.

I remember our time in Chicago. It was magical to say the least. One thing though about that time then and now, that honestly may not mean anything but I can't shake the thought now that it's crossed my mind, is that EJ has never once let me out of his sight, not when he can help it.

When he's not in the office or at a meeting or out of the city he's with me…always even when I am on my errands. If our lives weren't so busy it would be glaringly obvious to a blind man but I have been consumed by mo own things to actually notice.

When we are apart he calls me constantly on the hour every hour. When we are together he holds me more tightly than usual. I can't believe that I am finding fault in his attentions and affections as much as I appreciate them all but something…

I wake one morning to find him staring at me. There's so much love in his eyes but it's coupled with other emotions I can't decipher. He gently strokes my face, which is not a bad thing at all except I know he is tracing those wretched marks. I have traced them a million times over to know where and how long they are.

I take his hand away and hold it against my chest.

"EJ…"

"Good morning," he says and smiles but it's shallow and never reaches his eyes.

"EJ…is it; I mean is it a good morning because I honestly am starting to think you haven't had one in a long time."

"What ever do you mean?" he says but turns away from me.

"EJ…SERIOUSLY…? How many times must ask you if you are okay and I know your answer. You've said it so many times I have memorised it by heart.

_I'm fine Nicole; I'm okay as long as you are home and safe!_

It is making me sick. You're not fine and you are most definitely not okay even though I AM home and I AM safe because I am with you.

What is wrong? Why won't you tell me?

We are supposed to be partners in everyway but you're shutting me out!" I say in near desperation.

"Is it Brady? You know I haven't seen or spoken to him in weeks.

"Of course not, why should that little tit bother me?" he scoffs and walks away from our bed.

"Well SOMETHING is bothering you and you refuse to tell me. When we came back from Chicago (he flinches) we swore things would be different between us…"

"They ARE…"

"Then why won't you talk to me…you can't even look at me?"

I can see his muscles work as he faces me. That little gesture only makes me feel worse. His eyes are averted, like he's trying to look every which way except my face. I try not to show him how hurt that makes me.

"We talk…"

"Yes we do talk…about everything…and about nothing. Sometimes I wonder…"

"You wonder about what?" he asks more lively, like a light bulb just went of in his head.

"It's nothing, forget it, you have an early day today…we both do; maybe we should focus on that." I say with obvious disappointment.

He doesn't contradict me but I had already expected that. I don't know what made me think things could be different but it seems the more things change the more they stay the same. Was it too much to expect that we would be on the level with one another?

I throw back the covers and head towards the bathroom door.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Oh that's rich; he couldn't have cared five minutes ago when I had to beg him to actually acknowledge me and my concerns.

"I'm going to take a shower and go to work!"

"But we aren't done…"

"You could have fooled me!"

"Please Nicole, don't be like that." He says quietly.

He walks up to me and covers the hand that is already turning the door handle with his.

Damn you EJ for playing tug of war with my emotions.

"Like what?" I say with a little bite to show him I didn't appreciate this situation any more than he did.

"…Like you're angry with me. I know I haven't been fun to hang out with lately (and we hang out a lot)…I guess this job is taking its toll on me; more so than I expected. If it seems like I am shutting you out or am being aloof or whatever, I don't mean to. There's just so much craziness in being the Mayor that I don't want it to affect us."

"But it does affect us; don't you see? What happens to you happens to me. We ARE life partners after all."

"Actually that's not entirely accurate…" he says bearing down on me his brown eyes sincere.

"We aren't partners; not yet any way. I want that to change.

Marry me?" he asks.

"I already said I will marry you…" I say somewhat confused by the change in topic.

"That's not what I mean. I am asking you to marry me…today. I want you to become my wife today."

"Are you out of your mind? That must be it, you've lost it. Elvis I know your schedule like I know mine. Neither of us can afford to be spontaneous and r…"

"…Romantic?"

"I was going to say reckless."

"Come on Nikki, let's do this. We have waited long enough. I want my wife back?"

"But Honey I AM back, I'm right here and I am not going anywhere and neither are you."

I see my words affect him but not as I expected.

"Is it wrong for a man to want to proclaim his undying love and devotion to the only woman he loves?"

"No…"

"Then it's settled, I'll ask Cynthia to get the children ready."

"Now you're really confusing me."

"Oh I am sorry, that's not my intention at all. I intend to make you my wife today; for us to be a real family again.

"And how is Stefano going to take this news. I think he didn't expect us to get married…ever. This will just piss him off even more than I know he already is.

"I know; but I am marrying you, not my father."

"You say that now EJ but I know you. You put on this façade like your father's opinion of you doesn't count or matter to you but I know it does. You may not be marrying Stefano but I know a part of you will always long for his approval, even in this."

"Oh for goodness' sake Nicole, where is all coming from?" he asks exasperated.

"You can't hide from me as well as you think, mister."

I try to go around him but his heavy frame blocks the bathroom entrance.

"Marry me?"

"EJ move! You are going to make me late for my appointment."

"Marry me?" he leans forward and asks again.

"EJ, you know I love you…"

"MARRY ME!" He drops his head just right so he whispers the words into my ear in that sexy English tone that always turns my knees to jelly.

"No" I don't know how that word escaped my lips but it only spurs him on.

He ups the ante and moves in for a frontal attack. His hand begins exploring my body. I know what he's trying to do and he does it ever so well but I can't give in now. It's crazy that he wants us to do this, spur of the moment.

"Marry me?" he says taking a step forward only to push me back.

I try reasoning with him but to no avail. And already I can sense I am weakening. He takes one more step, then another and then another. Before I know it, we are back in bed and he's on top of me showering me with hot kisses and more.

He finally stops and looks deep into my eyes and says, "I love you so very much."

"I know…"

"No you don't, you can't know how much you mean to me.

But I am going to spend the rest of my life telling you…showing you just how much I love Nicole Dimera."

His obvious sincerity moves me to take the initiative this time around.

"No…no; we do this my way," he says suddenly.

"Okay…" is the only word I manage to say as I watch EJ love me…all of me.

He especially takes extra care over the marks I earlier thought were the reason for his distance; kissing each scar as we plunged deeper into our love.

Long after our passion is spent and I rest lovingly over his broad chest, I realise just how perfect my life is; all of it except for one thing.

"Yes…yes I will marry you!"


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31:

Several hours later I am standing at the foot of the aisle in our garden holding on to Johnny's hand. The short path is strewn with a considerable amount of white petals while the overhead shades us from the heat of the sun. The symphony of multi coloured flowers leads me to where EJ stands with our daughter in his arms, who has a blue tiger lily (same as my modest bouquet) perfectly coifed in her hair.

Something blue…

From my standpoint I see only the minister and EJ but when the melodic sound of a harp begins to play, from EJ mow upright figure Johnny takes that as a signal and starts leading me down to meet the love of my life. He turns to watch me make my way down the rather short aisle, but somehow it feels like an eternity, I can't wait till I can finally call him my husband.

He stands under the decorated gazebo; dressed in an immaculate black suit and a tie; picture perfect just like Johnny.

He mouths an "I love you so much," while I am just half way. Little Sydney points at me and I can hear her calling to me to hurry, before long my eyes begin to water but I stop somehow keep them from falling. I am suddenly overcome with emotion, when EJ asked that we marry today I didn't quite imagine this day turning to this wonderland.

He has surprised me at every turn. When I told him I needed to run some errands before his planned impromptu wedding, he actually agreed. I was surprised at how easy it was to get him to go about my day as if this was not the day we would renew our vows.

Upon my return I found a simple but sophisticated strapless pale white gown on our bed, with a quaint rigid bow separating the bust from the high waist body hugging skirt that reached all the way to below my knees. It was gorgeous and most importantly…a Vera Wang creation.

There were two boxes resting next my wedding dress. I opened the first…the smallest to find a pair of breathtakingly beautiful pearl earrings.

Something new…

The second box made my heart melt. It was my grandmother's pearls. This was the most wonderful surprise of all. I last wore them on our first wedding, that bitter sweet day so many years ago. Despite the memories surrounding our first marriage and how it ended. I remember how I felt when I wore these the first time. Fay, my mother had given them to me for that purpose.

She knew how I loved to parade in them all day whenever Paul was no where to be found. It always hurt when she took them from me, hide them where I couldn't find them all because of Paul but I always found them. It was the one picture of something good in my little world and my mother had finally given them to me.

The last time I saw them was when I was on the run with Sydney, when things got so bad for us. I was faced with a choice…Sydney or my Nana's pearls. And now here they were. They were brighter and more beautiful than I had ever seen them. When did EJ…how did he find them? It was YEARS ago!

Something old…

Just as I am about to take my place by his side Lexi walks up to me.

"Wait…I can't let you do this. Something is wrong." She says.

I look from her then to EJ and then back to her, puzzled.

"Oh no, this can't be happening," is the first thought in my head.

'You are missing something," she continues.

"I am…?"

"Yes."

She pulls out a gold hair pin and holds it between us.

"This used to belong to my mother she passed it on to me when we found each other. She says it belonged to her mother before and her grandmother before that."

She walks up to me and clips the pin at the back of my head, so holds tightly the disobedient loose strands of my blonde hair that my comb couldn't keep together.

"Oh Lexi…" I am pleasantly surprised. The water begin and I don't even care about my makeup anymore (not that I had anything to worry about).

I truly thought that it would be me and EJ and the kids only. I don't have any family left in town and my friends are nothing to speak of right now. My relationship with EJ's family has been nothing but turbulence since they day I came into his life. So I didn't expect any of them to show with everything being so last minute.

I know how important his family is to him but this morning he seemed resolved to go through with the wedding without them. He did his best to act like it didn't matter. Stefano is out of town, Lexi is still nursing her own wounds, the emotional kind over EJ's election as mayor. Like her brother, she loves him dearly even though they constantly find themselves at odds.

"…There…it's perfect!" she says as she looks over her handy work.

Something borrowed…

"Lexi, thank you so much, and THANK YOU for coming to share this day with us. I know EJ appreciates it and so do I"

"No need to thank me, I wanted to be here for EJ…and for you. My brother loves you so very much I have seen that and I love him.

Now go to him!" she says as she directs me to my past and future husband.

His outstretched hand takes my free hand and holds tightly.

"Look Daddy, she's crying," says Johnny.

"No, she's beautiful, says EJ.

He pulls me right up against him and plants an impassioned kiss on me.

"No, not yet Daddy; you are supposed to wait until…until… the Mister tells you to kiss Mama," interjects Sydney, still perched in her daddy's strong arms.

We all burst into laughter.

"I know Poppet, Daddy's in a rush that's all but I promise I will behave myself and wait till the MINISTER says I can kiss your Mama.

Can I kiss you in stead?" he asks his daughter to which she turns a blushing pink hue and giggles.

We stand there for another minute, just embracing as a family…at least not yet anyway.

"Can we begin?" asks the man of the cloth bringing us back to reality.

"Her let me take these two?" asks Lexi as she takes Sydney from EJ.

"NO…I mean…can they stand up here with us?" I look enquiringly at EJ.

"It's a new beginning for us…for our family and I was thinking that we all should share in it. I am sure the kids would love that, I know I would." I say.

"If this is what you really want…" he smiles.

I nod my head in confirmation.

Yes, this is what I want.

"Alright then, if we all take our places, then we can proceed," says the minister.

"Dearly beloved…

May I have the rings, for the blessing…

I believe you have prepared your own vows, Mr Dimera?

Mr Dimera…" he says.

Oh my EJ, it seems we are both crying. He brushes off the unshed tears and clears his throat. All the while the two little ones are caught up between us craning their poor little necks to see…

"My Beloved, I stand before you a humbled man…still unsure whether or not this vision before me is real. I am not a man of many words however here…and now is the perfect time to open my heart and let you peer inside at this miracle you brought into my life. I am unworthy, for lack of a better word.

You honour me. Your unconditional love, your patience, your faithfulness are just a few of the character I cherish in you. You have loved me when I was unlovable. You had patience with me lost my way. Your faithfulness overwhelms me everyday. I have never a heart than the one you have offered me time and time again.

I ask that you honour me still by accepting this gift I give you freely today…a heart eternally bound to yours. I used to think I knew everything but you taught me the greatest lesson of all, to love wholly and completely; to freely give my life to another only to find again in the one I love the most, my truest and best friend; YOU!

I Elvis Aaron Dimera take you, Nicole Walker to be my lawfully wedded wife (He slips the ring into my finger), my companion and my lover for life from this day forth, to have and to hold, for better, for worse, for richer, for poor, in sickness and in health, until death separates us!" he says with quiet assurance.

He wipes the tears streaming down my face with his handkerchief. How am I supposed to follow that? And I just can't stop crying.

"Damn it!" the words fly out my mouth amidst the tears. I must look a complete mess.

"It's okay…It's okay, you can do this." says EJ, smiling.

"Okay, I can do this…

EJ, where do I begin? The first thought I had when I met you was, 'I had found my soul mate.' In that one instant I saw my life and I knew I had found my place in the world, after a lifetime of searching and always missing the mark. You were the first person to look at me and SEE me and not run in a million directions.

I know I have said this before but it bears repeating, where you are is my true home. I have never had one, where I felt loved and secure. You are my first in so many ways.

You are the first man to love me for me.

You are the first to accept all of me.

You are the first who ever took care of me.

When I married for love, it was to you.

Every other relationship I ever had is characterised with me just taking, you were the first I GAVE my heart to and I was happy to do so.

You are my best friend in the whole world.

You are the father to my Sydney and Johnny.

You are the love of my life.

I am honoured to be your wife…AGAIN.

I Nicole walker take you Elvis Aaron Dimera to be my lawfully wedded husband (I slip the ring into his finger), my companion and my lover for life from this day forth, to have and to hold, for better, for worse, for richer, for poor, in sickness and in health, until death separates us!" I say those wonderful words to bind us forever.

What follows next become a blur until the words we have all been waiting for.

"…You may now kiss the bride!"

"Kiss her Daddy!" yells both Sydney & Johnny at the same time.

EJ cups my face in his hands, as if to memorise every contour.

"Well don't just stand there you heard them," Lexi says this time.

"I know, I know, don't rush me," he says.

He then turns all his attention to me.

"Nicole DIMERA (he smiles, as thought tasting my name on his lips for the first time), I LOVE YOU!" he says emphatically before bonding our union with the expected yet unexpectedly passionate kiss.

"I love you too!" I breathe every syllable into my husband.


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32:

We are going on our honeymoon and can you believe it's actually our first. I have married this man three times and renewed our vows at least once and this is the first time we have left Salem for some official wedding sanctioned good loving. He tells me he is taking the a few days off from being Mayor, "The city will just have to understand!"

I am giddy with excitement because it is also surprise. When I ask him to give me more clues as to where we are going but he clams up, "I'm not spilling," he says.

It will ruin everything.

Eventually he relents and gives me two things…a beautiful garden overlooking a river.

"That could be anywhere in the world. Since we are taking the jet, this place, it must be out of the country? (No…?) Come on EJ; at least tell me something I can use."

"I thought I just did!" he says as we are on our way to the airport.

He spirits me away the moment we touched down somewhere. This operation is so covert the pilot only gives the barest minimal details like 'fasten your seatbelts' and 'we will land shortly!'

I barely catch my breath before we are at the back of a luxury Rolls Royce, heading out o the city. It takes only a few more minutes before I realise where we are…New Orleans, Louisiana.

I was excited, looking forward to a little southern hospitality, a vast difference to back home. The atmosphere alone was enough to put me on a natural high for months on end…the people, the music, the food. I am pleasantly surprised. I can't help but feel some sort of kinship with this place. These people are survivors in the truest sense, to rise above the tragedy and hardship warms my heart, I smile at him to show my approval.

"Are you alright Darling?" asks EJ as he holds my hand.

"It's nothing…" I said batting the tears away.

"Can we…? No forget it." I changed my mind.

"No, go ahead and say whatever it was you wanted to say."

He squeezed my hand for encouragement.

"I want to do something. Can we do something…before we leave?"

"Of course, whatever you want!" he declares emphatically, which makes me smile.

No one can tell me this man doesn't have a heart. He is master at hiding it and walking around as though he doesn't feel but I know better.

"It will even be better if the MAYOR of Salem did something!" I said.

"No Sweetheart, this will be a private matter. I am on my honeymoon and my wife wants to donate some money or rebuild a house or visit an orphanage, it doesn't matter what it is, this will stay between you and me! I don't want any hound dogs sniffing around us and making this into something that it is not."

It is some time later when I ask for what must be the hundredth time.

"Where are you talking me Mr Dimera?" I ask still unsure of our true destination.

"It's a surprise!" is all he says.

"COME ON, you have to tell me something…ANYTHING. I can't take the suspense. I show him my hand hoping he'll at least cave and stop this torture.

We finally turn up on road embanked by majestic southern live oaks. Finally the car comes to a halt in front of a wrought iron gate.

"What's wrong?" he asks suddenly noticing my blanched expression.

"Maison Blanche…" I utter each word in disbelieve.

"You brought me here…in this place…? I heard so many uh…stories about this place." I can hardly speak, all excitement flushed away the moment I read those letters meticulously plastered on the side wall leading to the gate where we now stopped.

"Ghost stories Nicole, really…? I thought you had more sense than to believe the rumour mill," his tone is sharper that I expected but I ignore it.

"You have nothing to be worried about here," he says.

The gates open and we drive in and I can't help but worry a bit. It is irrational but I am not a fool. Stefano did some crazy things to a lot of people in Salem and it involved this house. I can see the house at a distance and the knot in my stomach gets tighter and tighter. I do my best to stay calm and not show my apprehension. EJ did do this for me, he wanted us to have a wonderful and memorable time away together and I must not ruin things.

I turn and smile at EJ but I don't think I convinced him, I didn't even convince myself. He just squeezes my hand and continues to alleviate my fears as lovingly as he is able without losing all of his patience.

"I used to love coming here when I was a child and I can promise you this place is nothing more than an old plantation house Santo bought from a friend of the family. There are no dungeons, where half of Salem was tortured at least none that I ever saw.

I know it doesn't look at all inviting (It looked whiter that an old dried up skeleton especially with all those columns in the front) but I promise you once we are inside you will see how amazingly beautiful this place is. Father didn't spare a single cent refurbishing this place after the hurricane. It's historical ground and even though the government wanted to help restore and preserve, father would have none of it."

He is right…or at least is half way right, the inside is beautiful, magnificent even. Almost all the walls are laden with history…American and otherwise, I recognise some of the painting but I can't match them to their painting, the artwork is much older than the house itself and has surprisingly survived the flooding.

EJ has one of the servants take our bags to our room and then he takes me on a tour of this museum he calls 'home away from home'.

It is massive, there are four separate wings and they all have their own magnificent view, either of the city or of the river. Each wing has its own dining hall that could fit at least ten times the size of my first dingy apartment, and they have their own themes too. It is truly beautiful…if only I didn't get a chill running down my spine every time we entered a room.

The number of different passage spreading out more than the webs of a spider didn't help things. I was already lost three times in my head, I am just glad EJ is still by my side. At this rate he will never be anywhere else but…

After the tour we head to our chambers HIS master bedroom only separated from HER master bedroom by a door in between. The though of sleeping alone in this place was enough to give me nightmares and I am only glad EJ didn't even consider that option.

After we freshen up he ushers me to one of the many patios overlooking the river. The sun has already set leaving behind a hue of reds turning to night time blue on the eastern horizon. The cool evening air fills with sounds of life and the blooming garden is intoxicating. The garden lights swallow much of the ensuing darkness. It helps if the man of my dreams is just sitting across from me, it is perfect. This is all I want…all I will ever want in life.

The uneasiness I couldn't shake earlier has now dissipated as EJ leads me to the table already prepared for our first of many romantic dinners as man and wife. He pulls out my chair to which I oblige and sit.

"For you Madame…" he says as he pours me a glass of wine.

"Thank you," I respond.

He then sits across from me and smiles.

"What…?"

"Oh nothing, I still can't believe my fortune. You are my wife…" his smile broadens.

"And you are my husband!"

Suddenly a smile crosses my lips, I understand.

"I can't believe we finally did it; we got married and without any drama to boot. I can imagine what you father will think."

"Oh he knows…"

"And…?"

"It doesn't matter what he thinks; only you matter to me. Tell me you are happy?"

"Are you serious, how can you ask me that? Of course I am happy to be your wife again, for now and always."

Dinner is amazing as I expected; from oysters baked in what smelled wine sauce, onions and peppers (Huitres Bienville), crawfish soup (Bisque d'ecrevisses) and my absolute favourite speckled trout with lemon butter sauce amongst other d, southern style.

"Mmm…I see what you're doing…"

"And what am I doing?" he asks.

"You are trying to fatten me up."

"I am only giving my wife the best of everything she wants. Tell me what you want and it is done!

"Are you for real?"

"Go ahead, ask…" he says with much certainty.

I could ask for anything…anything at all and I know now he would not hesitate to give me; be it a diamond the size of a fist or an Italian sports car of a different colour for every day of the week or even a mansion in every major city in the world so I wouldn't breath the same air for longer than a month in any given location; I don't doubt my EJ would give me, if I asked him.

"Nicole…?"

"I can have anything and I mean anything I want?" a sly smile lingers on my lips.

"Yes…ANYTHING!" He says with more emphasis.

"Well how can a girl resist?" I say.

I push back my chair, walk round the table and pull him to his feet. I start leading him but he stops me.

"What are you doing?" he asks, a little unsure.

"You sir said I can have ANYTHING I wanted, I am come to collect on that rather generous offer," he gives me the oddest look I have ever seen on him.

"But you haven't told me what you want."

"…Really EJ, I thought you were smarter that this.

…YOU! (OH!)

It's you that I want…ONLY YOU!

Now take me upstairs this instant!" I command.

He grins.

"…As you wish!"

Our first night of wedded bliss is the most wonderful night of my life; and so is our second. There are moments when I think it can't get any better than this but it does on the third night. Which only makes me look forward to our fourth...our fifth…and the rest of the days (nights) our lives, it is so wonderful. Being in this old house and its haunted walls doesn't seem so bad because EJ is with me.

But this is Maison Blanche, Stefano's creepy Maison Blanche. EJ's stories of when he used to visit with his father in this very house do nothing to ward off niggling feeling at the back of my mind.

It is on the third night after we are both spent from the most intense love making that my unease return. In the dead of night I wake to find EJ not lying next to me. I brush it off and try to go back to sleep; however sleep evades me. The room is darkness and light at the same time with mysterious shadows dancing outside one of the windows, perhaps a tree shaking in the wind.

"Where is EJ?" is my only thought.

After what seems like an hour a shadow creeps closer to the side of the bed at the corner of my eye. I have the good sense to stifle my scream when upon clearer viewing I see that it is only EJ.

I call out his name but it comes out in a choked whisper (from the fright) but it is very much still audible. He says nothing except gets back into bed and before I can say any more his heavy but slow breathing tells me he is out like a light.

"EJ…?

EJ…can you hear me?" I call out and shake him just a little, but nothing.

There's no response.

I try one more time and yield the same result. It's pointless to pursue this further now when I, myself am dead tired and confused and probably scaring myself half to death.

"Go to sleep Nicole!" I chide myself for over thinking and harbouring a little bit of irrationality.

"Go to sleep!" I repeat the words to myself until my body finally obeys.

I should have known that all good things come to an end.

I was right to worry.


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33:

He is ignoring me. Every time I bring up the subjects he acts as though he didn't hear me and starts going on about Bo Brady or Kate and her drama as though I care about any of these people.

Something is wrong, I can feel it. Things have not been the same since New Orleans and it's not our love making or anything related to that, truthfully that has become even better if at all possible. He is so attentive and yet so vulnerable and open; which is even more frustrating when he refuses to talk to me.

I finally corner my husband one morning, several days since our honeymoon. He is in his private study going through some council documents. It's a familiar sight, his shirt sleeves are rolled up his arm, his reading glasses perched typically over the rim of his nose. I can't help but smile. Once upon a time I didn't believe he would take being mayor so seriously but there he is…concentrating.

"Honey we need to talk!"

"Oh I am sorry Sweetheart it will have to wait, this is important and I need ALL of me to focus at the job at hand."

"I understand but this is also important."

He gives me a pensive look but quickly returns to his papers.

"EJ the sooner you give me an honest answer the quicker I will shut up and let you work but I can't do that. Can you blame me for being worried about you?"

"I love that you care so much but there's really nothing to worry about. I am fine!"

"You BLANKED OUT!"

"I was deep in thought!"

"I don't buy it and you know it. I know something is up and you are trying to protect me from what's really going on with you. (He scoffs)

How about the times you couldn't remember whether you had read the kids their bedtime story, or that you spoke with Stefano just minutes ago?"

"There was something ELSE I needed to say. Nicole why are we having this conversation again?" he says with a hint of anger.

"Because you are lying to me…I know you EJ, you forget. I know how meticulous you are…prepared…organised to the last letter. You don't do half and half like calling your father five minutes after you just spoke to him ABOUT THE SAME THING!

Tell me what is wrong with you and I will drop it with the twenty questions?"

I prefer you drop it NOW!" He says barely controlling his anger.

Good…at least I am getting some reaction from him!

He removes his glasses to rub his eyes in exasperation. He looks tired and I hate making things worse for him with all this questioning.

"I'm sorry." I say, realising that pushing him doesn't help the situation at all.

He comes round his desk and wraps his arms around my waist, holding me gently.

"No, I am sorry…for being so difficult. I'm fine I promise but if it will make you feel any better I will make an appointment with Lexi…first thing tomorrow morning. Until then, I have to get back to work. I have a very busy day ahead of me and an important lunch date to boot. I am putting forth a proposal and I am hoping it will be well received and that nothing will go wrong with the plans I have for some uh…domestic development.

Can you forgive me?" he says; looking at me with those doe eyes I can't resist.

I gently press my lips to his and tell him as long as he forgives me in return.

Later that day I find myself at the town square waiting for my one o'clock. The plans for the ball are coming along nicely. Except for a few details everything seems to be in place; the venue, the décor, the catering; the music. I did not spare a dime for this night, but we will make a hundred times more alone for charity. It will be perfect.

My assistant pencilled in a last minute meeting for lunch and this individual is to meet me at the Horton Town Square…Barnyard Grills to be specific.

It appears I am early, so the waitress ushers me to a table for two, a quaint little thing that can barely fit me let alone two people but I keep my opinion to myself. Why couldn't we meet at the office where we can better discuss whatever it is that is the cause for this meeting?

I take my seat and start going through the wine menu. I order a bottle of Rosé. In the interim I remove my organiser and a file or two placing them on the bleached tablecloth to double check the orders for the ball which is now just two weeks away. I could not be more thrilled even if I tried.

I don't want to blow my own horn but I can't help but be satisfied that I did this all on my own. Well not quite. EJ was by my side the entire time. However it does warm my heart to know nobody can claim credit, Kate who has hounded me since day one finally gave up trying to worm her way into my plans.

This night is more than just my accomplishment but it is a celebration of EJ Dimera and I want the whole world to know who he is and all that HE is capable of. It is a night to celebrate my husband's achievements and to shut the Nay-Sayers up and show these ingrates that Dimeras are doing a new thing, a better thing. It won't hurt to know that important people will be there to witness it all…governors; senators; princes; business people; almost every one who matters will be there and Elvis will knock them dead.

I planned it all and even then not everyone is satisfied to be specific, his family! Kate, like Stefano, just wants to turn the attention back to them; to laud their sense of self-worth and power therefore shoving EJ and me aside.

It's his family but damn it must everything always be about Stefano this or Stefano that. And the nerve of that plastic-faced crone to tell me how a night like this should be left to professionals who know what class is. She forgets one thing; I know EJ like nobody else and I love him like nobody else; not even his father can claim that. Everything I do, I do for him and only him. I would never let him fail!

So hear I am waiting for God knows who, Julia said it was in relation to some dignitary from somewhere in Europe who was concerned over security. They wanted to meet with me to discuss the finer points concerning that night and now they are late!

Twenty-three minutes and counting... I called Julia earlier and she assured me they were on the way but this is now ridiculous.

Someone leans over my shoulder and nuzzles the nape of my neck causing me to literally jump out of my seat.

"Afternoon Darling, been waiting long?"

It's EJ.

"Damn it Elvis don't do that, you scared the crap out of me."

"Sorry Love…"

"What are you doing here; I thought you said you had an important lunch meeting to attend?"

"I do."

"Well get to it, Mr Mayor. I don't want these people thinking you don't take your position seriously, with all the time you spend with me."

"…Time well spent, I might add." He adds, soliciting a smile from my lips, and gives me a hug for good measure.

"It's not that I don't appreciate you…us spending morning, noon and night together (I really do) but Honey we both have to work." I say puling away from him, keeping it professional (he doesn't like that much).

"I can't believe you are trying to get rid of me. Are you meeting someone…a lover I perhaps don't know about?"

"No, I am meeting some security personal from one of these European counties I can't pronounce. He should have been here by now but he stood me up.

And I only have one Lover if you must know. He's tall, a little dark and a lot handsome, nobody measure up to him, my own Adonis."

"Hmm…interesting…"

"Yeah, but he's going to have to leave soon, I don't want him to be late for his appointment." I say.

"…Maybe he wants to keep you company… so he's staying…at least until your guy shows up!" he says with a sly smile.

I pause for a quarter of a minute but I am fighting a losing battle. He has me where he wants me.

"Fine, you can stay! But you make a beeline out of here at the first sight of my…"

"Deal…!"He jumps in before I can finish.

He takes the seat opposite me but the table is so small he may as well as have sat next to me but I am not complaining. He pours us both a glass of wine which was still very chilled and called the waiter again and this time ordered our meals.

We talked while we ate, discussing everything…well almost everything from the kids to the progress he was making albeit at snail pace. He had managed to weed out more resistance in the council that is supposed to help him run the city. It turns out not every one who wanted him out was fired when he first stepped into office. Luckily they made themselves painfully conspicuous with their black-balling EJ at every turn.

They even tried voting him out but his office is council strong which means no matter what they tried, EJ Dimera still wielded more power and authority and voting him out was not so easily done.

With lunch finally out the way, I checked my watch and realised just how late it was. It was long past two o'clock and neither EJ nor I seemed ready to leave. This is the most relaxed we have been since returning from Louisiana and I honestly didn't want it to end and I saw that he felt the same way.

"Now we can get down to some real business." He says, filling our glasses anew.

"What are you talking about?" I ask a little curious.

"I mean the real reason I got you out here."

"I don't get it." the alcohol is slowly affecting my brain cells as I completely miss his meaning.

"I am talking about the real reason I called this little meeting of ours."

"You…?" I am being dumb I know but he's not making himself clearer.

"Yes…me Nicole, I am the one who got you out here all along. YOU are the appointment I was talking about this morning…remember?"

I burrow through my befuddled brain to remember exactly the conversation we had this morning. The meeting I remember clearly but something else is tugging at my misty memory…something he said about his meeting…a proposal.

"Do you remember what I said?"

"You said you had a meeting, something about putting forth a proposal and hoping it goes well…"

"Almost but not entirely accurate; I have a proposal for you and I hope you do accept it."

He opens his briefcase and presents me with a set of documents.

"What's this?"

"Just read," he says quietly.

His eyes look uncertain, glassy but that could be the wine taking effect. I am already a little fuzzy myself; we emptied the bottle and had just opened another.

I could not read past the first two lines.

…APPLICATION FOR THE ADOPTION OF MINOR-GIANNI DIMERA…

…APPLICANT- NICOLE WALKER DIMERA…

"Oh my God, are you serious? You want me…"

"I want you to adopt my son; I want you to become his mother…legally!"

"Oh EJ…I don't know what to say…"

"Say you will do it…say you will be his mother?"

"…But what about Sami?"

"YOU are more a mother to my son than Samantha ever was or will ever be! She doesn't deserve him. She's is immature and a vindictive bitch that cares for no one, not even her own flesh and blood and I won't let Johnny suffer for it."

"What has Sami done to warrant this?"

I am shooting in a million different directions and I only want to rein myself back from the brink. EJ doesn't know what he's asking me. He cannot dangle this in front of me only to have it snatched away from me yet again. I have learned from the past. Caution is the only way to go.

"I don't want to talk about Samantha."

"But she is his mother."

"No she is not, not any more.

Nicole, I know what you're thinking. You are thinking that somehow Samantha is going to come and take Johnny away from you. You are afraid to even think of him as your son but don't you see? He already is yours in every way that counts.

That wench may have given birth to my boy but you are his mother. Samantha is selfish to the core sacrificing all at her altar as long as she gets what she wants. I wasted so much effort believing she truly loved my children, Sydney was the first to suffer and we know why.

She walks around town spouting garbage about her children and I have watched from the sidelines how she treats her children. William is mess, Allie is practically ignored and my Johnny is nothing more than a number….an asset to that woman, to be used in any way she pleases. Caroline sees more of her great-grandchildren than their own mother.

Johnny thinks of you as his true mother. You show him the same affection, love and care you do Sydney. To you there is no difference. They are both your children and I for one could never have fashioned a better mother for my children.

Tell me what I need to hear, tell me that you will take this last step and make my son yours…that you will give him what he longs and dreams of every night, a mother. Tell me you will adopt him?" his plea is heartfelt despite his controlled demeanour.

"You son of a BITCH, I should have known you would do this!"

We both turn in the direction of the voice…a woman's voice…Samantha's incensed voice.

"THERE IS NO WAY I AM LETTING THAT CHEAP SLUT TAKE MY SON AWAY FROM ME!"


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34:

"Oh Sami eavesdropping on a private conversation…how retro of you!" the words come out my mouth.

"What the hell are you doing here Samantha? This doesn't concern you…not any more," says EJ nonchalantly, like she's not even there huffing, puffing, nose flaring and everything so Sami.

"You are planning on stealing my baby; I think that gives me a right…"

"Unless I misread the terms of my son's custody, the last time I checked YOU have absolutely no rights to him and you know why that is. Please don't embarrass yourself any further by going down this road." He says.

"You really are a cold hearted son of a bitch do you know that? You think that because you have all this money to buy people off to give you what you want that it is okay to separate a child from his mother…"

"I am sorry but when did this motherly streak of yours bubble to the surface of your frozen heart? If you came here expecting sympathy or whatever, you are wasting your breath.

I really don't want to talk about this any more. You knew this day would come sooner or later. Nicole is Johnny's mother and there's nothing that you can do about it. Honestly I don't care if you accept it or not because I know Johnny wants nothing more than to have a real mother in his life and not someone who checks in on occasion when it pleases her."

"Whose fault is that huh? You took him away from me."

"After I found out what you did to me and Nicole, that it wasn't coincidence that you showed up at the mansion that night, or that the whole of Salem was made privy to that awful night last November; I had to take certain step to protect MY son."

"Maybe you should have kept it in the pants."

"Maybe you should have kept your trap shut!" he shoots back.

I don't know which trap he's taking about and I am too disgusted to think too hard about what he could mean…

"Sami just shut up and leave us in peace!" I finally interject, wishing she would just disappear altogether.

"The whore speaks…" she says with blatant venom.

"Zip it Samantha, before you lose more than just your legal rights to Johnny."

"What else are you going to take from me, I HAVE NOTHING BECAUSE OF YOU!" she yells at him.

"There's always something left to lose Samantha and if I were you I would do a 180 and crawl back under the rock from whence you came. Johnny, thank God, no longer needs you in his life; he hardly remembers your name. I suggest you do the same." He says dismissing her from his presence.

"You haven't heard the last from me EJ Dimera. I am going to get my son back even if I have to crawl over your dead body to do it…mark my words!" she says and turns on her heel, leaving behind whispers and awkward glances from other patrons nearest to our table.

"Are you sure that was wise?" I ask him.

The entire scene was too unsettling and it didn't help that it took place publicly. The veiled threats are still exactly that, threats and even though EJ barely raised his voice over whisper, I can't say the same for Sami. She had to cause a scene, to make sure that they saw her arguing with the mayor. What's worse is that EJ doesn't seem to care.

"Nicole she needs to be put in her place, it is long overdue, don't tell me you don't agree."

"Oh I do, I just think maybe this wasn't the right place to have this conversation."

"What else was I going to do; she came upon us and stuck her nose where it didn't belong. I will not apologise for my words or my actions and you still haven't given me an answer. Will you adopt my son or not?" he says curtly, Sami got to him even though he's trying to act like it meant nothing.

"If you are sure this is what you want…and that Johnny…"

"Yes or no Nicole, that's all I am asking…" he says impatiently.

Why the hesitation? I love that little boy as though he WERE mine and after the scene five minutes ago, Sami has no say in the matter and EJ truly wants this…and Johnny, my little boy…

"Nicole…?" I hear EJ's voice through my thoughts.

"Yes or no…"

"Yes, EJ, I would love to adopt Johnny."

The biggest smile I have ever seen on the man's face beams right back me.

When he really wants to, EJ can really melt away all doubt and resistance. To see how happy that one little word has made him washes away any apprehension I may be feeling regarding the adoption. One thing I have always wanted was to be was a mother to his children now that dream seems to be finally coming true.

"So when do we tell the kids?" I ask.

"Now!" he says quickly, pushing to his feet, taking my hand in his.

"As in now, NOW…?"

"Yes Darling, right now!" he says and whisks me through the crowded restaurant to a waiting car and driver, forgetting that I drove myself to the Square.


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35:

We are both sitting under the bed covers as I read him a bedtime story. Tonight, it's Jack and the Beanstalk. Johnny seems fascinated by the idea of being able to climb up all the way into the sky. His room is plastered with planetary systems, models of planets, planes and space shuttle on launching pads; even his bed covers have stars on them. EJ's son dreams of the sky.

"How come the beanstalk didn't reach up to the starts? Didn't Jack want to climb up all the way to the stars, like astr…ast…?"

"An astronaut…" I finish the word.

"I am going to be a…an astr…a…naut!" he says.

"…Of course you are. You are going to be the bestest astronaut in the whole wide world, I just know it!" I say to the little guy as he snuggles closer.

He is absolutely adorable. EJ has told me over and over how his son is going to have a different childhood compared to the one he had; that it would be better in every way. He caters to his every whim, no matter how impractical it may be. He says he wants Johnny to know how much he loves him and that he would do anything for him.

"I am going to fly you, Sydney and Daddy up to the moon on my space plane…"

"It's a shuttle Sweetie, a space shuttle."

"I am going to fly you, Sydney and Daddy up to the moon.

Did you know the biggest and brightest star in the sky is usually the first one to appear and the last one to disappear every morning? Daddy won't let me up that early in the morning but I have watched for it after every sunset…Daddy says it's very special.

Maybe instead of flying to the moon we should fly really high, higher than Jack and his beanstalk to the furthest and brightest star ever on my space shuttle. We can live up there together…as a family." He says excitedly.

Never mind that stars are big balls of fiery gasses but how can I burst his little bubble.

"Yes, I would love that very much." I agree and kiss the top of him messy curls in desperate need of a cut.

"Nikki…?"

"Yes…?"

Did you miss me while you were away?" He asks solemnly as while staring down at his hands as though it embarrassed him to ask that question.

"Yes, Johnny I missed you every morning, every noon and every night. I missed reading you to sleep. I missed seeing this every time I was sad because you always knew how to cheer me up like no other little boy." I say hugging him even tighter as I give the fight to hold back the tears making their way down my cheeks.

"I love you." he says earnestly.

"I love you to!" I tell him whole heartedly.

I couldn't have asked for a better homecoming after so many months apart, not just from EJ but Johnny too.

We all sit on the soft sofa with Johnny and Sydney in the middle. The sun is about to set, almost bedtime and EJ was so eager this afternoon to share the news with the kids but somehow we got a little sidetracked; blame it on the alcohol.

It's been hours since he told me he wanted me to adopt his son, to be Johnny's legal mother. When he asked me a flurry of emotions swept through me all at once. I was speechless. Sami (who always has impeccable timing) made an appearance. She overheard EJ talking and in typical fashion flew off the handle.

I wasn't 100% sure then that what EJ asked me was the right thing to do but after Sami's tirade and the thought of this little boy, it made the choice that much easier and now that we are all here as a family, I know without a doubt that it the best thing I could ever do. It would be an honour to be his mother and I would dedicate my life to making him feel safe and loved.

As of tonight he is mine.

How do you tell a child that his mother is no longer his mother, especially one like Sami Brady? I was on pins and needle since EJ rushed back from the Horton Town Square to tell the children, my heart, practically thumping and beating down against my chest I could hear it ringing in my ears.

What if he rejects me?

What if he doesn't want me as a mother? I thought.

EJ did his best to squash down any arising fear regarding telling Johnny about the adoption and he convinced me beyond a doubt that this is what Johnny wanted. EJ certainly made it clear that Johnny loved me (which I don't doubt for a minute) but did he love me enough to accept me as his mother.

I have always been Nicole and Nikki to him. For a boy of almost seven, he already knows who his mother and father are. Sami has been there for him, however sporadically, over the years whether she had custody of him or not.

When we found out about Sydney being my daughter instead of Sami's, the transition was so much easier. Sydney had never forgotten me and our bond had always been strong so when the truth finally came out, it was almost as though she had never been taken away from me. Sydney knew me as her mother even when Sami had temporarily filled that role.

And now I am replacing Sami in Johnny's life.

I have treated them both as my children and I just hope Johnny remembers that.

EJ takes him, sits him on his lap and tells him he has something to tell him.

"Johnny, Daddy has something he wants to tell you…you and Sydney both," begins EJ slowly.

Johnny looks up to his father in anticipation.

"What is it Daddy?" he asks.

"Do you remember Nicole became Sydney's Mommy? Do you remember what I said to you?"

He nods his head in response.

"You said that because Nicole had wanted to become a mommy so much, she and Sydney both wished upon a special star one night and that their wish reached the biggest and brightest star in the sky. You told me that sometimes little boys and little girls choose their mommy and daddy and that sometimes it's the mommy and daddy who choose them…"

"And…?" says EJ as though he can fish the words out of his son's memory.

"And sometimes…just sometimes when the sky is so very clear and you can see that one and only special star…only then does the mommy, the daddy and the little boy and little girl choose together and become a real family." he says quietly.

I don't miss a single word Johnny says, or the implication. My heart start racing uncontrollably but I rein it in for fear that it would burst either from pure joy or shattering disappointment.

"Do you want to go outside to check and see if the sky is clear and look for the biggest and brightest star?" asks EJ.

My heart is racing up and down between my chest and throat at this stage. All the while Sydney nestles against me, playing with her favourite doll. A big hungry yawn escapes her, maybe I should take her straight to bed, maybe I should stop being a coward and wait just a little longer.

Is my answer truly written in the stars…literally?

"Johnny do you maybe want us to go and have a look at the stars tonight?" he asks his son yet again.

Johnny finally puts me out of my misery and nods his head vigorously.

"Yes Daddy, can we?"

"Yes we can. Come on then, let's go."

EJ lifts him up into his arms and they head for the patio glass doors. Johnny turns back to where Sydney and I are still sitting and beckons us with his little hand to come join him and his Daddy outside, to gaze up high into the night sky, in search of the biggest and brightest star!

Tonight Johnny and I made our wish upon a lone star high up in the sky.

EJ defied his father this morning because of me. I wasn't feeling well last night and when I woke up I had improved but only just. I tell him I am fine. I am running a slight fever (and a few minor cramps) but he won't listen. He insists we go see Daniel today. He seems uncharacteristically more worried suddenly and it's not that I am complaining. It feels good to be the focus of all his attention even though it's because of the baby.

Stop it Nicole, EJ loves you…you know it is true just forget about what Brady said…forget about Sami and remember you are having EJ's baby. That is all that matters. My thoughts swing precariously from one extreme to the opposite.

"I told you I am fine," I say with even less conviction.

"I know you keep telling me that but it won't hurt to err on the side of caution just this once…at least for my peace of mind, let's see a doctor and be certain there's nothing wrong. All I am asking for in just one hour." He says.

I am being paranoid, I know but ever since I mentioned the cramps and EJ's less than reassuring reaction I admit I am a bit wary of every doctor's visit. I know he has not said so but I feel as though I am more a burden to him with this pregnancy and imagine he'd like nothing more than to be rid of me. And for but a moment I wish I wasn't all pregnant with his baby, knowing what I know; but how could I wish for such a thing. This baby is a miracle; if not his, at the very least it is mine!

"THANK GOD!" He exclaims in relief.

We have just come from the hospital and Daniel gave me the all clear after he had performed every test he could and came to the conclusion that everything seemed normal.

"What about her cramps?" he had asked Daniel

"That is normal for pregnant woman to experience those as long as they are in moderation. Obviously if they are a regular occurrence we may need to proceed with a little more caution. Nicole…have you had any more cramps since the last time we spoke…more sever than usual?"

I looked at EJ and instead saw not the man who held my hand with a worried look on his face but rather saw the one who quarrelled with me just days before about using this baby to control him.

No, I had said.

So I lied.

How could I tell them the truth when EJ literally accused me of something so low as using our child like this is some game? So I lied to Daniel, I lied to EJ; the cramps were getting worse…I wasn't coming down with a cold or any such thing, but I am taking maternity yoga and the breathing exercises are actually helping. There's truly nothing to worry about…like Daniel said, this is normal after all!

EJ sweeps me off my feet, telling me how happy he is that the baby is okay, that I am okay.

"What more can I ask for?" he says as he looks deeply into my eyes.

He is always HAPPY…happy to have me in his life…happy I am having his child…happy that he has us both under his roof…now he's happy the baby is okay…HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY!

Not once has he said the words I most long to hear from his lips…

My lack of response prompts him to kiss me passionately, igniting the ever burning fire within me as he spins me around.

Oh God…how Elvis drives me senseless. Does he know how much I love him? He must…

He puts me back down and continues to hold me. And for longer than is actually comfortable we just stand there looking at each, afraid to be the first to speak and yet having so much to say.

"Nikki…"

"EJ…"

We both speak at the same time and laugh sheepishly because of it. This only makes the silent moment in between even more awkward but not in a bad way. Somehow we are nervous; I can see it in his eyes. EJ has never been able to completely mask his emotions from me.

I on the other hand have never been at a loss for words.

"You go first." I say.

"No, you go first," he insists.

I try retrieving all my thought through the fog induced by his warm arms around me.

"I'm sorry. I am sorry about today and about yesterday and the day before that. I know our situation isn't exactly ideal I wish I could make things better for…"

"Nikki what are you talking about, I couldn't be happier (I wince) even if I tried. Darling I am the one who should be apologising to you for my boorish behaviour. I have been insensitive to your needs and there is absolutely no excuse for it. I have not been the man you deserve. I am sorry, can you forgive me?"

Oh this is unexpected.

His apology warms my heart. EJ is a proud man and apologies are more likely to be pried from his dead cold fingers than willingly and unsolicited. A well of emotions springs forth; he can't know how much this means to me.

"Yes EJ I forgive you…" I say easily enough.

"But there is also one more thing I need your forgiveness for neglecting," he says.

"What are you talking about?" I ask.

He leads me to the sofa and takes a seat next to me whilst holding onto my left hand.

"I have been unfair to you and in fact a bit cruel in my conduct."

"EJ let me stop you there, you have been the most kind and caring man I have ever known…" I interrupt him.

"No, let me finish, I need to get this out. I should have said this a long time ago I don't know why I never did…actually I do…

Nicole we had the most unconventional start in our relationship and I admit in the beginning I was wary, suspicious (he studies my reaction). In the beginning I was an ocean of confusion. When you breezed into my life, I was neck deep in lies manipulations and scheming; trying to win Samantha away from Lucas.

There you were; a breath of the freshest air that I have ever known existed. You honestly knocked me out for a six and I was resistant because I was convinced Samantha was the one for me. Every day I spent in your presence was like stepping out into the light, suddenly I wanted more of you and less of the darkness now so ingrained within me.

You broke me free from a life of misery…literally and I never thanked you for that. But instead of welcoming this change a fear suddenly gripped my heart. I wanted you, longed for you despite myself, but this was something new to me, something I had never experience and for the first time in a very long time I got the taste of not being in control. You know me Nicole, you know my father…control is EVERYTHING and I am not excusing my behaviour but I do need you to understand.

I have struggled against my nature and you have paid the most for it. The day you told me we were having a baby, I wanted to shout it to the whole world that very minute but a cold fear gripped my heart. Every day you have told me in a million and one ways how much you love me and not once have I spoke those words in return and I am ashamed!

Please understand it wasn't because I never felt the same way; it was because I DID feel just the same for you that I never said anything…until now. You can call me coward if you will, I have been nothing else unfortunately. Day in and day out I watched you lay your heart at my feet as I held on tightly to mine because of how I was raised. It's no excuse I know…"

"What are you saying?" I can't help but cut him off impatient for him to get to the point.

"I love you.

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!" He says emphatically.

THIS is definitely unexpected!

"Tell me I am not too late (…No)? Tell me I haven't driven you away (…No)?

Do you still love me because I most EMPHATICALLY love you, with all of my heart?

Nicole…?"

Yes! Yes! YES!

"…Mrs D…hey, wakey-wakey…rise and shine!"

I hear a male voice but it's so far, I can barely make out what he's saying.

"Look she's coming to…about damn time. I was getting tired of babysitting a near corpse…now the fun can really begin," says the strange voice.

"You have your orders, don't you make me repeat them again," says another voice different to the first.

Half of my body is frozen while the other is as stiff as a board…a frozen board. I can't move.

"Open your eyes Nicole," but my eyelids won't obey me.

"Say something, where am I…to who do those strange voices, in the distance, belong…?" but my lips are glued shut.

"He should have gotten our message by now…there's no way he can mistake what happened to his wife…" Strange Voice No.1 says.

"Of course he did you idiot, it's all over the news. The mayor is apparently still distraught. And do I have to call your cousin…again?" threatens Strange Voice No.2

"No, I already told no need to do that. There is no need to worry him over nothing, really Angelo."

"You idiot, she CAN'T know who we are (SLAP!). That's it; I am calling your cousin."

"No-NO-NO, please don't I swear I will do everything you say just don't tell…"

"Then keep your trap shut, you hear me?"

"Of course…sorry, you won't hear another peep from me I swear on my Momma's grave!"

"Everything has to go according to plan; I don't need you screwing everything up because you talk like a schoolgirl!

I had heard enough. Where was I?

"It doesn't matter where, just get out!

Get up Nicole, GET UP NICOLE!" but I am too tired and I really just want to sleep…

"Good morning Mrs Dimera." He says as he lifts his head from my chest.

"A very good morning Mr Dimera…" I give him a knowing smile as I think back to what we did just a few hours ago.

"Yes it is.' He says, and then gives a proper greeting.

"Oh must you go to go out of town today?" I ask EJ.

"If I could shorten the trip I would. At the most, I will be gone for three days. I will be back before you can miss much." He says as he wraps his whole body around mine.

"I don't want to miss you at all…"

"I know…I know…no one else can go in my stead. I wish there were but there isn't.

We have a little time before the kids wake up and I get them ready for school. And your meeting isn't until 10:00am."

"What are you getting at?" I ask with feigned innocence.

"A thought has crossed my mind, I know a wise way to spend the time, and maybe we should make the best of it, before it can slip away from us." He says as he showers me with hot kisses all over.

"I can't argue with that" is all I manage to say.

Imagine my surprise when I came downstairs and found Sydney and Johnny staring back at me hopeful. They are all dressed up and waiting in the family room.

"Where's Daddy?" I ask the children.

"He left for the work already," says Johnny.

"Are you sure?"

"Yep, he kissed us goodbye, after talking on his cell phone."

Where's Thomas?"

"He left with Daddy," this time it's Sydney who volunteers the information.

Just perfect Elvis, he doesn't board the plane until midday, he knows I needed to be at the office long before the meeting, and now I am going to be running late. Cynthia can't take them to day-care and preschool, she doesn't have a driver's licence.

I step out into the hall way for more privacy.

I call his cell phone to find out what happened. He picks up after the fourth ring.

"Hello Darling, miss me already?' he says cheeringly.

"EJ…what the hell happened to you this morning. I thought you were supposed to sort out the children. I have a meeting in less than an hour and it's already too late to make some plan other than dropping them off myself."

"Bloody hell, I am sorry darling, it slipped my mind! I am so sorry!"

"Well sorry is not going to fix the problem."

"I know it won't but there's nothing to be done now. I am sure it is not so bad." He says.

I sigh heavily over the mouth piece.

"I am really sorry Nic; I will make it up to you, I promise."

"Tell me the truth, what happened?" I ask pushing aside my anger.

"What do you mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean.

It may have slipped your mind; but I NEVER forgot EJ; you never made that appoint with Lexi, did you?"

"Please not this again." He says dismissively.

"Yes, this again…you are lucky you stole out of the house because I would have dragged you to see a doctor and maybe then I would have had a real reason to be late for my meeting!" I vent.

"Nikki…"

"I will talk to you later when I am not so disappointed."

"I love you," he says coaxing me from the anger just bubbling under the surface.

"Sweetheart, can you hear me?" he says.

No response.

"I love you…?" he says again with more humility.

Damn him!

"I love you too." The words finally roll out my tongue.

"I'll talk to you later, they need me…can you give the kids a kiss for me? I really love you, you know that and I can't wait to see you in three days." He says before hanging up.

"KIDS…it's time to go, get your things!" I call out to them.

We drove out the gate but came to a complete stop just a block away from the house. A car had carelessly stopped across the road in a diagonal position, blocking me from going round it from either side.

"Damn it, it can't get any worse than this." I say under my breath.

"What is it Mama?" Johnny asks.

It's nothing, just some idiot making me late." I say as I step out of the car, leaving the door open and walk towards the inconsiderably parked car.

When I get to the driver's side I find a man leaning over his steering wheel. I pause, unsure whether he's passed out from heavy drinking buy what if he had a heart attack…

"Hello…" I shout out.

There's no movement. I take another step and then another until I am so close I could feel for his pulse through the rolled down window.

Before I can think he jumps awake and steps out of the car and starts walking towards me. I step back from him in fright.

I thought…maybe…you needed some assistance." I fail to hide the stutter in my obviously frightened voice.

"Hello Mrs Mayor, I am so glad to finally meet you…" he says with menace, the deep scar across his face and the tattoos protruding from his neck tell me all I need to know, that he was dangerous.

Run…but there's a break in transmission because my legs won't move.

"We've been waiting for you, we saw your husband driving away not long ago so we knew this is our chance…" he continues while I remain dumb-funded.

Run…

It was when he looked over my shoulder and pointed to my car…Sydney and Johnny…

It is then that life returned to my feet and they did as I commanded them and I turn towards the car.

Oh God…no…I need to get them out of here, I need to get them to safety. Unfortunately immediately after I turn another man stands betweens me and the kids, he looks worse than the not so drunk driver.

It's either now or never…

I make a run for it and soon enough the second guy grabs be by the waist but I use all power within me to break free, kick my assailant in his balls which falls him like a tree in the forest and fly for the car. Just as I am about to drop to my seat and slam the door shut, the first someone pulls me out by my hair and I let out a blood curdling scream.

But this neighbourhood is deathly quiet at this time. There's no one out at this time…no one except the guard at the gate. I let out another scream louder this time. All it does is frighten Sydney and Johnny, who I know are freaking out by now. I can hear Sydney's cries…

I struggle to break free from the first guy by he's smarter that the other one.

"Stop fighting lady or else you will really get hurt," he says but I can't hear him over Sydney.

Johnny screams out to me, "MAMA…MAMA…LET HER GO!"

"I suggest you come quietly if you don't want anything to happen to your kids over there…" he threatens.

Unfortunately I didn't give him the answer he was looking for because I started kicking praying he would tire but I was the one tiring. But the thought of Sydney and Johnny gave me what ever strength I needed. He swore and loosened his grip around me but didn't let go entirely. I just needed a little bit more…

A large hand covers my face…a dirty, smelly rag to be exact covers my nose as well and my mouth. It smells and tastes foul. I feel my body weakening…no…No…NO!

"We were hoping it would come to this…" the man holding me spews.

"Don't hurt my kids…please…DON'T…" my words are blocked.

Every attempt to speak, more of the foulness entire my body and soon my legs tire from struggling. The arms around me begin to feel more and more like steel binders trapping me always. My head begins to spin; I can no longer support my own weight.

"MAMA…MAMA…"

MAMA…MAM…

"SYDNEY…JOHNNY…!" I scream!

"Oh look who's finally awake…

Hello Mrs Dimera, we meet again…" says a man with the most piercing blue eyes and the face of an angel.

"Oh my…IT'S YOU!" I say in recognition.

"Did you miss me? I sure missed you!" he sneers.


End file.
